The Journey of My Life...

And The Journey Continues...

2010-11-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving on the jet plane... again... I'm still traumatized by the miscarriage last year (that could be caused by my hectic journey balik raya 2009...)

Semoga Allah permudahkan perjalanan kami dan selamatkan kami semua (including this little precious in my womb)... Aminn Ya Rabb...

THE SIGN!!...

2010-11-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

At the age of 33 I discovered the first major SIGN of AGING - my 1st UBAN (grey hair) EVER!!!... what a GREAT REMINDER FROM GOD!

Ohh... sudah tua aku ini... Saya tak takut jadi tua... saya cuma takut attitude saya yg perasan masih muda yg tak hengat dunia akhirat w/pun sebenarnya dah tua... ohh!!.. sedarlah diri wahai Hanum!!!

Jika dipanjangkan umur, Insyaallah... I would love to grow old together with Abaji... age gracefully, peacefully and wholesomely on my way to the next life...

Friends... please remind me if I see me going over the limit of my age appropriate behavior!

Mari mencampak di dapur :)

2010-10-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

Abaji's little chef in the kitchen...

It's been ages since the last kitchen event featured in my blog... bukannya ape... sayakan malas masak busy dgn keja skolah gitu... Lagi pun aku bukanlah kitchen goddess seperti Akak Campak or Kak Gee and wanita2 mithali yg seangkatan dengan mereka. Huhuhuh... mmg jauh panggang dari ape le... jauh periuk dari stove!! hehh.. nama je SAHM... isyykk.. buat malu kaum je!

Since mak dah abis skolah ni, kerap jugak la kena paksa ngan itu budak main masak2 bila dia balik skolah... cuma yg lainnya kali ni, tgh main masak2 time Abaji balik keja... so ape lagi... Abaji pun dgn excitednya menjadi paparazi amik gambor perempuan kecik ni... maka secara automatic ade la gambar buat tatapan kenang2an utk mak yg terover malas nak mengupdate blog ni... makin xde keja.. makin malas jadinya! How mahh??..

Yes, Abaji... your anak dara ni sgt pandai dan rajin memasak!!! fuhhh... seb baik ade kitchen slave nenet for the 'after event clearance'... tidak kalu... mak fengsan nakkk!!

Dia dadar telur berejam ok nak bagi rata...

Sauteing the beef... sambil menjeling camera??...

Hasilnya... "Cheesy Weezy Scrambled Beef Egg"... heheh.. sukati je aku letak nama.. :)

Ini resepi campak2 kalau nak try.... very the easy one... ala2 kampung mat saleh...

Ingredients:
Finely chopped ground beef (lean meat) - 1/2 cawan
Eggs - 3 biji
Onion/ shallot - 1/2 biji
Garlic - 2 ulas
Oyster sauce - 1 tsp
Cheddar cheese - selambak!
Parmesan cheese - berlambak2!! (anak aku mmg hantu cheese!!)
Mixed veggie (peas, carrots and sweet corn - akak guna frozen je dekk...)
Salt & pepper to taste
Few drops of cooking oil (pakai non-stick pan, save the minyak... very the healthy!)

Method:
Marinate the beef with blended shallot, garlic & oyster sauce. Whisk the eggs with a dash of salt & pepper. Heat the oil in the pan, saute the beef till half done. Put in eggs, mix and scramble them till cook. Throw in cheddar cheese and let it melts, then throw in mixed veggie. Turn off the heat and sprinkle parmesan cheese.

Kitorang makan dgn baked sweet potato for dinner...

Sekian... terima kasih :)

Abaji is another year WISER... :)

2010-10-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Abaji !!!!....
And many happy returns....
May Allah bless you always and forever...
We love you and always do....

It's just us celebrating Abaji's birthday with the laptop on the table direct telecast through skype with FIL & MIL in M'sia... very simple one... yet very meaningful especially when he (and me) graduating from INCEIF... double celebration lah kiranya :)

Hmmm... Abaji tak nak hadiah ape2??.... hhmmm... betul ke ni yanggg???.. hehehee...

Akhirnyaaaa....

2010-10-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah... syukur... grad jugak ahkak akhirnyaaa... Terima kasih pada Abaji, Hanna.. Nenet... atas segala pengorbanan dan sokongan... terima kasih pada Arwah Mak, Tok Baah, Abah, adik beradik, saudara mara, kawan2... atas segala doa dan nasihat yg diberikan. Hanya Allah sahaja yg dpt membalas budi baik kalian...

Since I'm still here... I'm gonna miss the Convocation Ceremony... tak kisah lah dekkk... x dpt pakai jubah naik pentas amik scroll salam governor pun tak perr... yg penting itu scroll dia post ke sini!!! Masuk keja thn depan nak tunjuk HR siap2!!.. mudah2an dpt $$ lebih... tidak le gaji aku ditakuk lama mcm 4 thn lepas... :) hehehe... oppss!! ape da $$... RM lerr.... huhh.. sungguh berfikiran duniawi saja aku ni.... Insyaallah... ini untuk Akhirat juga... (niat ini kena sentiasa diperbetulkan...).

Ni suatu permulaan yg baru... bukan suatu pengakhiran... (sungguh salah tajuk di atas!!!)

Rezeki Ramadhan...

2010-08-19T03:42:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah...

Just received an email from INCEIF today with the new due date for my PPP submission. The extension is until 15 Sept 2010. Thank you INCEIF... thank you lecturers for your generosity :) (haku saspek mmg ramai yg blom siap!!.. panjang je mailing list tuh...)

And THANK YOU ALLAH tuhan yang maha mendengar dan memakbulkan segala doa...
Yeah... mari bekerja keras... kerja kerass.... rajin dan rajin!!!... dan boleh grad cepat2!! Wahh... bersemangat waja!!!

Last year's batch... Congratulations!

Cerita sampingan (a.k.a nota kaki kembang - tiru Akak Campak):

Teringin nak makan bubur lambuk Kg. Baru hari tu... Abaji la ni... tanya2 pasal bubur lambuk diawal Ramadhan, aku yg terliur... and i know bubur lambuk Masjid Kg. Baru punye ingredients bukan calang2... at least 6 jenis rempah ratus, daging tetel, daun pandan, udang kering bla..blaa.. mmg tak pernahnye cukup bahan kat dapur tu kalau nak buat sebijik sejiban ikut resepi! (kalau cukup pun, aku mmg malas masuk dapur... seperti biasa). Dan tak harap jugak makcik buat, takat suh buat bubur ayam Mc.D tu mmg expert le dia...

Tanpa disangka2 di hari minggu, ada hamba Allah datang bawak bubur lambuk buat buka puasa kat rumah kitorang... Syukur sangat2... dapat jugak merasa (tanpa bersusah payah apa2... hehhee...). Walaupun ianya bubur lambuk Manhattan dan bukan bubur lambuk Kg. Baru, tapi rasanya sangat sedap!!!!... ALHAMDULILLAH... rezeki Ramadhan :)

Dugaan... :(

2010-07-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

I was sick for the past few weeks.... being in front of the computer screen made my sickness even worse!

Apart from procrastination yg sememangnya salah aku sendiri... (slalu last minute...), I was not able to focus and continue writing on my PPP due to my sickness (chehh.. mcm2 la alasan!!).. kalau ade pun satu dua paragraph yg sgt slow progressnye!!

Lagi sadis when my laptop crashed 2 days before the PPP submission deadline... dikala warranty sudah lama expired...Oh!!! and again my mistake was not having the latest backup on important files in my external HD (which I usually do the backup every now and then except in the recent month!!...) darn!! darn!!! darnn!!!!

But the good news is... after paying $103 (ohh!! sengat giler!!) we managed to recover all the data in the hard drive... Yeayy!! Alhamdulillah... :D

Abaji bought the new lappy on the next day (beli laptop mcm beli ikan je kat pasar... tak pk panjang... sukati u la yanggg...). Got a pretty decent one for 500 bucks... sgt puas hati memandangkan ia adalah "laptop emergency". It took us a few days to transfer and download everything needed and be familiarized with Windows 7. Still... I'm missing our old entertainment notebook PC sebelum ni yg agak "happening" that had served us non stop day and nite for 3 yrs!!! It had enslaved itself without any problem sehingga tiba2 motherboard rosak!!... Nak replace kat sini agak tidak berbaloi... so tunggu lah balik Malaya to replace the new motherboard... Low Yatt plaza, sila tunggu kunjunganku....

And the BAD news is . . .

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Hakak sudah terlepas deadline dan PPP itu masih blom siap utk dihantar hingga skarang!!! ala dekkk...alaalaa dekk!!!... aduii sakit balik.... huhuhuhu.... nanges :'(

I don't mind the penalty or mark deduction or anything... tp JANGAN LA AKU TAK GRAD TAHUN NI!!!!.... huhuhuhuuuu... nanges lagiii.... :'(

Sekian, cerita jiwa duka lara utk hari ni...

p/s utk diri sendiri yg selalu lupa dan tak sedar diri:

Rebut 5 perkara sebelum 5 perkara...
Muda sebelum tua...
SIHAT SEBELUM SAKIT!!!
Kaya sebelum miskin...
LAPANG SEBELUM SEMPIT!!!
Hidup sebelum MATI...

Days of Our Life... :)

2010-06-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

Semalam...

Me: Hanna... today is FATHER'S DAY... go say Happy Father's Day to Abaji...

Hanna: Today is Father's day?... Last time was Mother's Day and now Father's Day?...

Me: Yes, go wish Abaji...

Hanna: But mommy... when is DAUGHTER'S DAY ???!!!

Me: (Errr... sentap kejap...) Hmmm... there's no Daughter's day... but there's Children's Day for every daughters and sons... (hehee.. seb baik dpt idea...)

Hanna: WHEN?

Me: (Sentap lagi!!!.. Aku tak tau bila!!...) Errmm... I'll check it out, and let u know when it comes...

Hanna: And I'll be getting present on Children's Day... Yeayy!! (eh.. sukati je budak ni buat conclusion sendiri... aku malas layan...!)

Baru tadika la...

2010-06-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

I didn't know how hard it was to enter kindergarten (don't think my mom had had a hard time enrolling me at tadika kemas...), until my little one is entering in this September '10. Starting with school tour for parents on the 1st quarter of the year before applying the school (most of the schools make it compulsory for the tour - kalo tak tak leh apply)... then isi the lengthy application form dari yg basic info kepada soklan2 yg memerlukan aku berfikir yg membuatkan aku terkebil2 nak menjawabnya seperti:

Describe the 3 most important aspects that needed in kindergarten...
Why do you thing this school is suitable for your child... panjang la pulak ruang jawapan tuh... nk suh buat karangan ke ape?!
Describe the character and personality of your child...
Describe the uniqueness / special talent / ability of your child - be specific!.. oh... has yet to be discovered!
Apart from monetary donation, as a parent, how are you going to contribute for the betterment of the school?...nk suh hakak jadi helper mom lagi kah??

Berejam gak la pikir bila aku isi borang secara ad-hoc right after the school tour, tak anticipate langsung soalan2 mcm ni.... seb baik apply 2 skolah je...

Alhamdulillah... Hanna dapat offer Ella Baker School last week... banyak "gagak" skolah ni. Well, I'm not racist... but they are generally associated with 'rough manner'... hhmm... dah more than 300 years kena paksa jadi hamba abdi... mana tak kasar?!.. but I don't mind sbb skolah ni dekat, and lagi pun sementara je... Oh!! nak ~~kena~~ balik Malaya... balik Melaya... balik Malaya...

So for admission, hakak kena la pegi ke skolah itu membawa segala documentation (offer letter, passport, proof of residency - utility bill, surat from building mgmt, immunization card... etc...) dan mengisi admission form yang... huhuuh... lagi la panjang berjela... forms for school, for NY Dept of Education, release and disclaimer form, emergency form, health/ medical declaration form, ethnicity survey form, health report form kena bagi doctor dia lak fill up and send back to the school... aduii... mcm nak masuk MRSM la pulak!!!.. anak aku baru nak masuk tadika laaaaa!!!...

Next week ade interview and induction for her... adoi aiii!!.. mak pulak yg nebes..

And balik Malaya thn depan masuk tadika lagi... kena ulang lagi ke procedures ni semua???!!!... arrrgghhh... mak pinsan!!!!

bye-bye Pre-School!...

Another year of approaching DEATH!!...

2010-06-07T20:57:00.001-07:00

Gerun bunyinya... terutama bila memikirkan amal yang tidak setimpal dengan umur...

Apa2 pun syukur Alhamdulillah... Allah masih memberi peluang... hari ini seperti hari2 sebelumnya, masih hidup, bernafas, sihat tubuh badan, gembira bersama orang yg tersayang, makan sampai terlebih sudah... (gemok!!)

makan2 @ Persian Grill

courtesy of nenet layan camera - candid snap

my lamb shank yg sgt sedap!!

p.e.l.a.h.a.p. . . to the max... sehingga ke titisan terakhir...

oh, balik rumah ade surprise b'day cake... patut la Hanna tak bagi aku kuar bilik tadi...

hanna's pick

"mommy... can i blow the candle?!"

let's blow together...

another surprise... yg x berapa surprise, sbb aku noticed dia komplot dgn abaji siang tadi... abaji ambik 1/2 day

another self-pick by Hanna...

mak sukaaa!!!

... and this 33rd birthday is extra special because I got the greatest gift ever!! (tiada di dalam gambar) .. hehehe.. RAHSIA!!.. nak tau?! tungguuuu!!!!... :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

Show that we care...

2010-06-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

Tak habis2 Zionis laknatullah nak cari pasal!!!... Memang itu telah termaktub dalam Al-Quran. Hanya dengan kuasa Allah saja yg dapat menghapuskan mereka2 itu. Tapi itu tidak bermakna kita sebagai hamba-Nya yg mengaku beriman hanya duduk tengok membisu. The least we can do is... ambil tahu apa yang terjadi, bagi tahu kepada sesiapa yang mungkin tak tahu... dan doakan mereka yg teraniaya dengan kezaliman melampau puak2 nih... buat solat hajat... qunut nazilah... buat kecaman.... teruskan boycott!!! alamak, hari tu tak perasan makan kurma sedap from Israel!! cisss!!!..hina!!.

I extend this invitation to myself, my friends and my family and whoever read this... let's do whatever we can with our sincere hearts... although it may not stop the cruelty of the Zionist, let's show to Allah that we care, and Allah will definitely care for us !!

Here's the recent news:

Ikhwanweb :: The Muslim Brotherhood Official English Website

Impulse Buyer

2010-06-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

Another round of "mabuk handbags"... SUMMER SALE aduiiii... tak leh tahan... cantikkk... vibrant colors... AIGNER SALE... murahh... suka!! sukaa!!!! :D

Aduiii... tak leh tahan... so many distractions!!!... keja skolah terbengkalai!!!... deadline dah nak dekat.... arrr cuakk!!!

"Original For Less"... tungguuuu!!!...

Mikasa Serving Hostess Set… I like!!

2010-05-25T11:21:00.001-07:00

Have you ever experienced, when u dine at one place, or even at your own home, the serving spoon flop into the dish, or drown inside the gravy that you have to use your hand or another spoon to rescue the drowning spoon? It happens to me several times and what's more embarrassing, those incidents happened when I was dining and entertaining the guests!! Of course I have to use the bigger serving plate / dish bowl when having extra people eating at my house, but due to my ignorance I never bought a proper set of serving flatware (yg ade couple of pieces tu orang hadiah ye… obviously tak cukup lah kalau ade 3-4 hidang) so as usual, I just use the tablespoon instead. Maka kejadian2 itu sering lah berlaku time orang datang.

Oleh kerana saya selalu menerima tetamu, maka keharusan membeli serving flatware telah bertukar menjadi satu kemestian. Dan oleh kerana saya saya tidak mampu membeli sterling silverware (walaupun saya SANGAT SUKA!) dan saya tidak pula akan membelinya (kalau pun mampu) kerana ade hadith sahih yang menegah penggunaan bejana serta peralatan makanan yg diperbuat dari emas dan perak…. So the stainless steel is the way to go!

Mikasa Wavelength Buffet Serving Set (Stainless Steel 18/10)

But good stainless steel won't come cheap either. Apa tah lagi yg designers brand! That's why I was so overjoyed when Mikasa Serving Hostess sets was having clearance sale up to 80%!!!!... Yummmeehhh!!! Maka akak telah memborong beberapa set utk diri sendiri, utk ibu mertuaku dan ibu tiriku, and for a friend whose running a restaurant called Garam & Gula (hehhe Jie… aku promote ko nih).

I thought barang yang elok akan jadi lebih baik jika lebih ramai yg dapat memilikinya, so I spread the news to my friends and family di Malaysia (sharing is caring kan… and yes I'm a caring person… hehehe poyo). The feedback that I get was overwhelming! I've been told that a piece of Mikasa serving spoon the cheapest you can get is RM60! Iye ke?... Gosh!!! So for RM80 per set (original price was around RM350), no wonder I have to buy another 15 sets for them!! And more orders coming today… Insyaallah, I try to fulfill their request while the stock last. You readers (yg tak dapai email i) kalau nak order pun boleh lagi. Give me your email and I give you the details about these products.

Mikasa Hudson Tabletop Serving Set (Stainless Steel 18/8)

Few things that I learn and I wish to share with you about buying the flatware. Apart from considering the design and the number of pieces, the quality of stainless steel is another most important thing to consider. The quality is determined by the mixture of alloy and the weight of the piece. Stainless steel is a metal alloy containing at least 10.5% chromium and more than 50% iron, with nickel added to help protect against rust and corrosion while adding a subtle, silver-like shine. The best stainless steel flatware contains 18% chromium and 10% nickel (usually 18/10 is engraved at the back of the spoon showing the percentage of chromium/nickel), followed by 18/8 then to the lower quality of 18/4 and 18/0 (no nickel – giving the matte finish of dull and darker color).

But some 18/10 (normally of an average brand) are much less expensive than 18/0 of the high end brand. JANGAN TERTIPU with the only look of shine and luster! Examine handles for durability. Durability of a flatware comes with weight! Solid steel pieces are the safest options; flatware with riveted handles can chip or break more easily, particularly with inexpensive handles. That's why it is always good to hold flatware pieces properly to test them before buying. The balance, weight, and proportion of the pieces should be comfortable to grip and turn.

Semoga bermanafaat… :)

Letter from Pauline...

2010-05-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

Siapakah Pauline itu??! Cuba teka?...
hehe..heee
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I received a letter today...

Sender address: COACH, Madison Avenue NYC...

Tiba2 excited!! Ada nak bagi discount lagi kah??... UNBELIEVABLE!!.. normally it's only once a year...

Sekali bukak...

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Pauline is my personal shopper... customer service mmg terbaekk!

Alaaaa... anti-climax btol la.... thank you card je rupanya...

Maka buat kesekian kalinya saya menjadi Ms. Bin Saadun !
... kwang...kwanggg... kwanggg.. ;p

Mommy's Day Everyday...

2010-05-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ok la... mmg saye bersalah sbb saya malas mengapdet.... malas segala2nya infact... (uhh... sgt dosa!!)

But for the past 11 days till now, mmg hakak bz... ulang alik beli handbags... Alhamdulillah... order bnyk masuk... more than 20 biji... and beberapa accessories yg lain. Ye.. orang kedai tu sgt suka hati la melayan aku bagaikan mak datin... dapat business banyak giler, ape taknye!! Dan hakak pun sukerr... coz customer service baekkk punyer!!... They give me 2 dedicated personal shopper's assistants setiap kali aku dtg, after i brought a long list during the 1st sale visit. Tp discountnye ttp 25% jugak!!!... Takdenye nak bagi lebih... huhuhuuu... sekarang tgh terkial2 nak packing n shipping... ditambah pulak dgn Hanna yg amat suka "membantu" (she insisted!!!) Arrgghh... pengsan... suh main jauh2 tak moh...

Anyway, apart from Raya n birthdays, our family don't really celebrate other occasions as much. So my Mother's day was like every other day... after bangun yg sangat lambaattttt, I was out having my own sweet time in that evening with final round of visiting Coach boutique (last day sale...) dan kemudian mencuci mata di Prada, Michael Kors dan Cole Haan yg berdekatan.

Abaji gave me an extra good back massage treatment early in the morning (Mommy's Day treat??... hehehe) membuatkan aku rasa sgt best mau tido dan tido lagi... malas nak bangun... sampai ke tgh hari...

Seb baik la Hanna dgn rakus dan excitednye kejut mak dia yg lena diulit mimpi di siang hari sebok nak bagi card... sambil molot mengomel "Happy Mother's Day - Happy Mother's day" berkali2 with hugs n kisses... (sambil terkiss air liur basi ku?... hahha!! nasib la...)
Hahaha... kreatif btol anak aku x dpt cari envelope ngan reben.... sgt comel dia balut ngan towel Mikey Mouse yg dah lusuh tu dan ikat ngan belt dia... konon nak bagi surprise... Thank you for your effort anak mak sayang... hati mak berbunga2.... :D

Bangun2 kuar bilik je, nampak fresh colorful roses nicely blooming depan pintu, kak Wan hadiahkan last nite sempena Mother's Day.... rumah ni mmg sengaja dibiar kosong tanpa dekorasi ape2... so sesekali dapat, suka jugak... sejuk mata memandang... makin berbunga la hati aku.... I loike.... :)

Lepas makan lunch nenet masak... then bawak Hanna turun bwh gi makan eskrem sedap kat Tasti D' Lite. Biasanya Hanna la yg suke pow aku eskrem ni... Aku main colek2 sket je dia punya slalunye... coz dia makan sorang agak terhegeh2... cair je kang... sbb agak besar saiznya bersesuaianlah dgn harganya yg agak (gulpp!!) $$$ as compared to Baskin Robin or Haagen Das. Tapi akak suke sgt mother's day ni, coz moms eat free!!!... yg anak punye kena bayor lerr... maka kitorang tapau bawak balik... dan sambung makan secara berjemaah di rumah.

...hanya bekas yg tinggal...

So kesimpulannya... apart form having extravagant "me time" and delicious cooking from nenet everyday... today I got extra special back massage treatment from Abaji, beautiful pretty flowers from Aunty Wan, a nice wonderful card from Hanna and free ice cream treat from Tasti D' Lite.
Ohh.. yaa.. dan tak lupa juga great free stuff and goodie bag I got from NYC Family Club yg organized Mother's Day Fiesta Expo minggu lepas. Sukaaa!

Alhamdulillah.... saya terima semua ini dengan penuh kesyukuran. Dalam pada itu, saya perlu kembali merefleksi diri dgn persoalan... "as a mother, have I done best enough for my little one??!"

Dan jawapan yg saya temui lepas muhasabah diri amat menginsafkan... dengan kurniaan anak inilah Allah menaikan mertabat saya sebagai seorang ibu... dan dengan segala kemudahan, kesenangan, kelapangan dan peluang.... saya sepatutnya boleh menjadi lebih baik dalam menjalankan kewajiban bukan sahaja sebagai seorang ibu, tetapi juga sebagai seorang anak, cucu, isteri dan menantu... malangnya saya selalu lalai dan leka serta gagal mengoptimumkan segala peluang yg ada... :(
Semoga Allah mengampunkan saya, dan semoga ibubapa, atok, mertua, suami dan anak saya ikhlas dan redha dgn saya dan memaafkan sekiranya saya gagal melunaskan hak2 mereka yang sepatutnya saya tunaikan....

At this moment... deep down inside my heart... I'm crying missing my EMAK.... :'(

Alfatihah...

My beautiful Emak in between her cancer treatment in 2007... she was a strong woman!
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Oppsss... terlupa nak call mak tirisss wishing Happy Mother's Day... aisehmen... itu la pasal... leka lagi!!!

Hanna is 5 !!

2010-03-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

March is the most awaited month for Hanna... kept counting days since February looking forward for her birthday... (this is one of the way I did to help her learning the concept of days, weeks, months and how to read calender). She was so excited about it! Dan aku malas la nak pening2 kepala... plan nk buat makan2 sket and doa selamat je kat rumah jemput rakan2 seagama (berapa kerat sgt kenalam Muslim kitorang kat sini selain dari org2 ofis abaji yg 2-3 org tu) and most probably mcm thn lepas, repeat small party je kat skolah dia. Hmmm... but a week before the date, tergezut jugak bila dia kata, "I don't want to celebrate my b'day at school." Her firmness on her decision made me wonder if there were anything wrong at school.

Tried to find out what was going on (it wasn't hard to find out, as I'm a part time teacher helper on volunteering basis) I didn't find anything weird or unpleasant with the school or her friends or her teacher. In fact, I was so happy (and relieved?) seeing her intellectual and social progress. That derived me with a conclusion, that she is simply her... doesn't like crowd too much (like her Abaji).

Maka dengan itu mak pun sudah melompat kegumbiraan, sbb tak yah la fikir nk beli party favors, snacks and cakes utk 11 org budak dlm kelas dia... hehehe... Kita buat kat rumah je yek?... And she gave me another surprise when she only wanted to invite Auntie Wan, Auntie Zarina, Sarah, kakak Hajar and Uncle Hamid ONLY!!!!...
Lohh?? what about Uncle Iqbal, Uncle Amir, Auntie Sara and baby Redha? (dia mmg cukup jaki kalo aku main ngan baby Redha... jeles tak hingat!!). Dia tak bagi invite... aduih laa... serba salah mak dibuatnye.
Since Zarina and the girls couldn't make it (sbb buat on the week night, weekend mak bz...), maka the guess of honor were only Auntie Wan and Uncle Hamid...

On the birthday itself (during the day), Zarina called nak blanjer Hanna kat Baskin Robin with Sarah and Hajar dgn bagi hadiah la bagai... ohh.. rupa2nye twice celebration jugak b'day dia thn ni. Thanks Zarina!!! I didn't go with her sbb hakak (std la las menet...) baru la terkedek2 nak cari hadiah dan gi Vienero's beli cheese cake super sedap dan gemok itu... Mmg sedap, no wonder it's Governor Zeti's favorite. Kalau dtg sini mesti tapau bwk balik M'sia hakak Zeti itu. Well, party utk 5 orang je, tp mak dengan rakusnya membeli kek saiz XL hehehehe... (dgn penuh keinsafan, purposely beli without toppings / decorative icings). Hehehe... ni mak ke anak yg nak makan nih??... Dgn penuh rasa guilty (sbb x jemput Iqbal, Amir and his family) Abaji tapau ler sikit bawak gi opes kesesokan harinye. And the rest, cuba teka sapa yg langsaikan??... kehh... kehh...

Happy 5th Birthday anak mak sayang... semoga membesar dengan sihat, kuat dan menjadi anak yg solehah... amiin...

Maid in Manhattan...

2010-03-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Nenet hulur $35...

"Mak... saya nak mintak belikan besday prejen utk Hanna... baju prinses2 gaun yang cantik2... tp duitnya ini aja," kata Nenet.

Aku TERSENTAP!!!...

Sebak...

Sayang betul dia kat Hanna... Alhamdulillah...

Bila bercerita pasal maid di kalangan kawan2 dan saudara mara... selalunya yg keluar hanyalah segala kelemahan dan kekurangan Nenet... Hanya sesekali aku bercerita tentang kelebihan dan kebaikan dia... (dah kwn2 tu pun dok bincang pasal perangai buruk maid masing2).

Walaupun tiap2 raya kitorang saling mintak maaf, adekah itu mencukupi?... Semoga Allah ampunkan dosa2 aku yg banyak mengumpat nenet...

Nenek bukanlah orang gaji yg perfect... banyak kekurangan dan kelemahan dia yg aku terpaksa bersabar dengannya. Tapi bila timbang balik, kelebihan dan kebaikan dia lebih banya berbanding kekurangannya. Dan aku pun bukannya majikan yg perfect... mungkin lebih banyak dia bersabar dengan kekurangan dan kecerewetan aku berbanding aku bersabar dgn dia...

Semoga Allah memberkati rezeki, kesihatan yang baik dan kebahagiaan kepada Nenet... Aminn...

NYC Parents Gone Crazy!

2010-03-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

Hanya pasal anak nak masuk tadika... mak bapak yg gelabah!

Although I'm not as crazy (and obsess) as them, being a part of the community of the most "cutting throat" city in the world, I share the same anxiety and hope like those parents (featured in the youtube) since my child is going to kindergarten soon. Owh... sudah besar itu budak - 5 thn suda... umur WAJIB ke sekolah according to NY law.

Of course with the same reason ~ WE WANT THE BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN ~ and since I want to be a good Muslim and my perspective of BEST comprises of dunia dan akhirat, I have already targeted a non-conventional kindergarten/school in KL which I thought the school would be the BEST for her, for me and my family (according to my perspective of BEST). I already have this plan since she was three months old (wayyy back in 2005 - ok la... i admit... I'm an obsessed mom!!).

Tapi sapa sangka yg aku anak beranak akan terjebak kat NYC ni??!! So, my plan to get her the "best" school in Malaysia will still be on once we are back for good, (Insyaallah... kalau ade rezeki la... kalau dia layak diterima masuk skolah tu...), but at the moment I'm restless in and out of surveying the "good" school for her. (Well... that explained why I was on the silence mode for the past 1 month??.. apart from malas dan bangun sampai tgh hari seperti biasa... hahaha).

While public schools are free, they are often perceived as less good than private. Private kindergarten on the other hand, will cost us about $26,000/year (average). While money is not an issue here, I noticed even the best private schools in Manhattan are not up to my standard since they are mostly either run by the Church or a bunch of secularists yg perasan elite!! Well, don't get me wrong... I'm not an anti-Christ and I'm a living product of secular education in hedonism environment!!. It's just because my perspective of 'BEST' as I mentioned before, makes me uncomfortable with the mainstream education system - both public & private - di sini dan di M'sia.

And while other parents have applied as much as 10 schools for their kid (for there is no guarantee you'll get the school u applied - both public n private) , I only applied 2 (both public schools). And I'm considering to apply another one school - private Islamic school (the only Islamic School in Manhattan with some drawbacks in term of location and transportation) or maybe I have to consider homeschooling seriously???!!! - iskkk... mmg kena solat isthikharah nih!

Got Confused by My Own Name!

2010-02-02T22:23:00.000-08:00

My name is Hanum... Hanum Binti Kamarudin. Short, simple and easy! Thanks to my parents for have given me a simply good classic name with such a beautiful meaning.

Orang kata "apalah ade pada nama..." Tapi Islam suruh mak bapak letak nama anak dengan nama yang baik2. Bila orang panggil jadi doa... doa yg baik2 untuk orang yg empunya nama, supaya elok juga lah perangainya seelok namanya.

Tapi ni citer bukan nama elok ke tak elok... ni citer lain...

It's written in my United States VISA...
Surname / Family Name: Kamarudin
Given Name: Hanum Binti (tak pasal2 ade 'binti' jadi first name aku daa... sukati je diorang nih...)

In some of the events I attended, people addressed me as Miss Kemarudean... Oh, mula2 sangat janggal bunyinya... sebab tak biasa dengarkan... but after sometimes I can accept it. But some ignorant American ni mmg sengal btul lah... Kenapa? Sila ikuti contoh2 kejadian yg telah saya alami seperti di bawah:

Scenario 1:
Talipon berbunyi ring...ring... ringg...
Me: Hello?
Caller: Good afternoon, may I speak to Mr. HENAM?
Me: Err... sorry I think u've got a wrong number...
Caller: Hmm... there's no Mr. or Ms. HEANAM KEMAARUDDEAN there?
Me: OHHH!!..Ohh... yea.. it's me, HANUM speaking... bla...blaaa... and the conversation continues...

Ni la bahasa omputeh kan... A makes 'aa' and 'ae' sound, and U makes 'yu' and 'a' sound. And apparently mamat yg call tu tak tau aku ni laki ke pompuan. Well, since you American have lidah pengkor yg pelat serta mudah tergeliat... you were forgiven for pronouncing my name incorrectly!

Scenario 2:

People also addressed me by my husband's name as in Mrs. Mohamed or Mrs. Fairuz. Hmm... standard la kan diorang ni, slang mat saleh yg pelat... Kekadang sebut Farooz... kekadang Feiroos... yg panggil Ferazz pun ade... Tapi yg tak tahan tu, there's one time when we stayed at the hotel in California, tetiba kunci (card) bilik aku tak berfungsi la pulak. So I went down to the lobby counter to get it replaced.

Man: Good evening Ma'am... How can I help you?
Me: I couldn't get into my room. Something wrong with this card sambil bitau no. bilik mintak dia fixkan..
Man: Certainly Ma'am... sambil check computer
Man: You are Mrs. Bensadoon?...
Me: Err... Excuse me?.. I didn't get you... muka confuse sudah...
Man: The room is registered under Mr. Bensadoon Mohamed Feirooz?
Me: Oh... yaa, Mohamad Fairuz Bin Saadun.
Man: Here u go, this should be ok. Any other thing that I can help u with, Mrs. Bensadoon?
Me: Err.. no thanks...
Man: You are welcome. Have a pleasure stay Mrs. Bensadoon...

Time tu aku dah menahan gelak... tak pernah terpikir yg nama aku ni boleh jadi Bin Saadun... hahahha.... den teringat Bin Laden la pulakk...

Dan yg paling sengal skali....

Scenario 3:

During our annual medical check-up recently, bersama Abaji ditempat kejadian... lama gak la dok kat doktor's office ni menunggu giliran... aku sudah kebosanan... tetiba Abaji cuit bahu...

Abaji: Eh, dia panggil nama you tu...
Me: Aaarr?... Mana de, tak dengar pun...
Nurse: Benti?... BENTII!!.. seakan2 menjerit, mata meliar tengok setiap patient yg menunggu...
Me: Yes... Aku terkocoh kacah bangun masuk ke examination room...

And she gave me that 'ARE-YOU-DEAF?!' look while i entered the room. Hehehehehh... mmg la nak dekat 5-6 kali aku dengar nurse tu panggil "Benti" tu... but never thought she was calling me!... hehehe... tak pernah hayat la orang panggil aku BENTI!... Seb baik Abaji ade... hehehehe...

In the examination room, aku sempat la menjeling my health record atas meja tu. Hahh!!! Sapa la yg mangkuk sangat ni isi nama aku dlm form mcm ni?!! Obviously, it wasn't my handwriting! I suspected the either insurance company or doctor's assistant yg tulis nih, coz i remembered filled up my health information exactly as per my VISA... but it turned out to be:

Last Name: KAMARUDIN
First Name: BINTI HANUM

Laaaa... patut la dia panggil aku BINTI... tak ke sengal tuh?! Terasa mcm nama aku diperkotak-katikan... tapi tengok muka nurse tu pun dah mencuka... aku batalkan je la niat nak suh dia betulkan... makcik tak koserr!!! Thn depan je la hakak suh dia betulkan...

Scenario 4:
This happened way back in early 2008. Hanna and friends participated in the Kids' Art Exhibition where they jointly drew a picture. Hmmm... what a lovely picture they made.. but I felt weird when I looked the name list... can u spot the ERROR?!

Still Waiting...

2010-01-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, I've completed my Part II. Although my result this semester was as not as 'flying colors' as the previous one, I'm glad I've passed! I couldn't ask for more and I'm so thankful to Allah for granting me the success one after another. Alhamdulillah....

Now I'm waiting... and still waiting...

I'm waiting for the INCEIF to reply my application of exemption on the Articleship for CIFP Part III which if I succeed, I don't have to do the internship in the Islamic Financial Institution for 6 months and produce an article of the internship. Instead, I can continue to be at home and and prepare my Professional Practice Paper (PPP) which I already submitted the proposal of the topic. With my limited experience in the banking area, I don't know if my topic is professional enough to be accepted as PPP. Hmmm... it's even harder to think professionally when u r at home, away from working environment.

Come to think about it, I actually prefer to do Articleship where I'll be getting hands-on experience rather than theory. Well, it's just for 6 month anyway, and I eventually don't have to go to "work/office" everyday! That's what I like about it. But the problem is.... I CAN'T FIND ANY ISLAMIC FINANCIAL INSTITUTION IN THE NYC!!!!.. sengal betul la duduk negara kafir nihh!!

Harapnya pernantian ini berbaloi, Insyaallah....

Surat untuk Hanna...

2010-01-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum Hanna...

Mak harap mak dapat menyimpan surat ini sehingga Hanna boleh membaca dan faham tentang kehidupan dan hal2 keibubapaan. Mak letak dalam blog mak skali sebagai 'backup'. Harap Hanna tak kisah kalau orang lain baca. Mak harap mak dipanjangkan umur dan diizinkan Allah untuk menunjukkan sendiri surat ini pada Hanna supaya anak mak boleh membacanya nanti, kiranya layak dijadikan pandukan tika perlu.

Hanna...

Lagi 2 bulan Hanna dah nak masuk lima tahun. Kejap je... dah besar anak mak nih...
Banyak perubahan yang dah nampak pada Hanna walaupun tidak sangat pada tumbesaran fizikal dah setahun lebih masih di 15kg hehehe... Hanna masih belum bersekolah secara formal... Mak tau kalau kat Malaysia (mahupun di New York) ni kebanyakan kanak2 sebaya Hanna sudah bersekolah tadika secara formal setiap hari.... Hanna selalu minta untuk bersekolah setiap hari... Insyaallah nak, mak dan Abaji sedang berusaha untuk itu.

Alhamdulillah... syukur ya Allah, walaupun main2... tulisan Hanna semakin baik dan kemas, kekadang tu rasa lebih cantik dari tulisan Abaji... oppss!! jgn marah yangg... (masih huruf BESAR saja... huruf kecik belum lulus!). Hasil bermain "Cikgu2" bersama emak and Abaji, dengan menggunakan jari2, Hanna sudah faham dengan konsep penambahan dan pengurangan dan boleh menjawab soalan2 Matematik yg mudah. Lukisan2 Hanna pun semakin kemas dan cantik... lukisan rumah, pelangi, bentuk hati, bunga, reben, orang, kucing, arnab, burung, taman permainan :). Mak suka sangat bila Hanna bagi mak lukisan2 tu... mak rasa cantik sangat!!... sebab mak sendiri pun tak pandai melukis :p

Hanna suka pinjam buku-buku di perpustakaan. Mungkin sebab Hanna suka sangat suruh mak bacakan buku2 yang sangat banyak sampai emak penat dan bosan juga..., Alhamdulillah, kepenatan mak itu berbaloi nak... sbb kebelakangan ini Hanna sudah pun boleh membaca perkataan yang mudah2... (Bahasa Inggeris saja... Bahasa Melayu belum lagi...). Dan yang paling mak gembira Hanna sekarang sudah mula memunjukkan minat nak baca buku Iqra' berbanding dengan bulan2 terdahulu. Hanna masih di Iqra' 1... walaupun Hanna menunjukkan minat, mak masih lagi bermalas2an dan tak konsisten nak mengajar Hanna Iqra'... Maafkan sifat malas mak sayang... dan mak dengan mudah nk menyalahkan setan2 di sekililing emak!! Jangan diikut perangai buruk emak ni ye nak...

Hanna... :)

Satu lagi perubahan ketara pada Hanna yang mak suka... Hanna sekarang suka sangan ikat rambut, setiap masa di mana saja... sampai tidur pun nak ikat rambut. Anak mak sorang ni nampak kemas dan comel! Sifat keperempuanan Hanna pun semakin teserlah, obses pada merah jambu dan jingga, suka pada aksessori dandanan rambut... berbanding dengan Hanna tahun2 yg lepas, tak suka satu hapah pun yg diletakkan di atas kepala kecuali tudung. Cakap pasal tudung... Mak bersyukur sangat bila Hanna hulur tudung suruh Mak pakai masa ade "uncle" ketuk pintu rumah kita hari tu. Hanna belum tahu hukum bertudung, tp mak rasa seolah2 berjaya menjadikan kelaziman dan contoh yg baik kepada Hanna. Insyaallah, mak cuba istiqomah dan pakai tudung bila ade bukan muhrim termasuk sepupu sepapat dan ipar duai pulak lepas ni. Bab2 ni mak sgt cuai dan culas... Hanna doakan mak ye... Hanna seorang yang pemalu juga mudah tersipu2 terhadap perkara2 yang dikaitkan dengan perbezaan gender (seksualiti?). Bukankah malu itu sebahagian dari iman?... hhmm... mak aje yang masih tak tau malu... sampai sekarang mak masih gagal tutup aurat dengan lengkap... mak masih cenderung memilih fesyen2 yg tah apa2 tu... Hanna jangan jadi mcm mak ye sayang....

Hanna...

Anak mak ni seorang yang progresif walaupun pada umumya kelihatan sangat pasif dan senyap... tapi terkadang ade perubahan2 lain Hanna yg membuatkan mak risau dan cemas... Mak takut anak emak ini dewasa sebelum waktunya. Mak risau dengan keadaan persekitaran sekeliling yang sangat kejam dan jelek, rangsangan2 di sana sini yang boleh memberi impak negatif kepada fizikal, emosi dan spiritual kanak2 seperti Hanna. Hanna tau tak... mak sebenarnya risau bila Hanna mula tahu konsep 'boyfriend-girlfriend' seawal umur 4 tahun! Mak terkejut bila Hanna tolak dan tepis tangan mak bila mak cuba halang mata Hanna dari melihat adengan2 yg tak senonoh ala2 18SX di TV! Hanna malah marah mak bila mak tukar siaran lain, w/pun mak cakap siaran tu tak elok... tp mak pun tgk jugakk... ! Mak sedih sebenarnya bila Hanna tak mau lagi membaca surah2 lazim bersama mak atau Nenek bila nak tidur... mak terkilan bila Hanna sekarang dah tak mau solat berjemaah bersama emak dan Abaji bila diajak, tak mcm dulu. Begitu juga bila Hanna tak mau pakai tudung yang dulunya Hanna suka nak pakai bila keluar berjalan2.

Adakah ini hasil dari kesilapan dan kegagalan emak mendidik Hanna? Adakah ini indikasi yang memperingatkan mak agar jangan didik anak secara spontan?! Atau, adakah emak ini risau tak bertempat??... Mak tahu Hanna masih kecik... baru nak masuk lima tahun... belum wajib solat dan tutup aurat. Banyak lagi cabaran2 besar dan kerisauan2 yg lebih berat yg perlu emak tanggung. Insyaallah, semampunya mak akan merancang dan memberi pendidikan terbaik bagi anak mak utk dunia dan akhirat. Mak harap mak masih ada masa dan diberikan kesempatan utk itu...

Mak cuba utk perbaiki diri sebagai seorang hamba Allah. Hanna adalah amanah utk mak. Mak cuba menjadi ibu yg terbaik yg tidak membandingkan anaknya dengan anak2 orang lain yang mungkin dan sememangnya jauh lebih baik darinya. Apa yang cuba mak tekankan di sini ialah utk mengingatkan diri sendiri dan juga diri Hanna agar kita tahu potensi diri, mengenal pasti kelemahan dan berusaha memperbaiki diri agar menjadi lebih baik bukan utk di mata insan, tetapi yg terlebih penting menjadi lebih baik pada pandangan Allah.

Hanna...

Sekali lagi mak mintak maaf banyak2 sekiranya tersalah dalam mendidik Hanna. Mak mintak maaf sekiranya masih kurang perhatian yang mak berikan pada Hanna dan mak melebihkan perkara lain yang bersifat duniawi lebih dari Hanna. Nanti bila baca surat ni, Hanna tegurlah mak mana2 yg mak silap (kalau mak masih ade lagi time tu...). Mak cuma nak Hanna tau yang mak sayang sangat kat Hanna dan mak nak Hanna jadi anak yg solehah...
Insyaallah, mak bercadang nak tulis lagi surat kat Hanna dari semasa ke semasa. Mak harap Hanna sudi membacanya nanti dan ambil lah apa2 yang baik darinya.

Salam Kasih Sayang dari ibumu,
Hanum Kamarudin
Manhattan, New York.

p/s: Hanna... mak sepatutnya tulis dalam bahasa persuratan, itu adalah lebih elok... but I hope u don't mind dgn tulisan bahasa pasar mak ni... and mak terasa mcm impress sket dlm surat pertama ni, mak guna bahasa melayu sepenuhnye, takde bahasa rojak pun mcm selalu mak cakap ngan Hanna... and I laughed when i read it to myself... lol!!

The Freezing Cold... The Lovely Winter... The FUN SNOW!

2009-12-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

The obvious self-explanatory pics... (more in my FB :))

K.E.R.E.M.P.E.N.G

2009-12-02T23:13:00.000-08:00

My daughter is SUPER THIN... seriously thin. She will be 5 in 3 months time, with her height of 41 inches but her weight maintain at 15 kg since last year (short & petite like mommy?!). It didn't bother me much because she is active and focus and generally healthy… (Except for unhealthy eating habits which I think is a standard phase among the kids at her age).

But lately, whenever she sits on my lap, tulang tongkeng dia terasa sangat tajam menusuk ke peha ku and it HURTS!!.. SANGAT SAKIT which I automatically push her aside (tindakan reflect ringkas yg dah banyak kali terjadi… kesian anak aku...). I thought my thighs were oversensitive or I was just being ngada2 and overreacted, but Nenet also complaining the same thing whenever Hanna sits on her lap!

Have you ever experience the same thing with your children? Apart from ~~forcing~~ persuading her to eat healthy foods and supplements to gain ideal weight, what would you do? I know it sounds cliche, but would you consult the pediatrician (in case of any coccyx abnormality ~na'uzubillah~)? So far she never complains of any pain or discomfort though…

MY SACRIFICE...

2009-11-28T02:53:00.001-08:00

Kehh.. kehh… kehh… mcm poyo je tajuk!!... My sacrifice la konon.

Tapi memang iye jugak le sempena Hari Raya Aidil Adha yang memang bertemakan 'pengorbanan'. Mengimbas kembali dan mengambil ibrah sejarah Nabi Ibrahim yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja untuk mengabdikan diri kepada Allah walaupun terpaksa menyembelih anaknya sendiri, tentu saja umat Islam di sana sini (but not in Manhattan tho…) amat sebuk dengan acara sembelihan binatang korban.

With AidilAdha jatuh pada hari Jumaat 27 Nov, the day after Thanksgiving day a.k.a THE BLACK FRIDAY, adalah hari yg sangat ideal untuk menyoping stock barang2 for 'Original For Less' and other personal cravings needs. Tetapi aku telah berkorban untuk tidak ber 'midnight madness' and 'morning madness' melayani BLACK FRIDAY SALE yg semamangnye GILA!!... seriyes beb… giler murah! Ini adalah bagi menghormati dan merayakan Hari Raya Korban yg jauh lebih mulia daripada sale yg ntahapahapa itu… kedai bukak seawal 4 pagi (some of them start 12midnite)… and bargain up to 85% but only for limited time, sampai tengahari sahaja ye… memang sgt tempting ok… Sesungguhnya aku berjihad dan bekorban menundukkan nafsu shopping ku di AidilAdha ini… Well… takde la sesuci mana pun pengorbanan tu… layak ke dipanggil korban, cenggitu??.. Actually I've experienced the Black Friday at Woodbury Premium Outlet last year… and I don't think I want to do it again this year… makcik dah tak kuasa nak berpusu2 dlm crowd n beratur panjang nak masuk Coach outlet tuh dengan cuaca yg sejuk sampai ke tulang ni… sampai demam2 okeh… tp tengok la thn depan, mungkin?! Kalau raya tak jatuh on Black Friday?... hehehh…

Alhamdulillah, disebelah petangnya adalah acara open house hosted by Razi & Wani, and after that to Zarina's house for another double celebration feast (Thanksgiving + Aidiladha). Maka turkey2 itu telah menjadi korban… Perghh!!.. Marvelous!!... Saya rasa sgt G.E.M.U.K…!!

To friends and families… Salam Adiladha dari kami sekeluarga di perantauan. Apa sahaja pengorbanan yang kita lakukan, semoga diiringi dengan IKHLAS.

THE CHRONICLES OF TEARS & LAUGHTER IN MALAYSIA

2009-11-20T12:02:00.001-08:00

CAUTION!! :
This entry is very long! My longest entry ever... You might get bored while reading this. And I'm not responsible for your time wasted for this…;)

MENUNGGU KEPULANGAN…

21 Sept 09 – 2 Syawal

Salam Aidilfitri buat semua… We celebrated 1^st Syawal yesterday in Frankfurt while transiting. Akhirnya sampai juga di KLIA, touchdown at 9.30am… it was really a long 24 hours journey. Penat… but excitement & happiness suppressed every negative aura in me. I smelled home already…. Our home sweet home… Mak, Ayah, Shan & Aji dah tunggu kat luar sana. Nampak diorang semua melambai kat kitorang when we checked out… syahduuu… kalau la emak aku pun ade sama :(…. Tp syukurlah aku masih ade emak mertua yg amat sporting tempat menumpang kasih.

Mak suggested we go to Sg. Besi first. Raya terus kat rumah Nana, as Nana had been waiting excitedly since 4.00 in the morning, woke everybody from sleep, urged to pick Fairuz at KLIA… iye la… cucu kesayangan dia dua tahun tak jumpa… and definitely he couldn't wait to hug his only great-grand-child, Hanna. Off we went to Nana's house till afternoon, then balik rumah TSP ku yg dirindui…. Heikal & Aerin really did a good job in taking care of this house… Alhamdulillah…. Thanks bro & sis…

22 Sept 09 – 3 Syawal

Aduhh.. penat… jet lagged yg teramat… dgn teramat malas meng unpacked barang… 7 luggages… banyaknye barang orang… called Abah, Hekal & Hik kat Muar… kesian Hik… dah la sarat mengandung… maid pulak mcm sial buat sukati dia nak balik Indon time2 critical mcm ni… orang pulak dtg bertali arus tanpa henti… maklum lah… raya… sorry Hik… I wish I were there to help… tp aku kena tunggu laki aku settlekan Nenet's visa and all… and opes US embassy tu hanya bukak esok. Nasib baik emak baru itu sgt cargas dan pantas… I've heard all the good feedback from my siblings and relatives about this emak baru… bagus lah… Alhamdulillah. Told Hik about the good news… about my pregnancy la… ape lagi… Hik sgt suka… aku pun suka… burst into tears… rindu lah with all these sister2 thingy…

Shiqin & Fazuan came for raya that day… brought baby Taufiq along… the macho and handsome Taufiq… but only got to play with little Taufiq just for a while… diorang kena balik cepat…

23 Sept 09 – 4 Syawal

Pagi2 lagi Abaji dah kuar bawak Nenet… gi renew visa. Ya Allah… permudahkan lah segalanya. Nervous jugak kalau interview Nenet tak lepas… No..no…nooo… I can't afford to be maidless… sungguh mengada-ngada aku ini… iye… memang teramat mengada-ngada tahap dewa. I can't imagine myself without a maid… a good maid… pasti aku menjadi ibu yg garang and hot tempered… mesti aku tak boleh nak study… mesti aku susah nak shopping… oh NO!!... easily Hanna tu nanti kena dera memandangkan perangainya yg sama mengada2 terlampau mcm aku…

Visa Nenet clear!! Yess..yes… Alhamdulillah… aku sudah siap sedia packing nak balik Muar… Rinduuuuu gilerr kat family aku… dah 3 hari balik m'sia sorang pun tak dpt jumpa lagi… off we went that nite to Muar. 2 hours journey… tak jauh mana… tp rasa sgt penat… fenattt… dah tua kot aku ni… tu la mengandung dah tua2 ni… mcm ni la. Our arrival was welcomed by the latest member of the family… baby Harris… oh the beautiful baby Harris like his mother, Mak Yayin… he's 2 month plus… he's so tiny…. But so loud!! :) Owh… I missed the baby smell so much!!... can't wait for this baby of mine to grow and pop-out from my belly… owh…. Sgt best…. and Harris's head smells like Tok Mak a little bit (my late mother)…. Ya Allah… rindunya kat emak… Al-Fatihah. Tak sabar nak tunggu hari esok… nak melawat kubur mak… sampai sekarang aku tak tau kubur mak yg mana satu… sbb masa kebumi hari tu I was period… so tunggu kat luar kawasan kubur je… and period tak sempat kering dah kena balik NY time tu… sob…sob…

24 Sept 09 – 5 Syawal

Hehee… hari ni makan kenduri kat rumah mak baru… Umi Fatimah… she's such a lovely lady. Terima kasih la kepada sesapa yg mengintroducekan dia kat abah… harapnya abah bahagia bersama umi hingga ke akhir hayat… secara automatic aku dah ade 11 orang adik beradik… 4 adik beradik tiri yg baru itu… all of them are so sporting… so nice… so good… so rajin… tak mcm adik beradik aku yg malas2 itu… and yg tersuper malas adelah aku… eh.. ke ko maknem??...

Sebelum pergi kenduri td Hik dah tunjuk kubur emak. Singgah sekejap kitorang anak beranak kat kubur emak… terubat rindu… Kubur emak elok terjaga rapi… abah ke yg jaga??.. hhmm.. orang jaga kubur la kot yg jaga… After ziarah kubur emak singgah kat rumah Tok Baah… masyaallah… rindunye kat Baah… I'm sure Baah pun rindu kat aku w/pun cucu2 dia yg lain banyak giler diserata tempat. Jumpa Along and Aunty Nailah and Ija… makan kuih sedap… mmg sedapppp!!!

In the afternoon… abaji kena balik kl. Esok is his best friend wedding kat Perak… iskk tak penat ke abaji drive sana sini jauh2??… Tp iye lah… balik sekali sekala… kawan baik pulak tu yg kawin… me, hanna and nenet stayed in Muar… aku mmg tak larat nak ikut… lagi pun lusa kenduri reception belah Abah pulak. Take care abaji… drive carefully… masa salam abaji rasa sebak… huhuuh.. I'll sleep alone tonite… huhuhu… teremotional la pulak… it's pregnancy hormone to be blame… hehehee…

RINDU BERTAMU…

25 Sept 09 – 6 Syawal

"Emaak…. Saya datang ni…." Aku bermonolog sendiri… ehhh.. mcm la emak dengar… insyaallah dia dengar… aku baca yassin… sedekah ape2 yg patut… cakap sorang2 kat kubur mak… pastu sayu hati… pastu nangis… meleleh2 hingus… pastu baca yassin lagi… pastu nangis lagi… pastu cakap sorang2 lagi kat emak… pastu nangis lagi… rindu la kat emak… rinduuuu…. Kalau la mak tau aku pretnen… sure dia happy…

Petang tu bawak Hanna pegi tanjung… ngan angah.. ngan maknem… tengok monyet… Hanna aku rasa mcm ade cultural shock sket kot… tak biasa cakap melayu… except with Nenet… sian anak aku…. Asik complain panas aje… (kan aku dah kata dia ngada2…) mandi sampai 6 kali sehari… takpe lah nak… this is where u were born anyway…. slowly u'll adapt to this M'sia hot and sweaty weather. The good thing is McDonald and KFC kat sini halal… "Hanna nak KFC?"… dan malam itu maknem sudah kena paw ngan aku and Hanna… hehehe… thank you maknem!!

And that nite I received a call from Shan… dia nak bertunang!!! Yeayyyy…. Bertambah lah ahli keluarga mertua aku lepas ni… and ade geng la aku lepas ni… since I'm the only menantu girl in the family… adik beradik abaji semuanya lelaki… and yg lain belum kawin lagi… Errmmm… but the thing is… Shan only told me.. and me alone… dia segan nak beritau mak katanya… owh… and aku la yg akan jadi master mind menguruskan segala2nye ini… aiseymennn…. Boleh ke??... pandai ke aku ni?... keja meminang bertunang bukan memain… ni keja orang tua2… aku ni kanak2 rebena lagi… owhh… shann… bertuah punye adik iparrrr….

26 Sept 09 – 7 Syawal

"Emak… Saya datang lagi ni…" bermonolog lagi kat kubur emak pagi tu sementara orang kat rumah tengah pasang khemah. Sedekahkan bacaan yasiin and ape2 yg patut… Bermonolog lagi sendirian kekonon cakap ngan Emak lah tu… Ingatkan hari ni tak nak nangis dah…. Tp huawaawaaa… ternangis juga…. Emakk.. kenapa la kememeh sgt anak mu ini??

Makan kendurik lagikk…. Yeayyy… gomok lah akuhh…. Hari ni kenduri Abah cum open house… menu orang kawin plus menu raya… gilerr makan!! Jumpa sedara2 jauh dan dekat… so meriah… and Mala came!!!!.... thanks mala for coming. U look so yummy mummy… sudah 7 bulan merandungggg!!! Hakak sgt sukerr!!!

Hmmm… mana abaji tak sampai lagi ni… aku sudah risau… it's a long journey from Teluk Intan to Muar… eh, teluk intan ke?.. entah lah.. tp perak mmg jauh la nak sampai ke muar nye… Semua orang tanya mana abaji…. Penat lah hakak nak explain kat sorang2 nih…. Cepat la abaji…

Abaji sampai dah petang… Ahamdulillah… biar lambat asalkan selamat… aku ni je risau tak tentu pasal… full with anxiety… and I want to blame it on the pregnancy hormone again??!!... hehehee…

27 Sept 09 – 8 Syawal

"Emak… saya tak dpt dtg… hujan lebat nihh…" Aku sedih pagi tu tak dapat pegi kubur emak… Cuma bacakan untuk emak kat rumah je… rindu datang lagi… "Mak… hari ni saya nak balik kl… maybe tak dapat ziarah kubur emak dah lepas ni… takut tak sempat balik muar lagi sebelum balik NY"….

Malam tu balik KL… tp sebelum tu pekena dinner kat Bentayan dulu… sate muar yg chomel2… meehoon soup… I was eyeing for otak2… takde la pulak… takpe lah.. aku pun dah terover kenyang ni.. makan durian frozen yg abah simpankan 2 bulan lepas… Alhamdulillah… masih sedap. Tp kena beringat lah… aku pretnen… tak bleh makan banyak… panas pulak kang…

Dah setengah jam perjalanan hampir nak masuk tol Tangkak…. "Mommy, I want PenguinPooh… where's my PenguinPooh??"… Hanna panicked muka nak nangis…. Astaghfirullah…. PenguinPooh Hanna tertinggal kat rumah Abah… ya Allah… itu adelah teddybear kesayangan cum bantal busuknye. Nak tido kalu… mesti nak gentel telinga PengguinPooh dia… adoiilaaa… abaji terpaksa pusing semula balik ke Muar… perjalanan 2 jam menjadi 3 jam…. Sampai rumah TSP dah lepas tgh malam… aduhh penatnyeee…. Travelling is very tiring…

HERE… THERE… AND EVERYWHERE…

28 Sept 09 – 9 Syawal

Pagi2 dah kena bangun… sent nenet for medical check –up. Dah 2 thn dia tak buat medical check-up. It's not mandatory… but it's precautionary… dah la dia takde insurance kat NY… jadi ape2 susah lak kan… so this is preventive measure. I checked on my pregnancy as well. That tiny little peanut is growing inside me… it's 8 weeks and it's growing to the size of the grape now… sgt bahagiaaaa….. :)

Lepas tu pegi survey spek nenet… mata nenet rabun makin teruk… rabun dekat… dia pun dah tua… nak beli spek kat NY sure kena sembelih mahal nak mampus nih…. Round sana sini… cari yg sesuai and value for money… rata2 quoted price for lense only around RM400++… tak masuk frame… mmg mahal rupanya spek nenet nih… huhuuh… Pegi shopping kat Giant after that… we have a long list of items to bring back to NY… iye.. banyaknye bahan makanan lah yg susah nak dapat kat NY… kicap kipas udang especially…. Aduhh penat nyeee… tp bila lagii…. Our days are so packed with so many agendas after this. We couldn't fulfill our list… definitely kena shopping seround lagi la nampaknye sebelum balik NY ni…

29 Sept 09 – 10 Syawal

Aduhh… letihh…penat… ngantuksss… Ahhh!!.. takde!!..takdee… tak bleh layan kepenatan ini!!!... Today we are heading to Jengka, Pahang… tempat bermastautin my parents in law. Abaji sudah semestinya tak sabar nak tgk rumah… kilang… kebun ayah… kolam ikan… His passion in that business… his interest in that kilang… dia anak yg baik nak membantu ibu bapanya sedaya upayanya… and I fully understood and I support and encourage him from behind.

Travelling to Jengka tak lama… 2 jam je.. mcm balik Muar jugak. But being me and being pregnant… haku ni mmg payah sket la trevel jauh2 nih… sakit badan. On the way singgah kat Hutan Lipur Lintang. Kenalkan Hanna pada jeram dan sungai. Owhh… very refreshing!!.. Kejakunan anak aku pada hutan dan sungai mmg terserlah!!... screaming with excitement… ehh.. jgn la ade monyet beruk yg kuar dari hutan ni dengar dia menjerit terkinja2 mandi sungai… sgt happy okeh itu budak!

30 Sept 09 – 11 Syawal

Balik Pahang memang marvelous!!!... Ibu mertuaku mmg juara memasak despite kebiziannya looking after the business and the kilang… aku mmg membulat kalo dok kat sini… makan… makan… makan dan makan… Cuma aku je yg tak betah duduk di dapur… suma main subcon kat Nenuett… aduilah.. ape la nasib mertua aku dapat menantu sulong malas masak mcm nih… harap2 second and third menantu nnti dapat memenuhi citarasa menantu pilihan mereka…

I broke the news about Shan nak kawin to Mak… Mak was so overjoyed started to plan something and everything… "Eh, kalo macam ni kita kena pergi meminang secepat mungkin… sebelum korang balik NY!!", kata Mak. Hmmm… bila kah masanya yg sesuai???... yg ade cuma next weekend! I asked Shan to call his girlfriend to meet me and Mak a.s.a.p to discuss… benda besar nih… alamakk.. kena reschedule la segala plan2 aku lepas ni… whatever it is… FAMILY MUST COMES FIRST!!!... yes!!.. that how it goes!!

1 Oct – 12 Syawal

As I was waiting for Shan's gf to arrive, I tried to do some reading… nak buat assignment la konon… penat travelling tak hilang lagi… tp ape bleh buat…. assignment hakak sgt la banyakkk dekkkk!!!... Rasa mcm suicide attempt je amik 4 subjects sekali gus semester ni… pastu lagi nak berpoye2 kat M'sia lama2… mmg tak sedar diri… Percubaan membuat assignment gagal… Hanna kacau… std procedure la tu anak aku tu pantang tgk aku nak study. Tak tau kenapa Hanna semakin melampau manja dan mengada2nye. Tantrum nye tak hingat dunia… Mak kata biasa la tu… budak nak dapat adik… tp aku yg menjadi mangsa… yg tensionnye aku… yg penat nak mendukung nak memujuknye akuuu!!!... Sabarr… sabarr…. dugaan… dalam sedar aku akui, inilah sebahagiaan dari cubaan dan dugaan yang Allah turunkan dalam membesar dan mendidik anak.

Orang yg ditunggu dah tiba… aku tetiba terasa mcm budak kecik berlagak besar berbincang serious dalam nak menyatukan dua keluarga. Hahaha… rasa mcm klakar dan kekok pun ade… Nasib baik gf Shan sgt sempoi dan humble orangnya. Min is such a nice and pretty girl…so easy to get close to dan sangat senang di bawa berbincang… Come to think about it… ini mmg responsibility aku pun sebagai kakak sulung and the only kakak dlm keluarga ni. Sebagai menantu sulung, tanggungjawab aku untuk tolong my MIL to get things settle. Mak joined us later in our discussion lepas balik dari kilang… kata sepakat telah diambil… nak buat simple2 and very informal je sbb tak cukup masa nak prepare as we need to go to Kelantan after this and Mak Ayah pun busy ngan business. Dan tempat si Min ni pun jauh nun di utara… Pengkalan Hulu, Grik, Perak… tuuu diaa… lagi 7 km nak sampai Thailand. Simple2 pun aku ditugaskan di atas batu jemala patik untuk sediakan 2 hadiah a.k.a dulang hantaran…. Hhhmmm… my head was already busy thinking this and that… owh… Hikkkk…. Tulonggg akuuuuu!!!! I'm so don't know how to do this!!!

TRAVEL… AND TRAVEL AGAIN…

2 Oct – 13 Syawal

This is the part of agenda. Pergi ke Kelantan for his best friend's wedding. I was having this kind of mix feeling of not to go and feel obliged to go… aku rasa sgt tak larat nak travel lagi jauh2…. w/pun bukan aku yg drive, tp terasa sgt renyah dan penat duduk dlm kereta lama2. But I know he expected me to go with him. And aku tak sampai hati untuk berkata tidak. Hanna and Nenet stayed at Jengka. Biarlah dia bermanja2 ngan Tok Wan and Dadiji dia….

Ayah tunjuk jln short cut to Kelantan from Jengka… which saved us about 2 hours as compared to use the conventional road. Off we went to Kota Bharu convoy with another car, Sapik the other best friend and his bini, Has. It took us about 5 hours plus, sampai kat KB dah maghrib, disambut oleh Sedi, the perantin himself… seri pengantin terpancar di mukanya… ahaksss… darah manis la katakan :) Kitorang makan dinner kat kedai sedap… tak ingat dah ape nama restoran tu… tp sangat lah sedap… aku makan sampai keras perut… Kak Jamilah, cousin Mak, offered her house at PCB for us to overnight. Lepas kenyang perut suka hati, off we went to rumah kak Jamilah… yang rupanya bukan rumah… but a mansion!!… or a castle??!!... bapak besar dan cantik gilerr!!!

3 Oct – 14 Syawal

Hari kenduri… makan lagi… tapi sebelum tu… jengg…jengggg!!!... Kak Jamilah kata kalau nak beli batik exclusive boleh la pegi kedai kawan dia… special price… harga sedara2… Aku yg kepenatan sejak dari 1^st day sampai M'sia terus segar bugar bersinar dengan cahaya keimanan…. Kahh…kahhh…. Bab2 soping ni mmg idup lah ahkakkk…. Lagi pun dah 2 tahun akak tak buat baju raya tawww…. Tarus cargas tepon Has yg overnight kat rumah sedara dia kat Ketereh… hehehe…. Has pun ape lagi… meluncur laju ke PCB utk menjoinkan diri.

Heaven aku menjelajah kedai Kak Pah… cantik2 batik sutera exclusivenye… aduhh rambang mata… tak reti nak pilih…. Sutera shifon… tak shifon… sutera creed… tak creed… eh… creed ke krip??!!! Tak kisah lah ahkak vorong barang 5 -6 pasang shifon and krip qada' kan yg tahun2 lepas punye allocation ni skali… oppss… beribu2 lemon gak harganya… takpe ye abaji… bukan setahun sekali pun… Thank you Abaji belanje mak kain sutera… I lap u muaahh… muahh… but errmmm…. Tudon matching takde la…. Huhuuhhu…. Kak Jamilah kata dun worry… kita pegi pasar siti khadijah…. Yeayyyy!!... saye sgt sukerrr!!!... Jom Has… kita pi beli tudung…

Abaji dah bermuka kelat… maklum lah dah tengah hari… keduri best fwen tak gi lagi ni… So Abaji told me dia pegi dulu… dia tunggu kat rumah perantin… Me ngan Has in another car, gi shopping tudung dulu… then gi baru gi kendurikk… Brilliant idea!!... akak mmg pressure kalau bershopping ngan abaji pun… asik nak cepat jer… huhuuu…

Aduhh… penat panjat tangga pasar siti khadijah nihh… but shopping punye pasal… cargas okeh… dah borong 5-6 helai… pegi la dengan tak malunye makan kenduri rumah sedi, dtg lambat… kehh… kehh… Dah kenyang rumah Sedi… pegi rumah Syafiq (abaji's ex-office mate) plak kat Taman Sari… kenduri jugak… adik dia kawin… aku dah tak bleh makan nasi dah time tu.. over kenyang… tp aku tetap belasah kuih akok and puteri mandi yg sangat sedap itu… Kak Wan Khairiyah, bini Syafiq and also was my senior masa kat MRSM dulu siap bekalkan lagi akok sedap itu utk dibawa balik. TQ Kak wan… love it so much!

Dah nak maghrib nih… kitorang pun beransur dulu… next destination…. Dungun Terengganu… it's part and parcel of the agenda… nak balik Jengka lalu Terengganu, singgah kat UiTM Dungun visit Aji, Abaji's youngest brother. On the way… MasyaAllah…. Hujan lebat tak hinggat… angin kuat ribut petir all the way… Abaji had to drive very slow…. Vision sgt tak clear sbb hujan sgt lebat… Aku dah tensi terpusing sana terpusing sini… rasa sakit satu badan… all the nerves and veins felt so pain… 5 hours in the car, we reach Mayang Sari Resort at Dungun almost midnight.

4 Oct – 15 Syawal

Jumpa Aji that noon… pegi makan ala2 kampung kat kedai area UiTM tu… borak2, cerita2 sekejap sambil nasihat2 sket… Abaji sememangnya abang yang baik… aku sgt jarang bagi nasihat kat adik2 aku… apatah lagi kat adik ipar… aku terasa sgt dewasa berada dlm keluarga ini… and terasa sgt keanak2an bila berada dlm keluarga ku sendiri…. But both of families give me a sense of belonging… each in a different unique way… owh… I love these families…

The journey back to Jengka took about almost 3 hours… Owh I so missed Hanna so much already… baru dua hari tinggal… apadaa…

5 -6 Oct – 16 -17 Syawal

Still in Jengka… seperti biasa abaji sebok tolong mak kat kilang… aku rasa ni la masa yg sesuai utk berehat… dan utk bukak buku???... tp Hanna tak beri peluang… aku tak tau kenapa she threw so much tantrum on me… ingatkan 2 hari breakaway dia makin rindu and makin sayang la kat mak dia nih… Tp ni makin melampau… she went physically rough on me… tarik2 and tendang2… sampai aku terpaksa naik tangan!!!…. Uhh… sungguh angin satu badan… aku betul2 bengang ngan budak nihh… is it the pregnancy hormone again to be blame??...

Petang2 sempat la pegi jalan2 bawak Hanna swim kat swimming pool Tekam. Tak sangka kat Tekam ade such swimming pool yg cantik ala2 resort 5 star :). Then bawa Hanna tengok kebun ayah yg banyak projeknye tu. Hhmm.. kenduri besar lah nyamuk2 hutan kat kebun tu hurung anak aku… Hanna suka sgt bagi makan ikan kat kolam tu… such a big pond… ikan tilapia yg sangat sedap… rasanya sedap tak mcm beli kat pasar… boleh commercialized nih… aku slalu jugak hint2 kat ayah… tp ayah kata dia lebih suka buat for domestic consumption utk anak2 makan and sedekah kat jiran2… bagus betul la ayah… no wonder this family is always blessed with so many rezeki dlm bentuk yg pelbagai….

WHEN 24-HOURS/DAY SEEMS AIN'T ENOUGH…

7 Oct – 18 Syawal

Abaji thought of staying longer in Jengka… but I objected since I had so many things to settle in KL… with all the handbags I commit to deliver…. None of them were delivered yet, and I need at least 2 days for that. And all the stuff yg orang2 kirim tak terbagi2 lagi… tu semua amanah yg terpikul di bahuku… di tambah pulak barang hantaran utk Min apa yg nak ku beli… belum beli lagi… rombongan nak meminang tinggal 2 hari je lagi ni beb…. Satu ape tak prepare lagi ni…. owhh.. serabut kepala otak…

We went back to KL on that very morning, sempat lagi tu menyinggah kat Hutan Lipur Lintang skali lagi for Hanna's sake… owh… how we enjoyed watching her terkinja2 kesejukan mandi sungai… sangat seronok!!! Sampai rumah TSP dah tengah hari… aku bergegas packing semua handbags yg nak dihantar. Penatnye jgn citer la… tp sempat ke lain kali kalau tak hantar sekarang??... saki baki cuti tinggal beberapa hari je lagi. Dengan meminjam kereta Mak Yayin… destinasi pertama tentulah BNM… hehehe… sempat lagi buat appointment ngan Netty nak berdating malam tu. Selesai bagi barang2 orang kat BNM sempat la jumpa kakak2 dan kawan2 seangkatan… hhmm… ramai yg dah dpt promotion :)… heheh korang kena belanje aku nih…

After office hour… it's the girls only session… hakak sgt happy w/pun penat…. Destinasi kedua Netty bawak gi KLCC… hhmm dah lama rasanya tak gi KLCC… met Mala & Nikkie there… wah2.. bila mak2 dara sudah berkumpul… sessi berkeypoh2an mula lah berlaku… Oppss… ape2 hal kena kasi settle barang hantaran dulu. I was thinking to buy kurma at Batel… kan Batel nye product pakagingnya mmg vogue de vass… boleh letak je dlm dulang.. tak yah pening pikir2 nak menghias balut bagaii… to my disappointment Batel is out of business!!!... Kedainye sudah takde lagi wujud di KLCC ituhhh!! Ohh.. Frustnye ahkakkk!!.. Kemudian perempuan2 ini suggested Pachi Chocolate… but I wasn't so keen, sbb kitorang dah bagi dia chocolate from NY. But we went to Pachi anyway nak tengok kot kalau ade kurma… and Yesss!!! Ade kurma mix with chocolate in a very beautiful box… it's my taste… sgt sessuwaiii… aku dah terbayang betapa canteknye kotak Patchi ini bertenggek kat astas dulang hantaran… ahkak sukerr…. BUT!!!... errmmm… reganya RM650!!!!... NO!!! I won't be spending that much for one dulang hantaran yg hanya berisi beberapa ketul kurma & cokelat!!... dah le untuk acara tunang je… bukan kawin ponnn!!! So cancel lah… I hv to think about other alternative and I hv only tomorrow to get things settled…

Ryan joined us later that nite… we really had a good food and good chat. Thank you girls for belanja me that nite… thanks for the companion…. thanks for the ideas and suggestion on this tunang2 thing… thanks so much for such a lovely evening… terubat rindu kat korangs…. ahkak sgt gumbiraaa…. Sampai rumah TSP almost 1 pagi… Abaji dah dozz off… Hanna pun sama… by the time aku nak tido Hanna bangun… meragam ajak main… ajak makan and all…. Aku layankan sampai kol 5 pagi… owh.. sehari suntuk aku tak tido… GILER PENAT!!!.... tapi nak buek camno…..

8 Oct – 19 Syawal

Sempat la tido kejap lepas subuh… ohh.. best!! Ehh.. tp tak leh lama… Aku bangun bergegas… camna2 pun kena cari jugak hadiah hantaran hari ni. Abaji pagi2 lagi dah berlepas ke Putrajaya atas urusan business Mak… menda2 nak tunang ni dia tak amik pot langsung. So aku terpaksa merembat kereta Mak Yayin lagi kali ni… hehehe… kesian Aerin… thanks Aerin for letting me hijacking ur car :)

Gi Leasure Mall la yg paling dekat… hhmmm buah2an… mana nak cari yg dah siap bungkus cantik2 nih… mana ade… tetiba… Nampak florist!!! Owh… amoi tu kata buah beli sendiri… dia boleh bungkuskan hamper cantik2 sama bakul and riben2 skali… Cun!!.. mudah kerja aku… I went to Giant sebelah florist tu and bought few kinds of fruits… bagi kaler2 sket la baru cun… grapefruit… china pear… and buah nona??.. tak pernah makan… camna la rasanya… tp beli aje sbb bentuk dia unique and color maroon yg cantekk… heheheh… dengan cost tak sampai RM50… settle satu dulang!!!... Mak aiii… berat gak buah2 nih… dah la aku parking jauh… merengkek gak ler angkut hamper buah tu ke kereta… takpe… for my beloved adik ipar… there's nothing much I can do…. ini saje yg termampu kakNom buat… nanti Shan kawin… kakNom tak dapat nak balik tolong dah…. Huhuuh… syahdu la pulak…

Hhmm… berlegar2 kat Leisure Mall berejam la jugak nak cari ape lagi satu barang yg practical yg tak perlukan aku hias menghias bagai… mmg aku tak kuasa nak bercreativity… not my niche… kalo Hik ni mesti suka excited beria nak hias menghias ni… tp nak mintak tolong, Hik bz la pulak.. and mesti dia tak larat dah terboyot2 mcm tu… nak tempah… ahhh… dah tak sempat dah… esok dah nak bertolak… mcm mana nihh? Tetiba teringat Famous Amos yg Aerin kata ade kat Tesco tu… hahaha… ini sudah bagusss!!... Tp mcm mana nak gi eh? Tak ingat jln… hahahha…. Sesat barat makcik nak cari jalan masuk Tesco Cheras tu… bodo btul aku… maklumlah… dah bertahun tak drive kat KL nih… jalan pun dah berubah.

Alamakk.. ni ape hamper2 besar bagak siap berteddybear ni… tak sesuwaii langsung nak letak atas dulang!!!.... But jeng..jeng… Bangla yg jaga Famous Amos tu kata boleh customize, amik la ape2 yg suka dia boleh bungkuskan cantik2… aku pun apalagaaa… pilih box and packging yg cantik2, kasi masuk itu biskut Amos yg bermacam perisa… creative je adik Bangla tu bungkuskan jadi hamper chomel… siap hias bunga dan reben bagai… dan reganya tak sampai RM200 pun…. Hehehe… selamat RM400+ drp nak beli kurma Patchi yg mahal ituhhh!!! tapi hamper chomel adik bangla ni tak setarap la ngan kotak Patchi yg super elegant ituuu…. huhuhuh… but can do la for this bidan terjun event…

The rest of my day had been spent on my "things to do" list… pegi bank, post office, beli cake (birthday abaji today…), renew driving licence (hehehehe… rupanya aku drive smalam lesen dah mati… hehhehe…).. etc…. balik dah petang…. cought in the jam… sampai rumah… melepekkk!!!!! Tapi tak de chance lah nak melepek lama2… sbb lepas maghrib kitorang dah janji nak datang rumah Hik kat Shah Alam. Nak sambut Abaji's birthday kat sana… not for Abaji alone… tapi juga nak sambut birthday Mak Yayin, Haiat, Humairah, Muhammad and Umi Fatimah too. Abah beria datang ngan Umi… Haiatlah supirnya… siap gefren Haiat pun datang skali… alang2 dah berkumpul adik beradik, kitorang buat tahlil utk arwah Mak. Then acara menyambut birthday secara berjemaah!!!.. Happening sehh… Rena & Norman pun datang jugak… nak amik barang kiriman punye pasal, terjebak jugak dlm acara keluarga Hj. Kamarudin… hahahha…. Aku tak bleh berenti bercakap bila jumpa Rena… sedar tak sedar borak sampai 2 pagi. Abaji pun dah terbongkang kat living room… hhmmm… tido rumah hik je lah jawabnya malam tu… sehelai sepinggang…. Hanna sgt suka dpt tido sama kakak Humairah… clearly… when she has friends, she doesn't cling on me too much… tak langsung cari pasal ngan aku… and that's very relieving….

9 Oct – 20 Syawal

Packing dan bersiap utk ke Sg. Petani Kedah…. Rumah Pak Su. The plan was to overnight rumah Pak Su malam ni… dan esok "the big E day" for Shan… berconvoy bersama Pak Su pergi ke Pengkalan Hulu which the journey would take about 1 hour from Sg. Petani… fair enough la..

Tunggu Mak and Ayah sampai from Jengka… oh.. rupanya Mak dah ready ngan tepak sirih, dulang and alas dulang… and mcm2 condiments for makan sirih… and bunga rampai bagai… hhmmm kata nak buat informal je… perlu ke semua2 ni???… aku muskel… Mak kata last minute pihak perempuan telefon mintak bawa tepak sirih…. Mak & Ayah telah jadi kelam kabut cari pinang, sirih, gambir, tak tido malam tadi buat bunga rampai… Hmmm.. bab sirih mireh ni hakak tak dapek nolong eh… tp bab bunga rampai tu apsal la tak call aku?.. boleh aje aku rembat pot pouri cantik kat kedai 5 ringgit tu… tak yah le bersekang mata ricik daun pandan sampai ke malam…. senang keja!! ahh.. biarlah… ikutkan aje la adat Melayu yg aku rasa mcm takde faedahnye ni… Dalam Islam, nak berta'aruf mana ade requirement tepak sirih, hantaran2 dulang ni semua… aku rasa sgt menyusahkan… hhmmm… aku je la yg sendiri rasa…. (bukan melayukah aku ini??!!)… And I'm glad I didn't do it during my time… senang keja mak bapak aku… senang keja mak bapak dia… (yg sekarang ini telah menjadi mak bapak mertuaku lah… hehehehe….)

Around 4 pm kitorang bertolak dari KL… again it's a long 5 hours journey… bontot aku dah start kematu… this crampy feeling here and there especially at my lower abdomen… arghh.. banyak songeh la pulak… duduk diam2 sudah laa… Dah sampai Juru Pak Su called… dia insisted pi Penang… nak bawa makan Nasi Dalca…. Huhuuhuh… aku dah tak larat dah ni… I just wanted to sleep on the flat bed!!.. makan2 ni dah tak masuk kepala dahh… Mak and Abaji seemed reluctant to go until Penang, Ayah buat tak kisah… "Alahh.. tak jauh mana pun!! Dekat aja ni…", kata Pak Su. Untuk tidak menghampakan Pak Su, Abaji drove us merentasi Penang bridge for dinner nasi dalca…. Dah makan2… patah balik ke Sg. Petani and the rest was history… ZZZzzzzz….

10 Oct – 21 Syawal

Tengahari tu kitorang gerak bersama Pak Su's family in another car… met Shan dan rakan2 kat Pengkalan Hulu…. Kedatangan kami disambut mesra oleh keluarga Min… dimulakan dengan jamuan ringan kuih muih yg sedap itu… ramai giler sesedara dan kawan2 Min yg datang… hhmm… kata nak buat informal je… apsal la aku rasa ramai sgt nih??! And the ceremony started, Pak Su mmg bijak mengatur kata… cuma tak berpantun2 aje… bla..blaa.. gitu gini, Min pun keluar ngan shocking pink kurung moden and white veil… utk acara Mak menyarungkan cincin2 itu…. cantik bakal biras aku…. So sweet ok!! :) Dan kemudian disusuli dengan makan2 berat… fuhhh… mak Min is the restaurant owner… masak mmg sedap!! Menu ala2 kampung, masak lemak labu, gulai daging, sambal ikan tenggiri, sayur2an, sambal belacan, ikan masin… fuuhhh… aku makan tak pandang sesiapa… nyammm….nyaaammm….

Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. And after Asar, we went through 6 hours journey to get back to KL again… (again… montot ku kematu… dan sengal2 badan… owhh.. sungguh lemau aku inihh!!). Congrats Shan and Min!! Telah selamat menjadi tunangan… semoga tabah menempuh alam pertunangan… jaga diri baik2… Insyaallah, raya Cina thn depan selamat la korang diijabkabulkan…. Would we be witnessing thru the skype from NY??!!... Insyaallah… hehehehh….

11 Oct – 22 Syawal

Alamak…. Lagi 4 hari nak balik ni… rumah sesedara belum pegi lagi… umah Akim yg tak berapa kilometer pun tak sempat singgah lagi…. "A must contact friends list" pun sgt panjang…belum sempat nak call lagi… handbags and barang orang kirim pun ade lagi yg tak deliver ni…. Hhmmm takpe… Insyaallah sempat lagi ni… I'm gonna use these 4 days to the fullest!!... every hour… every minute…

Agenda pertama hari ni ke open house Sheli… owhh my x-neighbor… missing u and the kids so much!!... actually balik dari Jengka hari tu menyinggah kejap kat rumah Sheli nak ambik barang… tapi Aiman takde, still at school. Dapat jumpa Sheli and Danial je… felt so incomplete… lagi pun dah janji ngan Hanna nak jumpakan dengan Aiman. So I drove Hanna and Nenet to Sheli's house… seb baik aku ingat jalan… hehehe… Abaji ade urusan lain, so we had to make our own ways. Tak sangka, Aiman dah jadi sooo malu2… "She's not my girlfriend anymore…", cakap tersipu2.. sambil nyorok belakang Sheli… klakar betul budak ni… tak berapa minit lepas tu… anak aku pun dah join itu adik beradik main PSP kat atas… tak mau balik pulak tuh!!!.. Isykk… pujuk punye pujuk… kol 3 pm baru kitorang balik… jalan jammed on the way back. Hanna dah start menyanyi dan menjerit2 keboringan… ini lah M'sia nak… jalan jem sana sini tak kira masa… belum ade lagi subway yg fast and efficient utk ke rumah kita… so pls get use to it, ok??!!... mcm cacing kepanasan, dia bukak baju kurung yg 1^st time pakai tu… tinggal spender je… panas katanya, not comfortable… padahal aku dah bukak aircond full blast nih!!... Aduhh… seb baik bukak dlm keta… bukan bukak kat rumah Sheli…

The next house was to Bangi. Makcuana's house we went after Asar… rasa guilty kat Makcuana and family… dah lama balik M'sia baru skarang nak contact… Alhamdulillah, nasib baik sempat ziarah makcuana, my closest aunty which her children are my closest cousins. Seronok dapat jumpa balik… makan2 tak berenti… borak2… jumpa Aya kejap and the kids… jadi la.. sian Aya… mesti lama tunggu… Hik and family came after that, so bertambah meriah lah. Jumpa Ima and family, and Nadrah too… bila tgk Makcuana tetiba teringat arwah Emak… sayu hati… Al-Fatihah… time dulu2 our family and makcuana's family slalu berkumpul get together, holiday bersama or buat makan2 bersama… Emak and Makcuana always had sisters talk… and we the cousins always had sleepover… sgt best zaman tu… but those days are gone. Skarang semua dah kawin beranak pinak, busy ngan commitment masing2. Dah tak rapat mcm dulu lagi.

Lepas rumah makcuana, rumah Ima pulak… it's nearby. Aku dah tak boleh makan dah time ni, w/pun mee goreng itu Hik kata sgt sedap… aku rasa sgt penat sampai hilang apetite… tapi chocolate cake atas meja tu laju je masuk mulut aku. I felt so tired… fatigue… standard la beraya dari siang sampai ke malam… but I have to be energetic… I need to meet someone after this… Although tired, aku sgt happy dapat jumpa aunty, uncle and cousins. Tapi sangat penattttt!!!... owh.. kenapa penat sgt je rasa ni….

Hanna said she wants to sleepover kakak Humairah's house. Aku terkedu bila Abaji bagi green light. So Nenet and Hanna balik Shah Alam tido rumah Hik malam ni. Tinggal aku ngan Abaji dorang. Sebelum balik aku called Mnieza…. Oh la kawan… lamaaaa sgt tak jumpa. Ni ha henbeg cantek ko dah lama aku simpan. Rumah Mnieza kat area bangi jugak. Tp dah malam sgt nak dtg beraya rumah dia…. Aku tak ingat jalan sebenarnye… kehh…kehh… So we met at Bangi Kopitiam instead… borak2 kejap… Mnieza tak berubah langsung… tetap maintain cun cute miut macam dolu2… aku aje dah mengembang…. Again kitorang jumpa dan tak berenti bercakap… hahahha… she said I look good… iye2 je ko Mas!! Good??.. I don't know… but happy, definitely!!... I was happy inside out, glad that Allah bagi aku rezeki jumpa balik orang2 yg aku nak jumpa… tp Mas, ko tak tau aku sebenornya dah penat separa nak pengsan nihh…. Hahahha…. Aku harap aku sempat jumpa la semua orang dlm list yg aku nak jumpa ni… Insyaallah… esok masih ade…

Dah almost mid-night… Abaji taknak balik lagi… jom arr dating… heheheh… akak penat lerr… tp bila lagi… ni la peluang, Hanna takde ni… hehehe… kitorang main redah je Jusco cheras selatan tu… nak tgk wayang la ape lagi… citer ape?.. tak kisah la.. asal kan dpt dating ngan hubby chenta hatiku… Ahakssss… ade last show citer Surrogates… ok… boleh aje… So happy, dah lama tak berdating2an tgk wayang mcm tu… Teringat zaman Hanna baby dolu2… kitorang curi2 masa gak kuar midnite gi dating… tp tak bleh lama… sbb tetek aku bengkak Hanna nak susu… hahahhaah…. and those days are gone too… ehh… sentimental lak aku!!

Abih tgk wayang… best gak citer nih… abaji still tak nak balik lagi…. Aduhh yangggg…. I penat and ngantuk giler nihhh…. Abaji ajak lepak kat mapley Sg. Besi, our port pekena teh tarik and roti canai or nasi lemak tetiap kali gi pasar sejak kawin hingga la sebelum gi NY… ohh… nostalgic!!... :) Ok lah… aku ikut kan aje… biar pun letih… nak gak aku pekena teh tarik and kalo ade rezeki, sup mamak yg kaw2 itu mesti refreshing…. tp sup mamak dah abis daa… so ahkak minum ajer lah dekkk… tak larat dah nak makan lagi ponnn!!! Balik rumah dah lebih kul 2 pagi…. And lalalalalalaaaaa……. bahagiaaaaa….. ZZZzzzzzzzzzz :)

TRAGEDI OKTOBER!!...

12 Oct – 23 Syawal

Hari ni dan esok adalah peruntukan hari rakan2 sedunia… maybe buat surprise kat opes Mak Yan?.. hehehe… pastu nak kontek Fiqa set time nak dating… then drop by kat BNM kejap hantar barang kiriman mana2 yg tak hantar lagi tu… and say bye2 to BNM friends mana2 yg sempat jumpa nnti… hhmm… kekawan UKM tak kontek lagi… maunye sampai ke mlm nih… eh, tp malam ni kena gi rumah Mama Fakhir… hhmm… esok for UKM friends sempat kot…

Abaji woke me up for Subuh… huhh.. dia dah solat dulu tak tunggu aku rupanya. Haa, nak tido balik la tu. I went to the bathroom and suddenly… " Ehhh!! Ape nihh??!"… setitik… dua titik… tiga titik… WHATTT??!! IT'S BLOOD!!! Ya Allah… aku panicked mcm nak pengsan! I tried to calm myself down, clean up and solat… felt so shocked and scary sampai nangis teresak2 dalam solat… Abaji terbangun balik… confuse… "Apasal nih?" I told him I was bleeding. Dia yg mamai terus tercargas berubah muka and kitorang bergegas gi klinik.

Adoiii laaa…. Ramai la pulak org kat klinik pagi senin ni!!... Kitorang tunggu agak lama… aku yg akal berkecamuk cuba nak menenangkan hati… I tried to be positive… takde ape2 kot Insyaallah… Mak Yayin pun bleeding jugak… few friends had experienced bleeding time pregnant, but Alhamdulillah dia orang semua tu ok, selamat beranak and anak sihat walafiat. Aku cuba memujuk diri… but deep down inside rasa mcm ade sesuatu yg tak kena… Ya Allah… mintak2 la takde ape2… Aku tgk Abaji… dia terhengguk2 menahan ngantuk… Sian Abaji.. takpe la Yang… u tido la, nnti dah settle I kejut. I went into the doctor's room alone. Explained what happened and he got me scanned. Masa tgh scan tu dia tanya, "Hmmm… adik dah 10 minggukan?" Aku angguk. "Patutnye heart beat baby dah nampak ni. Ni takde… I'm sorry, dik.. but we have to wait and see. Kalau tak jadi dia akan keluar sendiri…", sambungnya. "WHAT??!!", aku terpekik and terus temeraung kat atas katil tu… sambil tunjuk pintu!!!... Nurse yg seolah2 tahu terus bukak pintu panggil Abaji. Doktor explained to him… aku dah tak kuasa nak dengar…

Dapat referral letter kitorang bergegas gi specialist. I took a peek at the letter. "MIS-ABORTION… for your further expertise, pls". Tgk perkataan abortion tu aku terus menangis dan menangis dlm keta tak berhenti… Abaji terus pujuk dan pujuk… doctor tu kata it's 50-50… kita mintak 2^nd opinion from gynae. Sampai kat gynae, ramai dah patients. Kena tunggu lagi… we decided hantar barang dulu kat bank. Jumpa Shimma… sorry dear… aku bukan tak nak lepak ngan ko… tp keadaan tak mengizinkan. Time ni sume plan nak jumpa kenkawan la, nak visit Mama Fakir la… suma lenyap tah ke mana… boleh la nak jumpa takat nak dengor aku melalak je nak wat pe kan… huhuuu…

Back to the Gynea in the afternoon. It's been almost 5 yrs since Hanna was born. Dia yg menyambutnye dulu… hhmm dah lain dah doctor ensem aku nih.. sudah nampak berumur dan agak kecut… opps!!.. hahaa… I took his name card, ohh… sudah jadi gynae oncologist skarang… and owhh… sudah dpt datukship skrang. Since when eh??.. ahh.. whatever lah… He got me scanned again on his more sophisticated machine. Dia enjut2 perut aku guna scanner on his hand. I saw the baby in the sack was bouncing up and down… and then SENYAP!!. No movement, no heartbeat although it was perfectly intact. "I'm sorry Hanum… Fairuz… memang dah takde dah… kalau ikut size ni baru je ni 3-4 hari lepas dah takde ni… again I'm soo sorry…". Ya Allah… ujian apekah ini??? Dan aku meraung lagi hampir ke tahap hysteria… dan dia and Abaji kelam kabut calming me down...

Kalau nak tunggu gugur secara natural tak tau bila. Lagi 3 hari nak balik nih.. utk mengelakkan keguguran and massive bleeding and kesakitan dalam plane, he advised me to do D&C tomorrow. He explained mmg keguguran bukan perkara yg luar biasa. Statistically, 25% of pregnant woman experience miscarriage. The actual cause of it mmg tak dapat nak dipastikan. Wallahualam… tp biasanya bila ade defect pada tumbesaran otak atau jantung janin, keguguran akan berlaku.

We fetch Hanna and Nenet at Hik's home. I told Nenet… and Nenet nangis.… I told Hanna, and Hanna was blur… tak lama lepas tu dia tanya balik, "Mommy… why the baby died??". Dan aku menjadi speechless. Cuma air mata je tumpah meleleh2 tak boleh berenti. Baru minggu lepas aku cakap kat dia ade baby dlm tummy. Masa tu dia tantrum mengada-ngada bergaduh ngan aku sampai nak tendang2. She was calmed a bit dan kurang sket tantrumnye when I told her about my pregnancy. Dia peluk pulak aku lepas tu. Hmm… mesti Hanna tengah confuse skarang. She kept asking me why and why, and just wanted to keep her mouth shut, I said, "Maybe Mommy forgot to make doa to Allah to save the baby…" :(

I told Hik about it. She was shocked tapi cuba memujuk and gave me words of encouragement. Hik told me about her experience of miscarriage… dia cerita Ima pun pernah kena… makcuana pun… Well, as if like telling me… "Hey, don't be sad… benda biasa, u r not alone… ramai orang yg kena la… it's gonna be ok." Tah la Hik… maybe ko punye situation dulu ngan aku punye situation skarang tak sama kot?!

13 Oct – 24 Syawal

It's surgery day today… scheduled at 1.00 pm. Tp aku dah start kena check-in kat Day Care kol 11.00 am. Melanguk la atas katil, Abaji teman… I was emotionally imbalance. Kejap ok… kejap murung… kejap nangis... pastu Abaji wat lawak jd ok balik… hhmmm… time ni terasa lambat sgt masa berlalu. Aku keboringan terus sms beberapa sesedara dan kekawan terdekat, mintak diorang doakan… tp aku tak sanggup nak call tok ba'ah nak bagi tau… sure dia sedih giler. I called Rena too tanya camna experience dia masa D&C dulu, and her response was very relieving… borak2 ngan Rena sampai la aku disorong atas katil masuk OT. Alamakk… nervousnye!!.. Ya Allah, lindungilah aku dari segala perkara yg tak baik.

Tunggu turn aku dlm tu lama jugak… sejam lebih aku tunggu terlantar atas katil tu… aku cuba bertenang… tp gagal. Aku beristighfar dan selawat banyak2… tiba2 rindu kat emak membuak2!!.. Teringat aku time2 teman dia operation dulu, masuk chemoport… emak kata dia sgt takut, rasa mcm nak bunuh diri pun ade! Begitu beratnye penderitaan emak. Air mata aku ni terus laju je mengalir… aku tak dapat menahan kesedihan. Doctor anesthetic tu pujuk… "It's ok adik… jgn takut… sekejap lagi your gynae datang". Hhmm… saya tak takut le… saya sgt sedih je ni… saye rindu emak saya le… aku kata dlm hati je la. Tak lama pastu gynae pun dtg and diorang pindahkan aku kat operation table, "So Hanum, mcm mana? Banyak bleeding ke?" Alahaii kenapa la ko tanya… aku jadi lagi syahdu ternangis teresak2 sambil menjawab, "Takde, just a few drops je semalam. And I tak rasa sakit ape pun… are u sure doctor?.. I rasa mcm ade lagi la… tanak try scan lagi ke?... huhuhuu", tersedu2 aku nk tahan nangis. Doctor senyum menyembunyikan muka bengang dia… aku rasa jawapan tu aku mempertikaikan credibility dia. Slow je dia cakap, "Dah takde dah… awak sabar lah ye…"

I was put to sleep while I was crying. And I found myself still crying when I was awakened. Aku disorong semula kat Day Care. Nampak Abaji… aku cuba utk senyum, tapi tangisan pulak yg keluar… huhuhu… Ya Allah…. Hanum… tolong la berenti menangis. I couldn't control myself. Segala perasaan bercampur aduk… oh, macam ni rupanya rasa bila miscarriage. Aku dulu masa kecik2 (zaman remaja) pernah tgk orang sedih sebab keguguran. Masa tu dlm hati aku kata apasal la nangis beria2 ni. Mcm la tak leh mengandung lagi. Kan boleh terai lagi lain kali… Tp itu dulu sebelum kawin… masa tu belum pernah rasa mcm mana susahnye nak pujuk hubby utk dptkan baby… And tak pernah merasa depress menunggu lama utk mengandung semula… dan aku masa tu tak pernah menjangka akan merasa tekanan sekeliling terutama dari mak bapak mertua yg tak sudah2 bertanya dan mengeluh depan mata kenapa laa tak mengandung-ngandung lagi menantu aku niiii??!!!

Terasa disayangi, ramai yg call and sms lepas tu bagi kata2 semangat, doa, bertanya khabar, ask me to stop crying dan suruh aku redha. Tp tak ramai yg tahu that I've been persuading Abaji to get the 2^nd child for 1 ½ years, since Hanna was 2. Abaji ade alasannya tersendiri tidak bersetuju sehinggalah Hanna 3 setengah thn. And it took us another 1 ½ years trying to get pregnant again… it took me almost 3 years all together sehingga aku jadi sangat desperado utk mendapatkan anak!!!!... Untuk itu aku rasa aku patut utk merasa extra sedih dengan kehilangan ini sebagaimana extra happynya aku semasa mendapat berita gembira sebulan yg lalu. Aku tau ni semua ujian Allah terhadap aku. Aku bukan tak redha dan bukan nak menangis forever pun… I just wanted to understand and acknowledge my feelings. Now I know it's normal to feel shock, grief, depression, guilt, anger, difficult, pain and a sense of failure and vulnerabilty when you lose a pregnancy. Tapi tetiba aku teringat Kak Yanti, teringat Ujie…. Teringat Kak Hasmah, teringat Mak Yan… teringat Kak Nor, teringat Rena… Ape yg aku alami ni sebenarnya mmg tak sehebat ujian Allah ke atas mereka… Astaghfirullah… ya Allah… ampunkan aku…. Aku patut lebihkan bersyukur dan kurangkan menangis…

Disaat aku sangat2 menginginkan anak… disaat aku hampir mengalah… disaat aku sudah hampir lupa bagaimana rasanya mengandung… Allah campakkan kembali rasa2 itu kepadaku… And Masyaallah… Subhanallah… it felt sooo good, felt so loved, so blessed, so great… the feelings that words cannot describe… and I treasured those special moments and wonderful feelings that God has lent to me althought it was for just 10 weeks. Alhamdulillah… Thank you Allah. Isn't HE the GREATEST??!

14 Oct – 25 Syawal

For the first time ever, since our arrival for Hari Raya Holiday in Malaysia, I got to sleep for 10 hours straight without disturbance (or partly because of kesan bius semalam?!). I felt fresh and light headed. My emotion was more stable today but I still avoided receiving phone calls yg agak2 boleh membuatkan aku kebanjiran air mata lagi. I was on pain killer so apparently I didn't feel any pain or discomfort but I was advised to take plenty of rest and jangan renyah??.. So I excused myself from packing barang2 nak balik esok… Abaji dan Nenet berhempas pulas menyumbat barang dlm luggages (ration dapur la yg banyak nye…). Pastu baru teringat ade lagi barang tak beli…

Tengok aku relax semacam je, petang tu Abaji ajak aku shopping barang seround lagi. Aku on aje (terpaksa la kan sbb dia and nenet tak pandai shopping)…Tp bila time nak berjalan aku rasa tak confident, so I walked like a turtle… owh, ngilu rupanya kalau jalan mcm biasa… no wonder la… Abis shopping terus ke rumah Nana, nak say bye2… seperti biasa Hanna kena gomol tak bleh lepas la ngan moyangnye itu… Tengah duduk lepak2 tu, Nana pun bersuara, "You know Fairuz,… I see ur daughter is already big… I think it's about time for u to get another child. Bole buat main sama Hanna." GULPP!!!... Adoila… podih punye statement!! Abaji and me saling berpandangan… muka aku dah berubah… sgt sensetip ok time2 nih!! Abaji trying to explain to Nana on what happened to me recently, but this old man approaching his 90's already… his hearing tak berapa bagus dah (and refuses to use hearing aid). So aku kata nevermind la yang… tak yah cerita dah… cakap je we are trying and ask him to doa for us.

Lepas tu kitorang pekena sup Pelita with Faizal, Fadhli and Aunty Shidah… baekk punya sup mamak… not available in NYC okeh… these cousins are very good in cheering me up. Ade je benda nak wat lawak… After kenyang perut suka hati, terus balik rumah… tunggu Tini nak dtg. Ohh lahh Tini… lama gilaaa tak jumpa… almost 12 years already babe!!!... terror la laki ko cari rumah aku di ceruk bukit nih…. Alaa.. ade GPS bole la…. Aku sgt happy jumpa Tini… jadi la walaupun kejap. Yg penting renbeg rantek bertukar tangan… hahahah!!! And malam tu sudah tido lambat! Tak dapek la nak mengulangi tido 10 jam straight mcm smalam!!

AND THE JOURNEY CONTINUES…

15 Oct – 26 Syawal

Flight malam… tapi kena bangun pagi okehh…. Ade appointment ngan gynea. Dia nak chek sebelum aku balik… mentang2 guna GL…saje la tu nak charge extra coz dia gak yg cakap, normally lepas seminggu d&c baru chek balik. Ini baru 2 hari la encikk…. Bok..bek..bok..bek… bagi consultation, ubat and supliment sikit2, kitorang say bye2 kat doctor and terus blah gi pekena nasi lemak Kg. Baru. Pantang??... semua orang suh pantang… Cuma gynea aku kata tak yah pantang… Aku??.. agak2 la jugak… hehehe…

Balik rumah and buat last minute packing… Ya Allah… serabut gila dgn 8 biji luggage, 4 biji hand-carry. Tapi aku Cuma packing satu je… hehehe… baju aku ngan baju abaji… hehehe… aci tak?.. Ye la… kata tak leh renyah… Aku tengok abaji dah mcm buruh kasar… peluh berjurai2… muka tension… nak kasi muat semua barang… oopss… terlebih muatan kah??.. oh aku tak kuasa nak peduli. Lepas asar kitorang bertolak ke KLIA. Rupa2nya Baah, Along and Aunty Nailah dah lama tunggu kat sana. Diorang dah tau aku miscarriage, tah sapa bitau tah. Aku peluk Baah… dan nangis….

Sayang gile kat atuk aku nih!.. Aku tgk Baah… huhuu… gila tabah wanita tua ini. Diuji Allah dengan pemergian suami dikala usia yg sgt muda… 25 thn dah jadi janda (erkk.. aku 25 thn lom kawen lagiks!). Rela hidup solo membesarkan anak2… sampai anak2 dia pun dah tua… diuji lagi tahun lepas dengan pemergian salah seorang anaknya… (Arwah mak aku la tu…). Ya Allah, alangkan aku yg kehilangan anak dlm kandungan yg aku tak pernah jumpa ni pun, dah rasa mcm nak gila dah. Inikan pulak Tok Baah yg menyusuri her mid 80's (umur IC, actual age aku tak tau… maybe lagi tua…) dah hidup berpuluh tahun ngan anak… sayangnya tak terperi… hancur luluh jiwa menyaksikan anaknya menderita sakit… sehingga kehujung nyawa. Aku ingat lagi hari tu, sampai semua orang dah balik dari kubur mak aku lepas kebumi, dia tak balik2 lagi…. Sangat cool and calm baca ayat2 suci sampai ke petang… Huhuhuhu…. Ya Allah, bolehkah aku setabah itu??...

It's departure time, alamak… jauhnye terminal aku nak jalan… aku yg masih berjalan mcm kura2… terasa ngilu di ari2. Adoila… abaji lupa nak request wheelchair (which I also thought I didn't need it). That's it! Sampai transit kat S'pore and then kat Frankfurt until masuk keta nak balik ke Manhattan… I was on the wheelchair!!... Sgt terasa hopeless and helpless okeh!!.. :(

26 jam berlalu… terasa sangat sejuk sampai JFK airport… umang aiii 4 degree celcius! Patut laa… Sampai kat rumah tepat kol 12 noon… Aku tak tunggu lama, terus tido tak ingat dunia. Bukan aku aje rupanya… semua orang telah terbongkang tido, aku bangun dah kol 2 pagi… then Hanna and Abaji bangun, then nenet bangun… malam dah jadi siang… siang dah jadi malam… jet lagged berterusan sehingga 2 minggu kemudian (kecuali Abaji, dia cepat recover sbb kena gi opes!)

To all friends and families… thanks for asking, thanks for your concern. I don't really know to answer why and how did it happen. But basically, that was it.

And THE MYSTERY Resolved... =)

2009-11-13T23:27:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah... segala puji hanya layak untuk MU tuhan pentadbir sekelian alam...

Penantian yg menyebabkan segala rasa resah, risau, takut, cuak, gabra, gubra, gelabah, suspense etc..etc... telah berakhir...

My MRI result - CLEAR!!... :)

And my doctor has concluded that the surgery is not necessary - BUT... I have to attend the follow-up at least every 6 months. Tidak mengapalah... asalkan sihat... :)

Untuk itu setinggi-tinggi kesyukuran dipanjatkan ke hadrat Ilahi di atas segala kurnia limpahan kasih sayang, ujian dan rahmatnya yg sentiasa mengingatkan saya akan erti dan tujuan hidup yg bersifat sementara ini...

Terima kasih kepada semua yang mendoakan... saya amat menghargainya. Semoga Allah merahmati kalian semua...

Sekarang tiadalah alasan utk tidak boleh focus kepada assignment yg berlambak itu ye Puan Hanum... Owh... exam tinggal sebulan lagi... tsk..tsk..tsk...

Mystery...

2009-11-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

My OB/GYN cannot conclude the 'thing' at my cervix... the ultrasound / sonogram didn't tell much about it...

Need to do MRI (lah pulakk??) this weekend before they can solve this mystery... and it left me in misery... aduii tired...

And I need to do the hormonal test again!!!.. dah berapa tube daa darah aku dia ambik... apparently my pregnancy hormon is still high... (aikk??!! dah tak merandung pun high jugak?)

I took a peek at the referral letter... "Endometrial polyp vs Endo mass"????.... apekahh???

Whatever the result is... janganlah cancer!!... ya Allah... tolong lah...

Semalam Di Malaysia...

2009-10-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

Semalam di Malaysia...
Suka duka bersatu rasa...
Terselit syukur di dalam tawa...
Terbit insaf di dalam tangis...
Selagi aku bergelar insan di bumi ini...
Selagi itulah selayaknya aku diuji...
Segala puji hanya untuk Mu ya Allah...
Menghampar seribu hikmah di lantaian musibah...
Dan segalanya kepada Mu aku berserah... PASRAH...

My post D&C check up reveals that I have polyps that need to be removed... means that I have to undergo for surgery again :(

It's benign and 99% non cancerous. I just had all the screening and tests for further diagnose early this week. And until the results came out, that 1% left me nothing but to worry...

Tapi saya YAKIN dengan janji Allah...
DIA sesekali tidak akan menguji di luar kemampuan hambaNya...

I loss my mom last year...
I loss my unborn child this year...
I don't know what's coming next...
But yet the countless goodness and blessings He has poured on me are endless...
Feeling tiny and helpless...
I should have been more thankful to Him...
Rather than grieving in anxiety...

Rezeki

2009-09-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Ibarat bulan jatuh ke riba :)

I'm super excited til speechless!!!...

SYUKUR ALHAMDULILLAH yang tidak terhingga... hanya itu yg terungkap...

Kerinduan dalam kerisauan...

2009-09-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm in deep emo right now... mix feeling of going back to Malaysia in a week time. Yes... so excited nak balik raya, jumpa everyone... but so sad I can no longer see and hug her forever. It's a huge lost in my life. Rindu yg tak boleh nak digambarkan... especially time2 Ramadhan ni... lagi la tangkap leleh bila layan lagu "My Mom is Amazing" nih... owh... sangat syahdu...

But I keep reminding myself she's my mom, but not my belonging. She belongs to Allah and I belong to Allah too. Everything in this world is a loan from God, when the time is up, it will be taken away.

Yes... she'll always be missed and always be remembered. Al-Fatihah...

What's important for me now is to focus on what has been granted to me. Agak terkilan dgn pengisian Ramadhan kali ini terlalu banyak dengan shopping dan agenda duniawi. Sedar2 dah towards the end of Ramadhan... huhuhuu.... May Allah forgive my sins and protect my journey home... nak balik ni... risau tak packing lagi... risau online orders tak sampai lagi ni... risau CIFP assignment berlambak... (sebulan definitely gone nak berfoya2 di M'sia... sempat ke siap??)... risau makcik kena duduk econ class sorang2 (dah le tak pandai cakap omputeh)... risau SIA boleh ke remind waktu solat mcm dlm MAS??... risau H1N1... hhmm biasanya Emak lah tempat meluahkan rasa dan kerisauan... :(

Congratulations Abah :-D

2009-08-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive and kicking... Alhamdulillah. Would like to post some summer events that I had recently after exam, but that can wait...

What's more important now is for me to jot down in my blog the significant event in our family. The most recent news fresh from oven... from Malaysia. We are getting a STEP MOMMY!!! Alhamdulillah, Abah selamat bernikah kat pejabat Qadhi petang tadi, Jumaat, 21 Ogos 09 bersamaan 30 Shaaban 1430. And they are waiting for our arrival to arrange for reception.

Congratulations Abah :). I'm so happy for you!!.. May Allah bless your marriage with hikmah, mawwadah & rahmah. Dan semoga perkahwinan ini lebih mendekatkan lagi Abah pada Allah. Insyaallah... Aminnn...

Teringat pesanan arwah Mak masa sakit hari tu... "kalau abah nak kawin, bagi la.. tak baik ditahan2.." Owh... Mak sememangnye the most loving and the coolest person in the world!!!... rinduuu kat mak akuu....arrrr....

I have yet to know Abah's new wife in person... I don't even know her name. Insyaallah, raya ni boleh la berkenalan. What I know is she's from Kesang, a 45 years old teacher and ade 4 orang anak yg sudah remaja. Tak kisah la kan sapa pun dia... yg penting dia seorang yg beriman dan boleh jaga abah aku dengan baik... dan yg terpaling penting... harapnya dia bukan species Mak Tiri citer Sinderella or Bawang Putih Bawang Merah... Kalo tak... MakNem & Pak At are ever ready utk buli anak2nye... lalalala :)

Thanks Rena :)

2009-07-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

Hehehehe.... Kasut ala2 terompah gediks ini telah ditaja oleh Rena Norman (Norman itu laki dia... bukan abah dia...). Aku sesaje je terai, sekali dah melekat kat kaki ni terperasan sangat cantik plak!!.. Bertambah la cantik kasut nih bila tetiba je ko announce nak blanje. Aku tau Rena, ko agak kaciwa kan sbb tinggal satu saiz je... and saiz aku lak tu... hehehe... Anyway, thanks a lot dear!!!... I like!!!...

Oh... saya sangat suka with this brown Montego Bay Club high street chic platform, feeling Heidi Klum gracing on the Victoria Secret runway show bila memakai kasut ini (hehehe... verangan...). 4 inches above the sea level saya terasa sgt tinggi okey... hampir mencecah tahap bahu Abaji!!!... Being no. 1 fan of pumps and high heels dek kerana 'ketinggianku yg terlampau', I used to have dozens (or more??!) of heels for work which I no longer put them on since I officially be the NYC pedastrian for the past 2 years. Skarang ni akak main belasah flats and flip-flop aje turun naik subway dan berjalan 2-3 batu. But the average shoes collection which I had for work was 3" heel. Rena sponsor ni kira paling tinggi la ni... jgn terpeleot sudah... hahahah!!

To Rena & Norman, it was nice having u hear. U guys take care and have safe journey home. Semoga ukhwah yg baru terjalin ini akan kekal hingga ke akhir hayat, insyaAllah. Aku doakan korang murah rezeki, bleh dtg sini lagi thn depan... belanja aku lagi... lalalalala...

Celebration of LoVe...

2009-07-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you Allah, for have given us the strength and patience, and love and passion, for all these years to confront our fears and worries, to control our anger and fury, to forgive and forget, and for us to accept and cherish each other unconditionally for what and who we are as a husband and wife...

Thank you Allah, for giving me the stress-free life here... rewarding with relaxation and contentment, and yet presenting signs and reminders to fulfill our duty as Your slaves... my conflictless life over here makes our love grow stronger...

Thank you Allah, for lending him another year for me. I pray that Allah will continue to lend him to me, full with love and care... till death do us part. And insyaAllah, we will meet again in the Hereafter and continue celebrating our love, of life after death in Heaven... Ameen...

Happy 6th Anniversary Sayang... I love U.

4th of July Fever...

2009-07-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Sangat meriah ok... US Independence Day together with celebration of 400 year of New York exploration along Hudson river. The fireworks spectacular non-stop for 26 mins featuring more than 40,000 shells exploding at a rate of more than 1,500 per minute... mmg lenguh tengkuk mendongak ke langit dan berpinar2 biji mata melihat keindahannya. Abaji being very the good boy tak mau pegi dengan alasan nak buatkan assignment. He that hates crowds tak bagi Hanna ikut. Sian anak mak.. Hanna tengok dalam tv je la ye. So mak pergi la berpoye2 ngan Uncle Hamid and Aunty Wan :)

Seperti biasa... acara membeli belah pada hari sebelumnya tetap berlangsung tetapi dalam keadaan hujan renyai... seb baik tak lebat... dan inilah hasil tangkapan Classic Coach yg tah bila hakak nak upload dlm "Original For Less" memandangkan tahap kemalasan diriku tahap gaban!!

Sedar tak sedar, assignments deadline for this short semester tinggal tak berapa hari lagi... and I haven't started anything yet!!!... Arrgghh!!!.. tacuttt... kecut peyuttt...

Doa Hanna...

2009-06-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

One day after solat...

Hanna: Mommy, can u doa for me? I don't know how to doa like u...

Mak: U can doa yourself Hanna, anything u want, in your own way... Allah can hear u... Allah sayang Hanna...

Hanna: (sambil angkat tangan berdoa)... Ya Allah ya tuhan ku.... I want a big brother... and please give my mommy a baby...

Aku tersepuk di sejadah... sayu... teringat balik hari2 sebelumnya... dia tanya kenapa dia takde brothers and sisters mcm orang lain. Hanna is lonely... dia nak abang utk bermain. I guess she misses both Danial and Aiman yg dah balik Malaysia for good few months ago. She was very closed to those boys. I said to her she cannot have an "abang" since she's my first child (and the only child until now... :( ). I said Mommy and Abaji are trying to give her adik instead. But it's all up to Allah's will, and I asked her to keep on doa with me... tak tersangka pulak doa itu yg terkeluar dari mulut dia.

Mula mengenal dunia semenjak 2 tahun lepas bersama dua beradik ini - Danial & Aiman

Been trying for 14 months now... after several screenings and check up procedures, my gynecology said that I'm healthy. What more can I say.... we can only plan, but Allah is the GREATEST planner. Will keep trying and trying until He says "Kun fa ya kuun"....

Semoga doa Hanna dimakbulkan dengan segera... Amiinn...

23 Forever??...

2009-06-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

I am 'thirty-something' now. Owhh... Mengapakah aku terasa seperti 23 sentiasa??.... kehh... kehhh... geli!!!..

Apa2 pun syukur pada Allah, dengan kehidupan dan rezeki yg mencurah2 selama 32 thn ni. Of course there were always ups and downs, thicks and thins through out the journey of my life in the making of what and who I am now.

Walaupun saya sentiasa perasan muda... saya sebenarnya sudah tua. Umur saya bukan semakin panjang... malah semakin pendek menghampiri mati setiap hari dari setahun ke setahun!! Dan itu amatlah mengerikan saya sbb "Amal Makruf Nahi Mungkar" saya masih tak ke mana!! Jadi bagaimanakah saya boleh nak bersuka2 setulus hati nak nyayi lagu tema puja umur "Happy Birthday to You", tiup lilin dan potong kek la bagai?!!... seperti yg dipersoalkan oleh anak kesayangan saya... "Why there's no party for you, Mommy?". And I just simply said... "Grown ups don't do birthday party like kids do", malas nak explain pepanjang.

Membuat kebaikan mungkin lebih senang daripada mencegah kemungkaran, tapi... adakah saya betul2 ikhlas dan berserah kepada Allah apabila ber'Amal Makruf'?? Dan bab2 Nahi Mungkar ni yg payah sket nak tinggal... apa lagi nak mencegah dan mengubahnya?!!... Walaubagaimana pun saya tetap bermujahadah dalam berAmal Makruf Nahi Mungkar. And that's the purpose of life, indeed. To submit wholeheartedly to the one and only Allah. Insyaallah, akan cuba sebaik mungkin utk jadikan teladan mana yg elok, dan jadikan sempadan mana yg tak elok, dan tidak mengulangi kesalahan dan dosa2 silam.

Ketika ini saya dapat rasakan apa yg arwah emak rasa when we celebrated her 56th birtday, 4 years ago - a month after her mastectomy procedure. She cried when we brought the cake and sang to her and she said, "Sedih (kena cancer, sapa tak sedih...) dan syukur Allah bagi mak idup tahun ni... mak tak tau dapat hidup lagi ke tahun depan." Dan dia menjalani hidup dengan penuh berhikmah 3 tahun selepas itu sebelum pulang ke Rahmatullah pada tahun lepas. Walaupun saya sihat walafiat, masih adakah tahun depan untuk saya? Atau 3 tahun berikutnya??.. Apa yg terjadi adalah hikmah untuk saya... dan juga hikmah utk kakak saya Hikmah, abang2 saya Hamka dan Hakim, dan adik2 tersayang Heikal, Hanim dan Haiat dan sesiapa yang mengambil pengajaran daripadanya. Ketika ini juga saya terasa amat rindu kat diorang, abah saya, tok Baah saya, ipar duai dan anak2 sedara saya yg sangat hensem, cantik dan juga best itu.... Alahh.. ni yg saya malas ni... mesti saya terkememeh menangis bila mengingatkan diorang... ke saya nak period agaknye... sgt emotional, ok!!

Tidak berniat menyambut besar2an, hari jadi saya dan hari jadi Agong pada hari sebelumnya telah pun dipenuhi dengan acara makan2 secara besar-besaran di Mission and house warming party kat rumah Head of Tourism M'sia di Forest Hill. So, special dine Abaji and me tidak dapat diteruskan pada tahun ini sbb perut saya sudah bloated dan buncit dek kerana makan sedap dengan banyaknye!!! Tetapi seperti biasa tradisi bertanyakan "nak hadiah ape?" tetap berlangsung dengan jayanya... kehh...kehhh... Yeah!! we've made a plegde - no surprise present for both of us. Sebab masing2 mempunyai cita rasa yg berlainan dan berubah dari masa ke semasa. Nanti kang, salah beli prezen ade yg kecik hati kang kalau tak suka/pakai/guna. Cukuplah Hanna dengan full of surprises everyday :)

As I've developed a new interest on crystal lately... tah ape symptom penyakit duniawi aku ni tah... hakak sangat la terbekenan dengan Waterford Lismore vase yg anggun itu... tetapi reganya hakak tak sampai hati lak nak mintak kat Abaji. So, buat masa ni akak kena la mengdown-gradekan nafsu dengan membeli Adelaide vase from Mikasa Crystal. Workmanship cantik, kualiti yg elok dan harganya sgt berpatutan sempena Summer Sale ini... I LIKE!!!... kalo takde sale... berpuasa la aku gamaknyerr...

Inspired by Kak Gee the Super Mom a.k.a Minah Bunga, I got myself a bunch of red roses. Ape ke mahal bebenor le bunga2 ni. But the aura from these fresh flowers memang betul2 terkesan pada diri... Rasa best, and fresh and calm... hhmmm lovely!! My mood is always good when looking and smelling these flowers. Thank you Abaji for sponsoring all these... Mari kita kaji berapa lama dapat bertahan bunga2 ni especially when being poked by Hanna everyday... hahhaa... dengki btul!!

Articulative Enough, Am I ?!

2009-06-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... 1000x.... Infinity....

I got my result, the best ever CIFP result I've gotten so far... with FLYING COLORS i might say... almost straight A's (ya.. almost... ade satu je B kali ni). Mcm tak caya... sbb rasa mcm susah sgt hari tu, w/pun blh jawab... tp itu lah dia. Berkat doa orang2 tersayang di sini mahu pun di Malaysia, tunjuk ajar Abaji yg tak pernah komplen akan ke'lemau'an dan kesengalan ku ini, usaha yg last minute kebanyakannye... dan tawakal. Syukur yang tidak terhingga. Tersangat amat merasa kerdil dan hina dina aku ini... tapi Allah kurnia dan terus kurniakan, beri dan terus memberi ape yg aku mintak. Semoga kurniaan dan pemberian ini berserta dgn rahmat dan redhaNya... janganlah Dia memberi dengan murkaNya kerana aku selalu alpa... leka... dan berdosa... Moga syukurku pendekatkan lagi aku padaNya.

But the journey is still long way to go. Straight A's belum boleh menjamin apa2!! Apa gunanya kalau hanya pandai menjawab soalan di atas kertas. But the real challenge is in my everyday life, when people surrounding ask me ... initiating, participating, answering, clarifying, influencing... in conversation... in dialog... in debate... not only Islamic Finance subject per se, but Islam as a whole!!.. Hhmm... banyak gak rakan2 non-Muslim kat sini tanya... aku jawab... aku clarified... tp dlm hati aku tak puas hati ngan jawapan aku. Rasa mcm tak lengkap, tak complete... tak lancar... dan paling tak best aku rasa aku tak dapat nak menyampaikan dan memahamkan diorang bahawa Islam itu cantik dan sempurna seperti mana yang aku faham. I AM NOT ARTICULATIVE ENOUGH!!!! Obviously sifat Tabligh dlm diri memang terasa jauh sekali. Sifat Nabi yang satu ini memang bukan senang nak aquire skillnye. Apatah lagi dengan cetek ilmu dan amal mcm aku ni. But no... as at now aku tak berupaya /tak sanggup nak join 'orang2 Tabligh' yg bermacam2 group kat luar sana tu.

Ape2 hal pun aku kena dakwahkan hati dan diri sentiasa. I'm getting into CIFP part II (building the skill after building the knowledge in Part I). As I go along, I pray to Allah to give me strength and consistency in striving to be the better me. So that I can articulately conveying the beauty of Islam at least to my circle of influences, if not to the world.

Hot Summer Scene!!

2009-05-31T06:45:00.000-07:00

Summer is here.. Yeayy.. after long cold winter and spring. Now, Central Park looks so GREEN... i like!!... As usual kitorang pergi melepak lah kat CP.

Acara melompat atas batu... Nenet lah juaranya...

Anak aku menyorok... dia telah menjadi camera-shy lately... tah apsal tah...

Best jer.. nyaman jer... relax jer.... TAPI... yg tak bestnye tu... banyak pulak 'pencemaran' alam... yg boleh mempengaruhi minda kanak2 di bawah umur... dan jugak orang2 tua yg tak kuat iman... Acara membogelkan diri telah bermula... tskk...tskk..tskkk!! :(

Fanass... fanasss... fanasss... Abaji tak berani nak zoom in snap gambar2 ni... u segan ngan i ke Yangg?.. kui..kuii.... Abaji yg kuat iman hanya snap scene2 yg agak sopan... yg lebih 'menyerlah' aku pun tak beranik nak upload... takut mendapat rating 'unsuitable content' lak kang blog nih....

Membaling ke Longkang...

2009-05-31T05:39:00.000-07:00

Bz... bz... Original For Less has been reactivated... so hakak bz sket la wat shipping and handling, and amik order bla..blaa... tak jenguk2 pun blogku ini... mahu pun blog rerakan yg lain... Di tambah lak ngan Hanna yg ala2 dengki aje kat aku bila pegang keyboard ni... ade je kes dia nak buat!! Ala...kalo dah malas mengapdet tu... mmg mcm2 alasan la kan.

Sabtu lepas... tak pepasal kena main bowling. Mmg la Abaji ade cakap hari tu, "U nak main bowling tak?.. Org2 Mission ajak ni." mission = M'sian Consulate and UN . Aku anggukkan jer la... sonot gak dah lama tak main bowling... dah 3-4 thn gak kot?? Lagi pun aku selalu meng'kera sumbang'kan diri di kalangan kelompok M'sia kat sini. Sekali tu... rupa2nye kena masuk TOURNAMENT daaa.. haaa... haaa.. haaa... haruuuu!! Aku bukan membowling... tp membaling... membaling ke longkang!!!

And what a small world... kat situ jumpa balik member lama zaman English course dulu... dan skarang sudah berbini lah... Baekk punye member... geng huru hara!! Dan dia telah kelihatan amat bersopan setelah 14 thn tak jumpa... mcm tak perchaya dgn kehuruharaan yg mamat ni pernah buat masa kat English course dulu!

Mlm esoknye ade dinner ngan orang2 Mission tu... dan acara penyampaian hadiah and lucky draw la bagai... And aku dpt 3rd last... seb baik tak tercorott... Iqbal ngan Hamid pun haru gakk.. Abaji jer yg score ok sket... tp tak menang pon... Tak kesah la kan. Yg penting we all had fun!! Pastu esoknye.. sakit satu badan... Arrgghh!!.. syok membaling punye pasal, kenyang longkang lane aku main tu... asik makan bola jer... kehh..kehh..kehh...

Dinner @ Mission... bersama budak bermuka monyok... Hanna tak bleh bwk majlis la... kol 9.00 mlm dah suh ajak balik... aisehh...

Live Update from Durham, NC - Part 2

2009-05-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

Tu laaa... hakak dah cakap, tak yah ikut... Abaji nak ikut jugak.... kan dah hakak tak dpt shopping lelama.... dpt 2 jam je 'memancing' kat Carolina Premium Outlet, ini je la hasil yg dapat... 7 biji COACH dan beberapa personal merchandise Abaji yg lain.... seb baik kedai dah nk tutup... kalo tak bocor la pocket Abaji hakak kerjakan...

Mmg tak puas le kalau nak diikutkan sebab sempat round tak sampai 1/3 je drp keseluruhan outlet... tp tak terkilan la sbb my personal favorite Patchwork, metalic Carly and evening wristlet Coach tu hakak dpt sambar!!!... yeaahaa!!! I LIKE!!!... Tungguuu..... malas betul la aku nak update kat "Original For Less".... sbb rasa mcm nak pakai sendiri semua nihh.... kehhh...kehhhh....

Meng'camwhoring' dlm bilik sensorang sementara menunggu Abaji balik....

So Typical... But yet so SPECIAL :)

2009-05-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

I received this from my little one for Mommy's Day. Her hand-made flower from recycle stuff that she made during playgroup project. Nampak mcm biasa2 aja, tp aku yg menerimanya rasa penuh bermakna... so special especially when she gave it to me whole-heartedly with cheers and excitement on her face saying "Mommy... I have a surprise for u... Taddaaa... and it's your favorite color..."

Pergghh... my heart melted again! Last year she gave me her self-made Mother's Day card, and now the flower... :D ... Isn't it very rewarding to be a mother?... I'm sure every mother out there rasa seronok bila dpt something drp anaknye. Tindak tanduk Hanna selalu mengingatkan ape yg aku buat pada Mak. Dan slalu mengingatkan ape yg Mak buat pada aku. So segala benda baik yg Mak dah buat pada aku, aku akan cuba buat pada Hanna dgn sebaik mungkin. Agaknye Mak aku dulu rasa mcm ni la bila aku bagi ape2 yg ntahapahapa tu... Tp aku dulu lebih banyak meminta daripada memberi... Ohh... how I wish I could give more and more masa dia ade dulu... huhuhuuu.... menyesal... menyesal :(

And now, Al-Fatihah (and doa) is the best and the only gift I can give to her.... Makk... saya rindu kat Makk... nangis lagii... cengeng btul la aku semenjak Mak dah takde ni... :(

Ya... anak adalah harta yg paling bermakna Allah turunkan kepada manusia.... Harta yg bukan percuma... bayarannya ialah tanggungjawab yg dipakejkan sekali dengan harta itu kepada penerimanya. Tanggungjawab utk menjadikan anak itu memilih utk turut pada agamanya... bayaran yg amat mahal semahal syurga dan neraka... Ya Allah... terbayarkah aku??!

To me, Mother's Day is more than just people showing their love and appreciation to the mother, but most importantly as reminder for me to muhasabah diri... reflecting my duties and responsiblities towards my child and the God....

"Siapa lah ibu tanpa si anak... dan siapalah ibu dan anak tanpa Allah"

Live Update from Durham, North Carolina

2009-05-11T13:33:00.001-07:00

Again… I'm leaving on the jet plane…. Leaving Hanna alone in Nenek's hands for the 5^th time…. Follow Abaji with another seminar for 5 days. Eh.. dah banyak kali jugak aku tinggalkan dia dlm masa 2 thn ni, sampai hati ek?!!... Ntahlah, Abaji is not so keen to bring her, alasan skolah la… susah la food nak cari kat sini… kenapa la dia rasa susah kalau bwk Hanna pergi jauh? well… for me tak kisah la takat tinggalkan playgroup utk 3 hari tu… (I'm not paying for it, itu pasal tak kisah kot??!).

But come to think about it… Alhamdulillah lah… suami isteri lain jarang dapat peluang berdua2an ala2 honeymoon mcm ni especially bila dah ade anak ramai. Kitorang ni Allah bagi peluang tiap2 tahun, with the accommodation paid for, stress and worry free about Hanna got in the wrong hands…. Dan Hanna pulak buat muka mcm takde perasaan je… slambe… tak kisah kena tinggal… Syukur Alhamdulillah… anakku tak banyak karenah…. Cuma aku ni layan rindu lebehhhh…. Perasaan keibuan yang bertahap ngengade… :P

Durham, NC tak jauh sgt dari NY… takat 2 jam je naik flight. Tapi tempat ni situasinya jauh berbeza… ala2 kampung gitu, very relax and green!! Traffic santai… weather marvelous! Tapi hari ni hujan sket, so tak panjang langkah la… maka bertapa la aku dlm bilik 1^st day ni.

People said, Durham is very nice for sight seeing, it's a green place, centre of academia with diversify culture… ye, mmg banyak universities kat area sini. We are staying at Courtyard Marriott, near to Duke University with great architectural and historical building. And this place is popular with the water plane (yg landing kat tasik tu…) for flightseeing tour… tp mcm mahal la pulak… $250 for 20 mins. Hmmm sure 'Menteri Kewangan' tak approve!!

Hehehee… sekali tiba2 terbaca plak Visitors Information Booklet…. Ade Carolina Premium Outlet laaa…. Abis la Menteri Kewangan ku…. Tempat tu agak jauh, 1 hr drive from the hotel… hhmm kena sewa keta la mcm ni…. hehehehhh… sightseeing can wait till last day, yg penting skarang kena pujuk Menteri Kewangan ku gi shopping dulu… kwangg..kwanggg…. berjayakah?? ;)

Bosan dlm flight… seb balik 2 jam je… Aku tak paham kenapa dia mesti buat muke pelik bila ajak amik gambar….

Since Abaji is very particular about dining in the restaurant… Nenet's pre-cooked foods sgt banyak dlm peti ais itu… hehehe… 5 hari punye stock…

Simingpul dia kocik je… but can la… Hehehee… bakal menjadi Michael Phleps lagi kah aku lepas ujan nih…??

The SILENCE that kills!

2009-05-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum my blog, friends, families and readers… rindu gilerr…

Fuhhh… Alhamdulillah… exam dah abis for this semester, just hope for the best… Tawakkal to Allah. Mmg tough!!… no wonder ramai yg amik sekerat jln, sespecially for those who are with other commitments. I'm not hoping too much to score straight A, kalau pass all the papers pun good enough for me to continue applying scholarship for the next sem. Kalau tak terpaksa la mintak Abaji sponsor balik mcm mula2 dulu… bukan banyak sgt pun, tp kalau boleh, taknak menyusahkan hubby terchentaa… bleh la yg extra2 tu dia wat blanje aku mende lain pulak… kehhkehh…. *ayat tak sedor diri*

Obviously aku sgt cuak… x confident menjwb soalan… mcm la sem2 lepas tu confident… tu la sendri mau ingat la kan… sapa suh study last minute??!!... Pastu merapu la jwb soalan… tu lom kira membuat silly mistakes lagi tu… Ya Allah…. Sekali lagi aku memohon pertolonganMu… mcm yg berkali-kali mintak sebelum ni… hhmmm… time2 mcm ni baru la nak terasa malu ngan tuhan… sbb rasa mcm doa tak setimpal ngan usaha… :(

Mmg sem baru ni rasa mcm sengal and slow sgt kepala otak ni… buat assignments slow, nak paham ape yg aku baca slow, nak menghafal slow… nak practice technical questions laaaggii la slow!! Sbb Mak dah takde ke?... isykk.. aku ni cari ilmu kerana Mak ke.. kerana Allah?! Astaghfirullah… Yg lajunye mengularr… tv3 teramat laju lak kat sini, giler aku back to back tgk SpaQ lah, Matahari lah, gossip2 Melodi lah, cerita antu seram yg tah ape2 tah, yg mmg jarang2 nk tgk time kat M'sia… bleh tersangkut gile2 pulak kat sini… bulletin utama akak layan jugakkk… tu blom masuk yg cerita2 drama movie dlm you tube sama ade yg sengaja di cari atau ter 'eksiden' jumpa… campur lak OIAM and AF season2 yg lepas tu pun aku khatamkan gak dlm senyap2. And tak kurang gak layan FB yg sedar2 je dah "eh… dah berjam-jam aku layan gambar kawan2 dlm FB ni?!!.. patut la penat, baring jap ahh… (a.k.a tido yg lama….)"… Abis dah waktu siang, malam baru la terhegeh2 nak bukak buku…. Time tgh bersemangat nak mentelaah, time tu la my Precious Princess datang dgn "Mommy… I want u!!" And as usual, she made me melted there and then after the whole day I'd been neglected her. And the days went on and on and on until submission date… then exam date…

The silence that I had was killing my time and my heart silently… It's not a golden silence as I wanted it to be. And it's not anyone's fault except me. Dan sekarang baru lah menyesal… rasa sgt bersalah ngan Hanna… ngan Nenet… ngan Abaji (sbb slalu stay up mlm sampai ke subuh dgn alasan "my brain works better at night"…) and terutama skali dengan Allah… :(

Friends… don't be like me…

"By the declining day, Lo! man is a state of loss, Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to endurance."

(Al-Quran: Al-Asr)

Silence is Golden

2009-03-10T03:58:00.000-07:00

Blog ini dijangka akan bersawang sehingga 4 May 2009. Harap maklom.
But I'll be hooking up (on and off) at FB :)
Sorry my dear blog, u've been (and will be) neglected for such a long time.
I'll write when I'm able to 'breath' again.

All these things are currently taking my breath away and replaced with everlasting headaches:

22 March - 1st submission (3 papers)
23 March - 2nd submission (1 paper)
10 April - 3 submission (1 paper)

Exams:
27 April
29 April
30 April - ayarkkkss!! takde gap pun yg ni... killer subject lak tuh! :(
4 May

p/s: Sorry Hanna... Mak sayang Hanna. Tp Mak tak boleh main ngan Hanna selalu. Appreciate for your patience, understanding and sacrifices.

HER FIRST COMPOSITION...

2009-02-21T23:42:00.001-08:00

** Extracted from my FB notes**

I taught her to write (I never consider that as homeschooling - just writing and scatching on papers like the normal mother-child unstructured activity).

I know she can write alphabhets (CAPITAL LETTERS only.. hahhaa).
But I didn't know she can construct a sentence and put it on writing like this.
I don't think I was able to do that when I was 4!
Siap lukis lagi... karangan bergambar la gitu... :D

"I MADE CARDS FOR MY FRIENDS - BY HANNA"

She is 4 next month. And already demanded me to throw a big birthday bash for her... Alamakk.. lomah lutut den!!!...

Anyway... me.. signing off feeling impress and proud :)
(like the normal typical mother always do..)

Mengapakah??!!

2009-02-18T00:22:00.000-08:00

Ini adelah Orange Chiffon Cake... ye.. kek ye puan2... bukan permukaan planet Marikh!

Hasil experiment aku rembat resepi Mak Yan kat sini! Dan 'dibantu' oleh Chef kecik secara sukarela. Sampai aku bagi duit suh main kat playroom pun dia tak mau. Resepi asal ialah Pandan Coconut Chiffon kaler ijaw tu, tp aku telah sukati modified jadi kaler oren dan rasa oren coz malas nak beli santan and daun pandan jauh nun kat Chinatown. Sila tukar santan ngan orange juice ye puan2... and pandan paste ganti ngan grated lemon / orange peel.

Menjadikk... texture and fluffiness mmg cun. Testimonial 3 orang isi rumah ni and the Jiran semua kata lembut dan sedap. Akak rasa pun sedap dekk... alalalaa dekkk...

TAPI.... ropenye tak santekkk!!... Mak yan... help!!! why is it cracking on the surface?!! Whyy..??

Gambor hasil ehsan Hanna... punya la jaki tak bagi aku snap gambar sebelum dia rasmikan the 1st piece... dengki btul!

This is my 2nd attempt actually. The 1st one was not bad... tak merekah, lembut dan sedap (again... bukan aku kata ye...) tapi kuar2 drp oven jer, terus penyet mcm tayar pancit kuar angin... jadi la kureng 1 inci ketinggiannye.... i thought it was bcoz the kitchen temperature was so cold maklum ler... winter... and i was right, the sudden change between the oven and the room temperature has made the cake unstable.

Kali ni wa ikut petua dlm internet, dapur kasi pasang heater, biar kek lama sket dlm oven (tu yg tergelap sket color tu...) pastu terus terbalikkan the angel tube up side down to let it cool. Tapi merekah la pulakkk...

Hmm...tu la.. bukannye aku tak cuba berjinak2 ngan dapur nih... dah cuba banyak kali dgn pelbagai receipe... but my talent is not in the kitchen, I guess. I just follow the tradition of life while I'm still a housewife... although my heart just don't belong there... :(

C.I.F.P = M.A.S.T.E.R ?!

2009-02-08T17:21:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... aaa.. ohhh... patut la... Alhamdulillah...

This is another letter of motivation for me... tak yah la pk nak amik master lagi pasni...

And another good news is... (good ke?..) bebanan course work telah di'reduce'kan from 40% to 20% and one of the subject tu takde course work langsung... 100% carry mark in final exam... perghh... which left me 10 assignments and 3 projects...

Adakah ini bermaksud aku boleh pegi bertapa di Woodbury Premium Outlet for President's Day Sale next week??!.. soping..sopingg... Heehheehh... masih blom insap rupanya.... uhuhuuhuu...

I want U !!!

2009-02-07T17:56:00.001-08:00

Me: It's snow tomorrow!!.. I wish it's going to be dry snow... so we can play outside together :) What do u wish for tomorrow Hanna?

Hanna: I wish for U!!... I want u, Mommy...

Yes.. that's her favorite quote to me... I WANT U!! Mcm tak cukup kasih sayang jer kan lagaknye. Padahal tetiap hari melekat kat aku okeh... kekadang tu sampai nak ke toilet pun dia nak ikut... pastu slalu mintak "Carry me, Mommy..." adoiii... mak tak larat dah nakk.. her size is already 2/3 of mine. Manjanya terlampauu... aku takut dia terspoil.... Ohh.. dugaan!!..

Aku lari pi amik camera... tinggalkan dia dlm toilet sensorang... tewus mewajukk!!

Rezeki...

2009-02-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah.... rezeki. Although it's only partial scholarship for only one semester, ini merupakan berita yg sangat gembira for me and Abaji. Yes, Abaji got it too... :). No... it's not from our employer... it's from our school.

I was overjoyed... bukak skype terus speed dial nombor emak.... but no one answered. Daaa.. lupa daaa... mak aku kan dah takde. Terkedu kejap... seblum ni kalau ade apa2 berita baik, mak la orang yg pertama tau dulu.. I'm sooo used to it, but now I hv to get use to the change, I guess...

Apa2 pun, syukur sangat2. Di saat aku rasa susah nak berguru di depan screen computer, tak nampak muka lecturer, hari ni tanya... guna email... esok baru dpt jawapan, kalau lecturer tak bz. And subject makin lama makin susah, makin mencabar... very critical... very analytical... ye...mcm amik Master of Finance lagaknye... uhhh... and I'm still crawling in understanding the basics. But this letter motivates me...

Yes, Allah is talking to me... jangan leka dgn nikmat dunia... jangan give up... and with this extra allocation I have, boleh la aku menambah lagi saham akhirat. Oh, GAZA... my heart goes with u....aku baru lepas nangis tgk gambar skolah kena bomb hari tu... :(

Semoga amalku, ibadatku diterima Allah dan dijauhkan hatiku dari sifat mazmumah... Aminn...

Things that I'm gonna miss...

2009-02-02T11:10:00.000-08:00

Entry pasal rindu lagi... hhmm.. dah makin tua ni makin sentimentel la pulakk!!

Taakk.. ni bukan rindu pasal orang yg dah pergi (mmg akan sentiasa dirindui...) or rindu pada barang yg hilang or perkara yg dah lepas... tapi ni pasal rindu yg akan datang... rindu akan saat manis yg aku lalui skarang... kehidupan yang ringkas dan gembira, relax dan tenang... aduhh.. makin kronik la penyakit 'M' aku nihh...

1) tak payah keja (bleh bangun lambat...)

2) tak payah masak (order saja...)

3) tak payah mengemas (buat sepah lagi ade laa...)

4) higher purchasing power - bukan banyak duit, okeh! (shopping...shopping... dan window shopping...)

5) good enforcement of consumer rights (after sales service n consumer awareness mmg superb!)

6) good neighborhood (tersangat lah convenient doing my errands... almost everything's nearby)

7) tak payah pk traffic jam (cuma risau pedastrian walk licin jer bila snow + hujan serentak)

8) have time to pause and reflect... to learn and improve.... and to love and appreciate... about life, death and life after death...

Antara aktiviti yg paling akan dirindui.... main snow ngan Hanna...

Dan melihat anak ini membesar di depan mata.... setiap masa....

Isykk... aku ni menulis... mcm la dah nak kena masuk keja balik esok pagi... Okey, back to REALITY!!!.. I have a child to nuture, and a hubby to jaga... so, bukannye dok mengangkang sesaja... and this semester, I hv doubled my CIFP subjects... ye.. aku terpaksa defer masa balik M'sia sem lepas... so terpaksa la berganda subjects sem ni, kalo tak thn bila lak nak grad?!... which makes me pecah kepala nak menyetelkan 20 assignments dan 4 project papers dlm masa EMPAT PULUH HARI!!! Tersangat bz la makcikk.... Iskk.. seriously aku rasa mcm amik MASTER la plakk...

Sekian, harap maklom...

Saya sangat rinduuu.... :(

2009-01-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

My mom loved this song... I love this song... Hanna loves this song... Hanna used to dance in front of her when I played this song... Makk... saya rindu sangat kat mak...

Ohhh... Ya Allah... I miss her so much! Al-Fatihah... Ameen...

Hanna (2 yrs old) sedang melayan diri sambil diperhatikan oleh Atok Mak... (pesen rambut Temenggung Jugah... hahaha!!)

Anak-anak Akhir Zaman...

2009-01-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

Pada suatu hari....

Me: Makcik... Makcik!! mai jap...

Nenet: Ya Mak... ade ape? (sambil datang berlari2 ngan Hanna into my room)

Me: Buah dah abiskan?... makcik tolong beli sket kat bawah ye... (opened my drawer and handed her $10... Hanna tengok aje...)

Nenet: Ok.. jom.. Hanna nak follow? (Hanna angguk...)

Hanna: Mommy, I want money...

Aku malas nak layan lebih... bukak drawer bagi dia $1.

Hanna: Thank you... (sambil belek2 duit tu...)

Hanna: Nenekk.... Kita change ok... nenek ambik yg ini... Hanna yg ini... (duit $10 dan $1 bertukar tangan... Makcik dah jeling2 aku time tu)

Hanna: Hahahaa!!!.. Ten Dollars... money... money... money!!! (sambil kipas2 duit kat muka dia... and buat muka nak kena dengki kat nenet...)

Nenet: Ya Allah!!!!... budak ini... kok pandai ya Makk?!!...

Aku dah tergelak2 time tu tgk aksi spontan dia... hahaha... Mata duitan sungguh bebudak zaman skarang nih!!... tah mana la dia blajor macam tu..

Tak... aku tak ajar pun... i thought she's still too young for that... Confirm!!. kat skolah pun tak pernah ajor okeh.. aku tau sgt sbb tetiap minggu cikgu dia update syllabus kat parents.

Few minutes later....

Hanna: Mommy... can I have thousand dollars?

Me: (Tergamam kejap... tak tau nak cakap ape...)

Kira 1 sampai 30 pun terhegeh2...dia nak mintak THOUSAND DOLLARS??!!... tskk..tskkk... dah la liat nak baca Iqra'.... inilah cabaran membesarkan anak di akhir zaman...

Fuuiiyyoooo!!!!... Madela Freestyle

2009-01-22T13:21:00.000-08:00

Aku merasa takjub, kagum, impress dan jakun dgn barangan yg satu ini... Yes!! this is another awesome invention yg akak sangat sukeeee!!!... MADELA FREESTYLE ELECTRICAL BREAST PUMP.... Model ni belum masuk Malaysia lagi ye puan2.. harap maklom...

I was a freaking working nursing mom back in 2005 to 2007. Hanna was very luck having a mother that was very obsessed with breastfeeding.... she got the BEST MILK in the world for the first 26 months in her life! Alhamdulillah... rezeki dia... and I felt so honoured and proud I did that... hey, not every mom can and WANT to do it for full 2 years ok.... I bet rakan2 seangkatan dan seopis ku juga pasti BANGGA dapat menyusukan anak2 diorang dgn jayanye sejajar dgn sunnah Al-Quran... :)

Tgk la ni, size Freestyle is half of the Madela Electric Mini. Heehee.. I brought my Mini all the way from M'sia to US, verangan la kot aku merandung dan beranak kat sinikan... boleh la mengepam utk adik Hanna plak... Hmmm bila la aku dapat nak guna Mini ni skali lagi... masih belum rezeki.....

Freestyle is so light and compact and has a lot of additional features to make the pumping experience easier. I know... it's really tough for working mom to pump at work. Leceh, time consuming, hectic dan amat meletihkan. Lagi2 kalu keja mcm aku dulu yg jarang2 lekat kt office. Sbb tu ramai yg mengalah (bukan disebabkan masalah kesihatan) and switch to fomula milk instead... Lebih2 lagi kalo dapat hubby yg not very encouraging and buat derkk aje... Oh, Abaji is not one of them... I lap u... thanks for ur full support Abaji.. hehehee.Tak kurang juga ramai uninformed mothers yg tak tau kelebihan menyusukan anak gave up the breastfeeding at the very early stage... kesian mereka dann keluarga mereka...

Dgn saiz yg besar sket dari tapak tangan ku... it's very convenient for mommies who are always on the go like me, once upon a time. Having had a problem of low milk supply, i've tried so many petua and used so many pumps to increase my milk supply... u name it lah... Pureen.. Avent... Anakku... Spectra... yg manual, pakai bateri, electric, single pump, double pump... but at last, I fell in love with Madela Mini electric dual pump. It was quite a heavy investment for a kuli like me... tapi alah membeli menang memakai. Mmg best compared to yg lain2. Tapi yg Freestyle ni lagi best. Citer banyak pun tak guna... tgk sendiri la kat sini http://www.medelafreestyle.com/Home/ProductDetails.

Madela Freestyle retail price in US is $380. I heard it's coming to Malaysian market soon with the price reaching RM2k plus... (glupp??!!). Tapi sapa2 yg berminat nak dapatkan harga discount RM1700 (including shipping cost), silalah contact saya hanumkamarudin@gmail.com.

Also available, the very popular Madela PUMP IN STYLE ADVANCE (PISA) dengan harga RM1350 (kat KL harganya almost RM1700!!) and Madela SWING (single electric pump) dengan harga RM850.

Kepada tuan empunya Freestyle ini, I believe your item has reach you safely. Selamat menyambut kelahiran yg pertama... selamat bergelar ibu... welcome to the club and enjoy your breastfeeding moments... Good luck dear!! :)

The SQUARE that I like....

2009-01-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

Thank you for sponsoring Abaji.... I lap u again and againnn... hehehee...

At last I got my own collection of pinggan petak yg aku dah aim sejak baru2 kawin dolu... semblom kawen aku tak amik pot pun bab2 pinggan mangkuk nehh... Tapi time tu yg petak set banyak corak bunga2 and rasa mcm mahal sgt although aku ushar kat Idaman Suri yg sememangnye lebih murah compared Sogo n Jusco... And kat sini mmg laaagggiii la murah and plenty of choices... cumanya makan setahun lebih gak ler aku nak memujuk rayu Abaji suh belikan ni....

Now no more round, flowery, boring oldskool thingy on my dining table.... the contemporary classic design has taken over! Yeah... Modern Lines ROCKS!!!!... theehehee... what a weird taste i have... tak kisah la.. hakak mmg suke yg itu, nak wat camna...

And on that day the French White ade promotion lah pulak... giler punye murah!... apalagaa... sambar!!!! Aduhh...mereng jap aku dlm kedai tu...

Hmmm... when I got back home and reflected myself that night.... aku jadi malu sendiri ngan Tuhan.... again I'm failed... aku gagal dan tewas dlm memboikot American brands... which have direct or indirect link to the contribution of the manslaughter in Palestine... I know, alangkan kat Malaysia orang bermujahadah berkeluh kesah susahnye nak memboikot barangan Israel and America yg sudah sebati dengan diri mereka... well, still plenty of them don't even care about this!!.. inikan pulak aku yg sangat lemah iman tercampak kat dlm negeri diorang nih... NY pulak tu!!.. The highest Jewish population in America.... 99% of everyday merchandise I'm using here are in the 'boycott list'!! Masih mencari alternative lain, dan masih belum berjumpa... Or should I declare myself as in 'darurat'??!!. Ya Allah... why am I justifying myself here?! Sekadar nak menyedapkan hati sendiri?? Astaghfirullah...

Yes, that's the biggest challange I have to face everyday... dan slalunye aku gagal... It's been quite sometimes I've been avoiding McD, Starbucks and items that bar code starts with 729.... yg ni slalunye berjaya... but I'm still wearing Levi's that made in Honduras, GAP that made in Thailand, Banana Republic that made in India, Coach, Aigner, Guess, etc..etc that made in China.... tp tak le terasa hina sgt membelinye sbb barang ni pun diimport dari tempat lain... but these Corelle and Corningware ni... mmg 100% purely made in USA... dan nafsuku tidak mampu utk tidak membelinye.... ohh... sungguh HINA!!... :(

Help GAZA, please...

2009-01-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

http://www.thecommentfactory.com/gaza-is-a-new-genocide-an-israeli-and-granddaughter-of-holocaust-survivors-explains-how-she-fought-the-lies/

I'm doing this in the cause of ALLAH. I believe in my effort of writing and talking about this matter, would somehow trigger the intuation and willingness of the readers of wanting to know more... and once you really know what happen, and the truth is revealed to you... I hope you will show your care and sincerely want to help them in whatever way you can... may it be in form of monetary support, efforts in desseminating information and educating others, boycotting Israelist products or at least with prayers in your heart... I believe we could help to STOP THE CRIMES OF THE ZIONIST TO THE PALESTINIANS... Insyaallah.

Janganlah sikap ketidakpedulian kita memakan diri sendiri... Ingatlah... Allah sebenarnya sedang menguji kita...

Weather Sesat...

2008-12-29T08:44:00.000-08:00

I've noticed in these 2 consecutive winters, there is one day in this very cold season can be called as "Weather Sesat Day". Why?... B'coz the temperature that has always been below zero degrees suddenly rises to 17 -18 degree celcius on that day. Pernah jadi skali thn lepas... and recently jadi lagi. Ohww... tentunya akak sungguh gumbira bila mendapat hari yg 'hangat' sebegitu setelah berhari2 berada di bawah takat beku!!

It so happen that the Weather Sesat Day for Winter 2008 was yesterday. SUNDAY... yeayy!!!.. so apalagaaa... off we went berjalan2 menikmati kehangatan x panas mana pon.. kena pakai jacket gak ler... angin kuat bebb!! Disebabkan cuaca mendung, and weather forcast kat tv cakap akan ade hujan lebat... we decided melayan Hanna @ John Jay Park tu aje la... yg ade smmingpul tu... yg dah dikeringkan airnye during winter. Haii.. anak aku kalo dah dapat playground... tak ingat nak balik ler... sib baik ade gerimis sket, bleh la paksa... i mean... pujuk dia balik rumah.

aiseymen... terjongket boyan nih... aku yg x sedar diri cas2 sama berat ngan budak 12 thn...

hujan dah turunnn....

More pics in FB... upload dlm FB laju sket... hehehe

Awesome Invention!!..

2008-12-27T17:47:00.000-08:00

Suddenly I got so addicted to FB!! which I wasn't even care to explore when i 1st registered since the past 13 months...

Owhh... sungguh sonot melayan gambarr and jumpa balik the loongg lost friends... sampai aku meganaktirikan blog ku senirik... FACE BOOK ROARSSS!!!!

Ok... masa utk Bermuka Buku... :)

Happy Birthday Pak Kurl...

2008-12-09T12:57:00.000-08:00

Kak Nom sayang Hekal and Erin...
Semoga sentiasa selamat sejahtera di bawah lindunganNya...

Mommy and Daddy to be... very happy tayang gigi... mcm iklan Colgate :B

Veskal... ko tlg tgk2 kan ler umah tu... struktur bukit ok ke.. tak ok ker... ade tanah merekah ke... dah ler atas bukit, tepi cerun lak tu... aku seghiau tgk tanah runtuh kat Bkt A/bangsa tuh...

Part Time Model...

2008-12-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

And another part of the time, kacau mak la kalau dia tak gi skolah....

So... sapa2 yg suh update blog handbag aku cecepat tu.... this is the reason why kerja2 'mulia' aku kerap kali tergendala... hehehe.. kena tuduh jer Hanna ni ngan mak... actually nye aku malas... syiok berhibernasi disiang hari :p

Aku tak paham... aku dah sejuk beku ni dia bleh melalak nak pakai sleeveless... peluhh..

Time org nak snap, time tu la tangan dia sebok interframe...

Nak bwk gi skolahh?!.. manyak cantekk??!

Fevret Hanna.. sama la mcm fevret mak....

Gagal..!!

2008-12-01T14:06:00.000-08:00

Urrgghh!!... skali lagi aku GAGAL melawan nafsu during Thanksgiving sale!!...

Main mission: Beli beg customer order... 4 bijik shj.
Mission accomplished with 5 additional items menjadikan 9 bijik Coach kesemuanya! Sekaligus menjadikan aku tak larat nak hangkut shopping bag kiri kanan... menyebabkan aku terpaksa membeli itu Delsey luggage wana biru (yg on sale jugak... ngehh..ngehh ;)) kasi load itu henbeg suma dlm itu luggage... utk diheret masuk dalam bas!! Niat nak ushar Cole Haan and Liz Claiborne terkubur begitu sahaja sbb aku dah beku giler time tu...

I thought of buying for myself, but terbayang2 Abaji's dissaproval face berkhutbah kat aku... "U nak wat pe beg bebanyak... kan u baru beli utk u haritu..." (which that beg aku dah sedekah kat Mak Nem after i bot myself the other one... hehehehh). So friend out there... wait till i update "Original For Less" with my personal favorites... Pink Ergo Leather Pleated Hobo, Dark Brown Legacy Medium Flap Shoulder Bag and Optic Minisignature Clutch Wristlet... ohh sungguh cyber color wristlet nihh.. i like!!!

My next mission: Mengendeng kat Abaji supaya sedekah kat aku all my personal peberet kalau tak berjaya dijual... kwang...kwanggg...kwanggg....

Awning Munawarahku Penyek!...

2008-11-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

I unpacked my luggage recently and discovered my munawwarah's awning dah terpenyett... urghhh!! tensi gue!! hilanglah keserian Sri Munawwarah ku ituuss... uhukk.. uhukk :(

Dengan otomatiknye aku tuduh kastam mengopes beg aku tak letak balik barang betul2... hampehhh...

She's Gone....

2008-11-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

... Mak at her last 33 days ...

Innalillahi wa innailaihi roji'unn.

My beloved mother has passed on to the next life on 19 Nov 2008, 5.39pm @ PMC at the age of 59. Alhamdulillah, her body was safely buried in Muslim Cemetery Kg. Parit Keroma, Jln Abd. Rahman, Muar, Johor on 20 Nov 2008 @ 11 am.

Cause of death: Breast carcinoma mestasis to the liver and brain. She was a cancer survivor for 31 months. I was by her side until her last dying breath. She left us with a smile... as if like telling me that she lost the battle but won the war. May she rest in peace and may Allah place her in Jannah with the mukmins and solihins. Ameen.

Al-fatihah to Allahyarhamah Hajjah Zuhila @ Hamidah Bte Ali (1949-2008).

Emergency

2008-10-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Akim skype me this morning... Her condition is worsen...

Ajal maut bukan kita yg tentukan. But I don't want to feel regret for the rest of my life... incase tak sempat...

So, I decided to come back a.s.a.p. Just bought the ticket for tomorrow nite, but haven't packing yet... nothing to pack anyway. It's just me by myself... Insyaallah, Abaji will be joining me next weekend.

Emakk... I'm coming home... mak tunggu saye ye...

Ya Allah yg Maha Pemurah... Lapangkanlah masa kami Ya Allah.... Berikanlah kami kesempatan, panjangkanlah umur kami Ya Allah.... Aminn

Friends, doakan semoga semuanya baik2 aje ye...

Post Mastectomy in April 2006

Happy Birthday to U :)

2008-10-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

Today is the LOVE OF MY LIFE's birthday.... yg ke 30 thn... hehehe... muda belia tak suamiku ini??!...

Sorry Yangg... I tak prepare ape2 pun for your birthday. Nak bagi hadiah pun, u jugak yg membayar nanti. Hanya doa dan senyuman menjadi hadiah. Ape2 pun I always love u more and more everyday. Selamat Hari Jadi... semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki, diberikan kesihatan yg baik dan diberkati Allah dunia akhirat. Semoga semakin lama u semakin sayang kat I, as much as I love u... and I believe u'll always lead our family in Allah's path, Insyaallah.

Thank you for being such a very good and responsible husband, and a good father to our child, caring and loving in your own way. I really appeciate your efforts in being a romantic spouse despite your 'kekayuan'... I know it's not easy and it means a lot to me dear... ahakksss!! :) Thank you for loving me unconditionally for whoever I am... accepting my flaws and weaknesses... thank you for improving our life materially and spiritually... thank you for helping me to be a better wife.... thank you Allah for lending him to me in this life... I'm very grateful indeed, and hope to be his forever wife in the Hereafter.

Ohh... Kak Wan called, dia nak blanjer birthday boy and family dinner kat Afghan Kebab House now... ini adhoc punye acara ni... what a surprise!! Akak mmg suke bab makan free nih... yeayy!! Rezeki jgn ditolak... hhmmm... makan lagi... bln October thn ni sememangnye adelah "BULAN MAKAN SEDUNIA". Alamakk... anak birthday boy dah tido la... nak kejut nanti, crancky la pulak.... so just 3 of us and the food was SUPERB!! Thanks Aunty Wan.... :)

Eid Mubarak!!

2008-10-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan pergi... Shawal datang lagi... 30 Sept 2008, awal sehari dari Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, minalaideen walfaizeen...

Featuring baju raya lama utk 2008...

Abaji: Baju thn 2004 yg seluarnye tah dia campak kat mana...

Me: Baju thn 200x zaman anak dara... aku tak ingat thn brape... nampak mcm ok lagi.. so sarung jer lah. Tudung pink tu atas ehsan Mak Nem yg aku bodek dia kaw2 punye suh sedekah kat aku time Beka kawen dulu... hahaha.. tengkiue Mak Nemm.

Hanna: Baju raya Farah kazen Abaji thn 2005 Mami Fariza bagi... dan tudung Zarina hadiahkan, dia pakai tak nak bukak2... sukati ko la nakk...

Nenet: Mendapat habuan baju kurung aku time pretnen 6 bln masa thn 2004. Muat2 aje dia... dah rezeki makcik lah tu... Tudung... pun Zarina bagi juga...

Macam tahun lepas, lebih kurang sama jer agenda raya thn ni... Solat Aidilfitri kat Masjid East 96th St. Once again I'm amazed to see so many different people with different color and culture, united under one roof in the name of Islam. This time, I managed to learn a little bit on how different mazhabs perform the solat slighty different than Mazhab Shafie'.

Then balik rumah sessi bergambar dan makan2, pastu gi raya umah Ucop, makan lagi... menunye tetap marbelesss mcm thn lepas jugak... Shelly buat kuzi kambing ngan roti jala sama kari ayam. I like!!.. Nyummyyy....

Bezanya kali ni Abaji dapat cuti sehari, pun tak ke mana... tido jer petang tu. And this year I got more Muslim friends, so malam tu buat la makan2... Zarina & family and Kak Wan datang bertandang. Paling simple menunye, soto ayam, agar2 lapis and Chiffon cake... Kiki bagi... aku nak buat chiffon cake resepi ko bagi tu lambat lagi ye Mak Yann... harap maklom... hehehe.

Waited till 3.30am to skype with my family kat rumah Tok Baah. Tapi hampa... tak dpt tgk emak ngan abah pun. I was skyped after they went back, huhuhuhuuu :(

And the next day on 2nd raya, Zarina lak buat open house. Makan la apalagaaa.... kuzi ayam and rendang and sup daging and cup cakes and brownies... Fuhh!!... power sungguh minah ni masak anak beranak. Aku tersandar kekenyangan, rasa mcm nak tido situ jer, tak larat nak jalan balik rumah.

And the weekend came... kali ni acara makan2 kat Mission pulak tajaan Malaysian Consulate. Ku laramkan baju labuci merah time Hekal kawin hari tu... baru pakai skali, lupa lak nak bwk kamera... Henfon ku zaman paleolitic, takde kamera dlm phone ye... huhuhuhh... Tapi memang beshhh!!.. Menunye sudah tentu Malaysian food... menu wajib time raya and kuih muih sume ade lah... and pekena teh tarik original mcm mapley kat Sg. Besi rasanya... alahai.. rugi takde gambar...

Kesimpulannye?... Raya = Makan = Kenyang...

I shred a few pounds during Ramadhan, but gained back even more within a few days of Raya....

Balboa Island, Newport Beach, CA

2008-09-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

The journey to CA was a pleasant one, with the bright sunny morning greeted us that day. Flight pun on time. But I fasted for 16 hours on that day since CA time lagged 3 hours behind NY... aduhh... letihhh!! Sengaja taknak guna rukhsah sebagai musafir sbb mengenangkan uzur sharie' ku yg sudah tersgt banyak lah harinye... nak menggantinye nanti satu hal... so I continued fasting for the rest of the day.

We stayed at Marriot. Detour around the area on the first day, mmg cantik lah tempat ni... very clean and fresh! Terlupa kejap akan subway kat New York yg busuk dan buruk ituuss!! I burnt my skin while walking around, tak perasan... udara yg sejuk nyaman but the sky was blue and clear... takde awan. So i got direct sunlight from the sky w/pun ada lapisan ozone i believe... dan tau2 je dah legam! Thereafter, I decided to lock myself up in the hotel room dengan niat nak study but end up sleeping most of the time while hubby was on course during the day... and that went on for 4.5 days.

Went out once to "Fashion Island" but dare not going again as I was afraid i might cause more damage on hubby's credit card. It was just across the street opposite the hotel, a huge shopping complex where the Macy's, Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus, Nodstrom, etc... (u name it lah) are all there. Expensive, but tersangat lah cantik koleksi baju dan handbagnyerr... sungguh teruja but being the very 'isteri mithali' of me.... I declared it as DANGER ZONE!! utk menyelamatkan credit card dari digesek tak tentu hala.... hanya pegi utk beli fruit salad buat bukak puasa jer... hehehehh... baik tak akuh??!!

But the best part was I got to treat myself by immersing in the hot bubblejet spa pool almost every nite berdua2an with Abaji.... oohhh... so heaven!! We conquered the swimming pool... after that the spa pool... so relaxing... so refreshing... Sgt sesuai berterawih lepas tu. And we had a great time jalan2 at Balboa Island on our final day although didn't manage to go whale watching. It was foggy, kabus tebal pulak hari tu walaupun dah tengahari, not so good for cruising. Pun begitu acara shoping-shoppingan tetap ada... Got some souvenirs for the loved ones in NY...Hanna, Nenet, Shelly and Zarina... mereka dan keluarga mereka...

Balboa... tempat yg cantik dan menarik, but is a very expensive vacation spot. It is a high end, very the up scale vacation treats for orang2 kayass. Kurengg ssesuwaii utk aku yg ciput bajetnye. Luxury bungalows but empty, private decks, yatch and luxury boats bersusun sana sini... and the owners only come here during summer. What a waste!!.. bagi kat aku lagi baik!!

I'm leaving on the jet plane....

2008-09-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ke mana? - Newport Beach, L.A, California again... another 6 hrs journey... huhuhuhh...

Bila? - Sept 21, 08 (Sunday)

Naik ape? - Jetblue Airways hehehe.. seb baik tempah awal... dpt murah beb!

Sampai bila? - Sept 27, 08 lama beb... seminggu!!

Apsal? - Menyebok ikut Abaji conference... hehehehhh... breaaakkk awaayyyy!!!.. Sambil menimba pengalaman, meninjau dan menikmati keindahan alam ciptaan Allah di sana.

Bulan2 puasa ni? - Iye... ape salahnye...

Abis Hanna camna? - Tinggal ngan Nenet kat rumah. heheheh... aci tak??! Lagi pun dia tgh suka nak gi skolah tu... biar lah...

Sampai hati tinggalkan dia? - I believe she's in the good hand... and with my entrusted neighbour upstairs, Insyaallah ok.

Doakan slamat pergi dan balik ye.... TQ

Mari Berenang :)

2008-09-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

This entry was dated sometimes in Aug 08... hehehe betapa malasnyer aku time tu nak mengupdate. Anyway, me, Shelly and the contigent were exploring the newly discovered play park @ the upper-east side of Manhattan... it's called John Jay Park... very cool!! Imagine in the one big area, there are several playgrounds specially designed for different kind of age... for infants/toddlers, for small kids and preschoolers, and for bigger kids (bigger than my size hehehe... size shj ye.. umurku telah melebihi had kelayakan tidak sesuwaii utk dibuat comparison). Budak2 ni apalagaa... pantang nampak, nak main terus tak nak balik. I like this neighborhood although not as "high end" as our area... apartment area sini ala2 ancient European style... they are old buildings i guess, tp cantik and well preserved... takde la petak2 batu-bata semata. And kat sebelah tu ade tennis and basketball courts (i'm sure Abaji gonna love this)... and the other side kawasan lapang with few benches for picnic... and jengg...jengg...jenggg... kat hujung sebelah sana pulak akak ternampak ini!!!

Yess... yessss... hakak suke!!! It's free... the best public swimming pool in Manhattan, is it??! Dan nampaknye tak ramai orang. Ini sudah bagusss!!!

I LOVE SWIMMING very much!.. Kalau kat KL dulu merata cari tempat nak swimming (yg private and free of course... hehehh). It was easy when I was in UKM coz ade dedicated swimming pool for ladies only. Tak la besar mana... but good enough for me. Then when I started working, rasa2 nak berenang aje, menempel la aku kat condo Mala @ Hill Park, takpun gi BNM swimming pool kat HRDC which always be more men than women in the pool... so akak kurengg la sket nak layan pool BNM ituss. So kalau gian sgt, lari gi Bangi, did few lapses kat UKM's pool. Fee pon murah jer... jauh sket la tapinye...

Years after... (few months b4 I left for NY) Lynn lak offer swimming kat UM... Yess.. olympic sized pool opened for ladies once a week, bayar RM2 ajer... yeayyyy!!.. Apalagaa.. tetiap minggu la aku layann... thanks Lynn for introducing it to me. I had great times swimming with u, buddy :). Sure ko dah terrer free style ko tuh! Skarang tgh master kuak ape lak Lynn?

Kat sini boleh la join health club nak swimming doplohpat jam... hehehe. Cuma sediakan $$$ jer la. I've surveyed, paling murah pun $250 with other facilities which I don't need... ohh.. tidakkk!!!!... aku nih bukannye nak berenang hari2 pon... buat rugi duit jer. Itu pasal la aku dah terover excited bila dicovered John Jay swimming pool yg free itusss... :)

And the very next day, sungguh bersemangat mengalahkan Michael Phelps... aku telah berkobar2 menerjunkan diri ke dalamnye... Fulllamaakkk... sojukkkk gilerrrr air dia!!!! Dah la angin sejuk sepoi2 bahasa dipenghujung summer nih. Laggii lah aku menggigil... and I found my skill deteriorated... huhuuhuhuu :( .... Stamina hancuss.... separuh lap jer aku sudah pancit!!!!... uuwawaawawaaa!!!

Less than 20 mins I decided to get out from that freezing water... aku dah sesak nafas... tak pepasal kang pengsan dek hypothermia!! muskel gak aku org lain releks jer berendam dlm tu... iskkk... Sabar... sabar... aku tunggu next summer 2009!!

Time nak masuk changing room ade la sorang minah ni pangkat makcik gak kot?! tegur aku.

Minah: "Hey... nice attire!!.. i like this very much, especially the weather is getting cold like this, it's good to cover up".

Me: "Thanks, I'm a Muslim. I have to cover up in public regardless what's the weather like. (sungguh aku bermujahadah nak menutup aurat but yet masih tak dapat nak buang keinginan towards fashionable and trendy dressing... syndrome lemah iman... :()

Minah: "I'm a Jewish. You know... we Jewish have to cover too. I normally cover myself when I go out, but not when going swimming. But looking at yours, I think I have to find one for me. Does it come with a skirt?"

Me: "This is the normal diving suit, I know that there's a swimming suit designed for muslim women that is not so tight, with the skirt covering the hip and with full head gear covering the neck. But don't think it's available here. Perhaps u could check in the Internet" (Serta-merta aku teringat Kak Mimi (or Sina?) yg jual muslimah swimming suit kat opes dulu. Rugi lak rasa tak beli. Kalo tak leh gak promote kat dia...).

Minah: "Oh.. that's interesting! For the sake of my health, i need to swim but u know... the pool rules is to wear the swimming suit. I wish one day they'll sell it here."

Me: "Yeah, I know... I'm sure u'll find one that is suitable for u..." (sambil bersalam kenal and borak2 jap before saying goodbye).

Masa mandi dan salin baju macam2 perkara terlintas kat fikiran... Pasal swimming suit, pasal Yahudi, pasal Palestine yg ditindas oleh Yahudi, pasal muslim community living in Judoe-Christian country... hhhmmm.... I'm making friend with Jewish and yet my Muslim brothers and sisters in Palastine are killed by the Jewish... hhmm mcm2 perasaan timbul lepas tu...

Ada Apa Dengan Handbag?!!

2008-09-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

USD vs. RM... uhhhuuu :(

Alahaiii... found so many big and roomy Aigner, Nine West, Kenneth Cole, LC, Furla, Guess... etc... cantekkss sangat2!!.. Discountnye pun menarikssss jugaks tuu... meleleh jer tengok... tangan ni dah gatal nak membeli...

Tapikan... FOREX dah semakin haru... dollar/ringgit is getting higher and higher... exchange rate today $1=RM3.507... Jadi mahal la kalau nak jual nanti... isykk... kesian kat org2 M'sia... tak sanggup laks owang nak beli... mencikkk la cenggini... mencikkk tawww!!! isykkk... isykkk....

How lehh??... to buy... or not to buy....

Ayat-ayat Cinta...

2008-09-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

New semester has begun... while Hanna is constantly developing her skills in pre-K, I have 2 more subjects to complete my Part 1... aiyarkss... baru part 1 dah tercungap-cungap... This means from now on I'm back again with activities of reading, digesting, brainstorming, researching, thinking, filtering and completing my assignments and project papers before the exam at the end of the year. Namun, taufan kemalasan masih melanda tanpa reda.... Oleh itu mari kita tengok wayang!!!... heheheh...

Through Saifulislam.com I found my favorite film of the year!!.. filem sepanjang zaman... an Indonesian film "AYAT AYAT CINTA" ohh.. sungguh syahdu... dah ler tgh PMS nihh... sebak... sayu... pilu... dan paling penting sungguh menginsafkan!!! Recomended to everyone!!..

Credit to the original writer of the novel... Habiburrahman El Shirazy, yang mana diantara lain, telah meletakkan konsep poligami dari kacamata Islam dalam konteks yg betul. Syabas!!

RAMADHAN MUBARAK...!!

2008-09-02T20:26:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah... Ramadhan datang lagi... diam tak diam dah genap setahun we all berhijrah ke NY. We arrived on 6th Sept 07, just a week before last Ramadhan... so kelam kabut, dgn luggages berbondong2... jet lagged lagi... moving twice from hotel to temporary apartment before we settle down at the actual residents... was so restless... mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.

Syukur... kali ni Ramadhan disambut dgn lebih tenang and gembira... serba serbi dalam kesederhanaan. No Bazaar Ramadhan.. no extravagant foods... no wasting of money and time. We just do our tarawih berjemaah at home... just the short ones to begin with, Abaji as the Imaam. Hanna always want to slit herself between me and nenet, joined us performing solat together with her brand new telekung, Zarina bought from KL recently. I never discourage her nor compel her to join us. I just said she can stop and relax if she feels tired. But I was impressed as she obediently followed the solat and completed until witir... cuma the last few rakaats tu dia dah goyang2 dah... menempel kat aku or nenet. Kesian... nak tergelak pun ade... Dan yg best tu, baca Fatihah lagi kuat dari suara Imaam... ohh.. sungguhlah mengganggu konsentrasi ku...

And the next day dia pun nak puasa jugak... refused to eat and drink since morning... ehh.. cuak gak aku tgk budak ni... tp dia selamber jer... "HANNA PUASA..." katanya....

I'm in dilemma... terpaksa la aku mengayat... "3 yrs old, Allah sayang... it's ok to eat a little bit while u puasa... coz small kids hv to eat... if not u'll get stomach ache. Later when u grow up, when u r big and strong like Emak, u can puasa the whole day... ".

"But mommy... u r small, u r not big like Abaji... u hv to eat too...."

Ohh.. tersalah bagi example aku rupanya... tapi tak pe lah.. dia makan dgn lahapnye selepas itu...

To families and friends.... selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan yg mulia dan penuh barakah. Semoga Allah merahmati amalan kita semua dan dipanjangkan umur utk menyambut Ramadhan seterusnya. Maafkan segala kesalahan kami sekeluarga dan halalkan lah rezeki yg kami terambil secara sengaja mahupun tidak.

Lots of love from us in the far away land.... missing home a lot!!

WHY???!!

2008-08-18T12:17:00.000-07:00

Why must put GELATIN in kids vitamin haaa??!! Why??!! Whyyyy??!!!!
Ohh.. sungguh tensen aku nak carik vitamin Hanna nih. Appeton tak jual la kat siniii....
#@^&*!!*+#%!!@!!!!

Sapa2 nak dtg sini.. sila cakap ye.. aku nak kirim vitamin... kicap manis kipas udang... keropok ikan.. kopok segera... kiub ayam knorr... tomyam paste NONA... curry paste A1 (sedap giler... bleh dpt kat Penang jer...) etc..etc... ehh.. banyak songehh la pulak...

Di Ambang Kejatuhan US Ekonomi....

2008-08-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

Dan ini lah natijahnye....

Bapak2 budak dan mak budak ni main2 pulak kat opes ye!!.. Hepp..hepp.. biasa dia tuh!! Nak kena buang keja ke??!!! Tau la US economy tgh recession now... korang takde keja la tuu... Nanti gua report kat Big Boss... ntah2 big boss dia yg snap gambar nih kot?!.... hehehh...

I received this pics from hubby at work thru skype yesterday... when I was alone at home feeling "under the weather"... he tried to cheer me up. And he did make me smile when I looked into this pic and few others more.

Hari ni Abaji balik lambat... got dinner with the Boss and delegates tah dari mana tah... It's just 6.00pm... dia balik keja time2 mcm ni la slalunye... and I miss him already...

Abaji... I love U...

Rakan2... sila jgn muntah ye... bagi peluang aku berjiwang karat plak kejap... hehehhh...

Hari2 jumpa pun boleh rindu. Camna la rasa husband and wife yg duduk saperate sbb kena keja jauh2 especially kat oversea tu.... issyykk... semestinye memerlukan kesabaran dan pengorbanan yg sungguh besarr!!!!..

I have few friends who's going through this kind of challenge. Yes, to my friends the Mommy Vouge, Super Mom siann.. anak2 asik kuar masuk spital jer lately, Ibu Macho and Mummy Gersang hehehe... (guys.. u know who u are...), I mmg salute and respek giler la kat you all. U go girls!!.. be strong and may this temporary saperation will strengthen the bond between u and your other half. Semoga dikuatkan iman, dimurahkan rezeki, dipanjangkan umur and u all will be together again and live happily ever after... Insyaallah... Ameen... Seb baik korang ade anak2... tak la sunyi sgt kot?!

"Jauh di mata, dekat di hati..." :)

And Miracle Happened...

2008-08-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

ALHAMDULILLAH...

HE tested me... HE loves me... (cilok Kak Gee's recent entry title in her blog ;))

I passed my exam (and Abaji too...), and I cried in gratefulness.... I'm a bit emo now...
Emakk... kalau dulu, berhadapan ngan time2 mcm ni mesti saya dah peluk mak... ni nak peluk Abaji, dia gi keja... nak peluk Hanna, dia skolah... tak kan nak peluk Nenet lak kot?.. isykk.. takmoh lah...

He tested us... in multiple ways... but never leaves us alone without strength to go through it. HE'S THE MOST MERCIFUL, THE MOST COMPASIONATE...

And I have to learn to thank HIM more and more... have to improve my solat, have to learn Al-Quran more... I found it easier to understand Al-Quran thru CIFP... have to strive for the better tomorrow so I can give more and expect nothing but HIS blessings...

Panicked Night!!

2008-08-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

It happened 2 days ago.... At 3.15am Nenet knocked my door several times soo loud!!... aku yg demam selsema nih ngan teramat malas membuka pintu bilik to see Hanna covered with blanket held in Nenet's arms. "Ya Allah.... apsal nih?" aku drp mai2 terus cargass... Nenet kata Hanna sejuk menggigil-gigil... I took her in my arms peluk dia kuat2... Ya Allah... apsal teruk sgt menggigil nih... she was shivering so hard until I shivered too. Kejut2 taknak bangun... panggil2 dia tak jwb.. mata pun tak buka... aduhh... panic dah nih... I put her on my bed, woke Abaji up to take her temperature... hhmm dah tak demam, tp kaki tangan dia sejuk sgt... badan menggigil mcm main dlm salji.

She was caught with fever these few days... panas jugak but I didn't worried much because she was active and appetite dia pun bleh tahan... and siang tadi demam dia pun dah kebah... berjoget2 happy nak gi skolah esok (dah baper hari dah tak gi skolah... boring la tu...). Tp aku dah cuak ni sbb dia sejuk menggigil teruk sgt... demam kura ke ape nih?! Na'uzubillah... I put her sweater on, gosok vicks kat kaki, pakai socks tebal, balut ngan blanket lagi 3-4 helai... then baru la ok sket... a bit relieved when she nodded when i called her name. So, boleh la tido balik....

Tp kejap jer... pastu rasa dahi dia panas... makin lama makin panas... just imagine within that 10 mins temperature dia from 36 terus shoot ke 40?!! Alahaii... panic balik dah... sbb panggil2 tak jwb... mata tak leh bukak... aku cabut semua blanket, sweaters and baju dia semua... nenet menggelabah cari cold pack... aku dah nak nangis dahh... ajak Abaji bwk gi emergency... Tp ehh.. mcm nak bwk pagi 2 buta nih... kita mana ade kereta... aku agak riak lah gak dgn subway kat sini yg super convenient and super efficient kalau nak ke mana2, tak payah pakai keta... but now, I wish I had a car...

Baru terdetik nak call 911, Hanna bangun bukak mata cakap nak air, ahh... lega makk... gave her some water and put her back to sleep between me and Abaji... baru jer aku nak terlelap..... BLUWWEKK!!!!... dia muntah tersembur kat Abaji... seb baik dia tak tido ngiring ngadap aku... Abaji bangun sepantas kilat terus gi bilik air membersihkan diri. Tinggal la mak ngan Hanna atas katil tadah muntah dia... banyak giler.. melimpah2... abis separuh katil dah... dia muntah dan muntah terus... aku rasa sampai kosong isi perut dia... time ni aku mmg dah meleleh air mata... sayu hati tgk dia lembik lunyai sbb muntah bnyk sgt...

I washed her up, tukar baju dia get ready nk bwk gi emergency... tetiba dia dgn selamba mcm takde apa2 dia cakap... "Mommy... come go in front play with me... I wanna play puzzle..." Hahahaa... now I'm puzzled... anak aku ni ok ke tidak?!!... pegi kat depan main ngan dia jap.. pastu dia cakap dia lapar... makan biskut sket... then bagi dia ubat demam... then main puzzle lagi sampai abis subuh... and ddozzzzzz.... she went to sleep until 11am and missed her school again ;)

ALHAMDULILLAH... Now Hanna dah ok dah.. pegi skolah balik... tinggal la nenet pulak yg demam teruk tak baik2 lagi tu... hhmm... nasib la Abaji... layan kebab kat bwh tepi jln tu jer la sorry ye yangg.. i tak larat (a.k.a malas) la nak masak... until nenet regain her fitness to take charge of the kitchen again yg tak berasap2 sejak mak took over... hehehe...

Rombongan Cik Kiah...

2008-08-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

Bukan rombongan Cik Kiah daaa... ni rombongan Cik Zarina pegi celebrate besday anak dia yg ke 4 thn kat zoo hari tu.

Date: 12 July 08
Day: Saturday
Time: 8.30am to 5.30 pm (echehh... mcm opis hours daa..)
Venue: Bronx Zoo, NY
Weather: Very the hot!!!.. perghh... camna la kat padang mahsyar nanti... astaghfirullah.
Event: Sarah's 4th Birthday Celebration
Ticket: Free (pakai Zarina punye membership)

Who: Zarina's family (Mark, Zarina, Hajar and Sarah), Fiona dan her daughter Grannie (the rest of her anak dara kena tinggal ngan daddy diorang kat rumah), Audrey's family (Hin Ngan, Audrey, Christopher and Mei Mei), Hajar's friend (tah sapa nama aku tak ingat), Hanna, Nenet and me (Abaji taknak join... nak study katanya... elok lah... pastu bleh ajar mak ni yg tak sedar diri... dah nak exam masih merewang ke sana-kemari). Carin's family (Carin, her hubby, David and Natalie) joined us in the afternoon.

Meals: Meehoon nenet masak (tapau), brownies from Zarina (birthday cake takde ye... tak practical nak bwk), big-red-sweet cherries (my favorite), cookies and biscuits, cheese pizza and ice-cream (yg ni beli...)

Activities: Madagascar exhibitions, Camel mask coloring for kids, Amphibians exhibition (akakk geliii....), Congo Village (gorillas... this is a must!!), Face paintings (Hanna tetiba berubah fikiran bila tgk color hitam kena calit kat muka Sarah... apadaaa...), Bugs Caraousel ridding (Hanna paling terkinja2 nak naik ni... tp penakutnye... masyaallah... terpaksa la mak temankan... mak pun apalagaa... enjoyyy!!), makan2 dan minum2... dan berjalan tengok binatang sampai pancitttt!!!!...

Remarks: Frankly... aku lebih suka shopping la drp pegi zoo... hehehehhh... Tp Hanna ni suke sgt gi zoo!!.. But I had fun watching Hanna and the kids having fun... walaupun pancit giler aku petang tuh nak mendukung si budak butat dah tido kepenatan, panjat tangga subway!!.. and fanasss...fanasss..fanasss... the temperature was 36 degree celcius (itam legam aku anak beranak). Katanya it will be hotter in August... oh, duduk di rumah aje lah aku kalo mcm nih... (tetiba jadik 'puteri lilin' ni ape hal??!)

Hoping for Miracle...

2008-07-31T02:33:00.000-07:00

Yes.. really hoping for it...

Miracle on my mom's health... yes, she's on intensive chemo again :(

Miracle on my TK1001 exam result... aduihh.. lemah longlai kuar drp exam room. Terus sarung sun glasses takmoh Abaji nampak air mata aku dah bergenang menunggu tumpah sbb tak leh jwb uuwwaaa!! :( (bleh le jwb ngan 7-8 soklan objective aku tembak... and almost all my essays merapu tahap gaban selama 3 jam ituusss....)

Only Allah knows.... Wallahualam...

But why not I be more grateful with all the miracles and rezki given from Him for all these while??!! instead asking for more lah pulak... Astaghfirullahhal'azimm...

AKU TERIMA NIKAHNYA....

2008-07-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

That was 5 years ago on 19 July 2003. Hari yg mengubah status kehidupan ku menjadi seorang ISTERI. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me the chance to go through that moment.
And today, WE ARE 5!!.. wow!! how fast time flies... rasa mcm sekejap sgt... rupanya dah 1/2 dekat. Hanna pun dah 3 thn lebihh... hehehee.. rasa mcm mimpi lak..

Alhamdulillah, so glad I met him, a simple and humble man... the man that always improving himself and his family.... perfecting the life of imperfect me....

Semoga jodoh ini berkekalan di dunia dan di akhirat... AMEEN...

I'm going through the sleepless nights again....

2008-07-09T00:33:00.000-07:00

Ohh... ini semua gara2 terlalu taksub dgn business ku yg semakin berkembang (Alhamdulillah... rezeki... not bcoz of the $$$, but I really enjoy doing it very much!!) sampai terabai assignments and project paper yg semakin dekat deadline nyerr.... (Abaji kata padan muka... huhuhu...)

Well... I'm naturally the eleventh hour person, kalo tak de ape2 pun mmg last minute baru nak terkedek2 cari bahan buat assignment... (which I found my brain works better under presure...).

With my exam is just around the corner... boleh lagi aku dok soping online beli handbags berjam2 lamanye!! sampai naik cramp punggung nih...

Seriously... aku tersangatlah MALAS nak study kali ni... cuba la bagi nasehat sket kat aku ini yg bagai sudah lupa daratan dan lautan... siang dan malam.... boleh??

New York Philharmonic Orchestra

2008-06-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

Date: June 24th, 2008
Day: Tuesday
Time: 7.30pm - 10.00pm
Venue: Central Park (East 80th St)
Who?: Me, Shelly, Kak Wan and Ashraf
Event: NY Philharmonic Orchestra Concert
Ticket: FREE!!.. tuh yg nak pegi tuhh..
Theme: Open air concert ala2 berpicnic gitu...
Meal: Mushroom pizza, cupcakes yummmyy!!, watermellon, lemonade and air masak..
Weather: Perfect summer evening!!

Remarks: Best, best and besttt!!!!.. tak sangka aku bleh layan classical music... Fireworks at the closing event... very the cantek!! cuma setting camera aku yg tak betul... hampehh... can bring Hanna next time :)

Dear Hik...

2008-06-24T00:32:00.000-07:00

Alahai nyahh... beriye-iye aku hambik gambar Chinatown for your assignment, siap hangkut Hanna n makcik gi pasar lagiks... alih2 ko tukar la pulak topic hensignment ko tuh... apa daa.. buang karann jer aku dgn kompiden nyer snap sana sini mengalahkan tourist gitu... sampai uncle jual ikan tu muskel tgk aku amik gambor dia...

Nah... aku tampal cni jer lah for your viewing. Kot ko nak pakai buat assignment lain nantiks.... amik kat sini aje lah.

Pas gi beli ikan... bwk Hanna main bola kat Central Park sambil usha squirrel... nampaknyer mat minah saleh nih dah start berjemur... that shows summer is here already!! Well tak lama lagi start pakai baju ala2 bogels la diorang pas nih.

SUBUH

2008-06-22T00:38:00.000-07:00

I still freshly remembered my resolutions during the HIJRAH new year recently.
TAK NAK TIDO LEPAS SUBUH!!

But now with Subuh masuk kol 3.45am and 5.20am dah SUNRISE terang benderang... mmg sgt susah ler aku nak maintain alert lepas subuh... tu lom masuk lagi bab subuh gajah..huhuhuh.. aduii laa :(

Ohhh... dugaan!!!... Ya Allah.. kuatkan lah iman hamba mu ini...

Little Artists

2008-06-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

It was Hanna's last day at school for spring session... but I have already enroll her for Summer classes yg yurannye mahal menyengat tuh. So literally she has to go to school during this 3 months summer holiday... so takde peluang la Hanna nak kacau Mak slalu kat rumah... Hehehhh... power tak taktik Mak, Hanna??... hehehhh... ohh!!.. she called me Mommy now... abis bertukar ikut anak mat saleh... my attempts to retain the nama panggilan 'Mak' gagal sama skali...
Miss Caitlin (her teacher) and other moms decided to make some makan2 and little exhibition for the painting the kids have made (3 to 5 yrs old)... and aku nak tak nak kena la menjoinkan diri...

It was wonderful to see the children's art works and creativities. Pastu siap ade performance and presentation la bagai from bebudak nih... nak tergelak tgk this cute little creatures... so funny and adorable. Hahahah.. kesian anak aku tak reti nyanyi... diri mcm patung... hahahha...

Hanna reminded me of myself when I was small, being the smallest and the shortest in the class (lagi tenggelam la dikalangan American sized kids!).

The only different that I noticed is she's a quiet, introvert kind of girl compared to myself the very extrovertly LOUD and KEPOH dari kecik sampai ke tua... Well, I am what I am... just happy of being me... lalalala... :)

Alhamdulillah...

2008-06-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

ALHAMDULILLAH...

I passed all the CIFP subjects for last sem. Abaji pun sama... lega rasanya. Although not with distinctions... tapi aku ttp bersyukur sgt2, sbb tak confident jer menjwb esp. my 2nd paper. Well now it's time for me to fulfill the 'nazar' I've made...

Was so worried about my result at that time... but the shopping therapy really helped to calm me down.... (therapies ok... sbb hari2 shopping menggesek c.c Abaji... hehehe.. best!!). So I bought few nice handbags on sale for my business, which most of them are sold out... again Alhamdulillah....

And these too... yg ni tah bila la aku nak upload dlm "Original for Less". Tungguuu...

And I bought this elegant black COACH Ergo leather satchel... ohh.. what a heaven spending time berjam-jam kat COACH butique tu... tp bukan hakak punyer ye... ni orang kirim ye.. tak de discount!!

And this Ergo leather Pleated tote... well it's not mine too... from the full price store ok... I still cannot afford to buy for myself... (can la, pastu puasa sebulan and then torek telinga dengar 'khutbah jumaat' Abaji... ohh.. tidakkk...)

And this Fendi B. Mix... yg ni laaagiii la bukan haku punyerr!!!.. The ribu riban USDs!!! (ni puasa 3-4 bulan pun belum tentu Abaji stop 'khutbah jumaat' tetiap hari kat aku...)

And these nice fancy Aigners ordered from my loyal customer... she's Aigner freaks ok... pon tarak discount... so cannot promo in Original For Less...

Pastu beg skolah tajuk Jansport mcm nih pun ade gak orang order... aci tak?... heheheh...

This is from other male customer... dia order CK 4 Pieces Gift Set.. siap ade payung CK tu... kelasss abang ni punye taste...

And other few more stuff for customers like baju Oshkosh, Charter Club wallets and riding bag Harley Davidson pun aderr... tah dlm folder mana aku campak gambarnye tahh...

Hanna juga sungguh gumbira mendapat habuan baju n kasut baru... Secara automaticnye mesti lah terbeli utk dia skali... ohh.. sungguh geram tgk baju budak yg mak budak tak leh nak pakaiii!!!

Dengan merasa sungguh tak aci sbb beli untuk orang jer, aku dgn jayanya telah mengendeng Abaji beli nih utk diri senirikss...

VICTORIA'S SECRET beauty range... Ohh!! sungguh best and wangissss!!.. I like!!! Tak dapat Cabtree & Evelyn pun tak per... sudah dpt Victoria's Secret jadi pengganti... but VS inner wear yg cantek2 and sexy2 tuu are soo expensive!!.. so tak jadi beli. I love the body mist, bubble bath, body scrub n lip gloss... pastu ade promotion ape tah time tu beli Supermodel cloth tote $10 je, dpt free EDP parfume and maskara.... hahahha.. tote pink tu cukup besar utk aku bawak gi pasar la pas ni... hehehehhh....

And these make-up too... yg hentah thn bila nak pakai ntah ni... but tetiba terasa mcm nak color2 muka laks.. heheh... menggatal! Tah bila la nak abis blusher ngan eye shadow nih gamaknyer... sampai expired lah ye...

And recently, I got myself this super duper comfort Timberland Loafer.... ohh.. sgt suke SUMMER Sale!!! Drp $80, jadi $59.99... pastu ade the 1 day BIGGEST sale of the year kat Macy's $30+ jer skali ngan tax... mana nak dpt kat M'sia Timberland ori RM100 mcm nih!!.. Tp yg paling best.. yg ni confirm bukan kulit babi!!!... heheheheh... suke..suke..sukee!!!

Tp yg tak berapa sukenye... short semester CIFP dah start balik... huhuuh... 4 assignment + 1 project paper kena submit serentak dlm masa sebulan boleh??.. pastu ujung bulan depan ade exam lagi... seb baik amik 1 subject jer...

Yg terindah hanyalah sementara... :( huhuhuhuuu.. takpe Abaji kata... bawak2 la stop kejap... pas exam bln 8 leh sambung shopping lagi... sementara duit dia nak replenish. Tp bln 8 sale dah abisss.... huhuhuuh....

5.5...

2008-05-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

May 5th... was my mom's birthday!!.. Happy 59th Birthday Mak... Saya sayang mak... huwawawaa... time ni air mata... air hidung... dah meleleh :(
Keep going on with your soul strong. I pray that the "cyber-knife procedure" on your brain will give us a new hope. Mak... saya tak kan berputus asa pada rahmat Allah... selagi nyawa dikandung badan... Insyaallah...

May 5th... was my 1st day of CIFP exam!!.. Just couldn't get rid the butterflies in my stomach... and lagi buat aku stress... hubby was also sitting for the exam with me... tengok dia tulis essay IB1001 tu laju jer... siap mintak kertas jawapan lebih tuu... isskkk!! tensii..tensiii...

And now... 2 papers down... one more to go!.. May 12th... isykkk... tensiiii some more!!!
Jgn ditanya how I was doing... aku berdoa agar pemeriksa tu bagi markah kesian on my silly mistakes dlm IB1002 hari tuu!!.. isykk...

Tawhid Concept in Child - It's a FITRAH :)

2008-04-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Yes... I'm worry too much... I'm worry that I didn't put enough effort to teach my child the concept of tawhid... every time I explained to Hanna, dia buat 'donno' jer. No reaction or anything... Tapi bila aku cakap pasal hantu sket... tau pulak takut minah ni...

Until I came across this article "ANTARA TUHAN DAN HANTU" during my blog hopping recently... I don't think I have to worry too much anymore. Indeed... I feel confident now with my explanations and techniques, and will continue to teach and nurture my child at the best of my ability.

Thanks to Kak Zura for her frequently forwarded emails (dgn topic yg pelbagai sampai tak kuasa aku nak baca...), which eventually lead me to Saifulislam.com. It's another cool blog about Islam... my reading recommendation to everyone.

I Feel Unease...

2008-04-24T23:33:00.000-07:00

Because....

I still have sooo much to read... and to understand... and to memorize of all 3 subjects... and I feel like I don't have enough time for all that coz my exams is another 9 days more to go!! urrggghh!!... that cleary shows how bad my time management is.... huhuhuh :(
I've had frequent dreams of my Emak in my sleep lately... not nightmare or bad dreams though... but every time I tried to talk to her in my dreams, my voice got stuck in my throat and she faded away. Few attempts of calling her during the day... but not answered... iskkk.. lagi la rasa tak best!!!
Managed to call Emak this morning... and she told me about her pain in the head... She suspected that the cancer is attacking her brain again!!! Ohhh!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! Ya Allah!!.. selamatkan lah mak aku!!!!... :(

"Puding Sedap Aku"

2008-04-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Akhirnyaaa..... hahahah... dapat jugak aku custard flour yg ku idam2kan selama ini. Thank you Mak Aya, tolong bawakkan hari tu. I really appriciate it very much. Kpd sesapa yg nak datang NYC... kontek2 la aku ni... nak kirim lagi tepung custard barang 5 -6 bungkus. Hari tu silap pesan kat Mak Aya sebungkus jer.

Ranyaahhh.... aku telah berjaya juga akhirnya membuat resipi "Puding Sedap Aku" ko tuh... aku modify sket tambah esen vanilla (Mak Aya bagi jugak...) and guna fresh milk instead of condensed milk. Sedap koo (lagi sedap drp ko buat kot?! ;p)... sehingga menjilat sudusss... heheheh.... kira terrer gak la aku buat... (serta-merta aku telah menjadi kerek lagi poyo!!.. ehekss...). Aku sengaja buat kuah dia tak pekat sgt. Aku tak letak telur pun... (hehh... sure abah tak suka sbb kuah tak pekat!). Kira nih my MIL bleh layan la... sbb tak de telur.

Sorry la Mak Aya, tak sempat buat hari tu while u were here... kita kan were the very bz gitu... dan aku tak beranik nak suh nenet buat. Lihat saja apa yg telah terjadi pada Triple Chocolate Moist ku itusss... tu baru suh dia letak topping... jadi huru-hara dah rope kek akuh!!.. seb baik ko sudi nak telan... kehh..kehh!!!

Original recipe of "Puding Sedap Aku" yg diperturunkan oleh Hik adalah seperti berikut (ni cut n paste terus drp email dia ok... takde modify punyerr...):

Hik wrote...

"1 mug tepung kastard + 7 mug air (sukatan ni pakai tin kastard lagi senang) kacau jek atas api sampai penat (dari warna oren jadik warna kuning)... jgn tinggal, nanti ketul...

Masukkan susu manis (lebih kurang 2 senduk nasik) + jagung (suku tin) + fruit coctail (suku tin) + susu cair (suku tin) + gula pasir (2 senduk nasik) = kacau sampai mendidih.

Tuang dalam bekas (aku pakai bekas aiskrim). Bila dah sejuk, masuk fridge.

Kuah...

Periuk yg ada balance tepung2 tadi ko tambah belen susu cair + belen jagung tin + air 7 mug = kacau atas api + sebijik telur ayam yang dah dipukul. kalau tak pukul dulu nanti ketul. jadik macam kuah mee bandung pulak. + gula pasir + susu manis + belen fruit coctail. rasa2 le. kalu nak tambah manis taruk lebih gula ke...

Ada orang buat puding jek. lepas tu curah terus susu cair ngan coctail atas dia bila nak hidang. lagik senang."

Sekian, selamat mencuba.... terima kasih.

Spring Is Coming....

2008-04-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Grasses are green... (squirrel ni sebok interframe pulak...)

leaves are growing...

flowers are blooming...

... and I'm LOVING it!!!...

The spring is here! Not too hot... and not too cold.. hhmmm lovely!! And we were strolling @ CENTRAL PARK again.... (dgn perasaan ku yg agak cuak sbb syllabus tak abis lagi... exam lagi 2 minggu.. halamakss!!!). As usual... Hanna adalah orang yg paling gumbira.. lalalaa... :)

p/s: Mak Aya... kalo ko dtg time2 mcm ni... tak de la kite menjadi BEKU kat atas Empire State Building hari tu.... hehehehee... I'll put that entry later lah ye...

Hanna Goes to School!!

2008-04-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

The Co-op Pre-School representative called me. Somebody has moved out so there was a spot for Hanna and she may begin immediately... no need to wait until new intake in Sept 08. Hanna sungguh terkinja2 nak pegi skolah malam tu... can't wait till tomorrow. I was also excited... as I'm gonna be the helper mom (teacher's assistant) for the 1st time.

Hanna's new schedule goes like this:

School days - Monday, Wednesday and Friday 9.30am to 12.30pm (best tak?! 3x jer seminggu... and the fee, $172/month... plus $86 once a year. Believe me... that's the cheapest in town!!)
Art & Craft class - Wednesday 4.00pm
Story telling session - Thursday 2.00pm

Tried to get her as busy as I could so that she won't be clinging at me too much. Thought of enrolling her to the music class every Tuesday and Friday... tapi Abaji didn't approve!!... nanti leka main music je... jadi mcm Mak, eh tak... mcm Kassim Selamat!!.. Kelas mengaji kat Masjid East 96th Street tu tak terima budak 3 thn... aci tak cenggitu??! And of course spiritual activities has to be continuously taugh at home.

One thing I like about this school... it's a small group of children fully run by parents-teacher. Parents and teacher sit together and go through the syllabus and the teaching program. Every session must be attended by a helper mom on rotation basis whose child being taught in the class. And I already got my schedule to be the helper mom too. Kena jaga 6 kali sampai abis sem.

Frankly, I felt so blessed to be able to get involve directly with my daughter's formal learning process. I felt safe and secure to see my daughter learn and socialize in front of my eyes (although I cannot supervise the class everyday...). At least I'll have some ideas if I decided to homeschooling my children one day (hhmm... tak abis2 berangan nak homeschooling...). In 2003, there's more than 1 million of homeschooled children in the US. Well, maybe I would be able to do so if we continue to stay in the US forever (chehh... berangan lagi...).

I'm BACK!!!

2008-04-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Hi!! Miss me huh?... (heheheh perasan). Oh... dah sebulan rupanya tak update blog ni. Was in the long marathon in completing my projects and assignments, just in time when Mak Aya came to visit me. I had great time spending with Mak Aya for almost 2 weeks!! Aku dgn rasminye telah menjadi tourist guide yg tak bertauliah kat sini. Huru-hara jugak nak membaca map subway... Sorry la Mak Aya for any inconvenience while you were here. Just got back form Orlando, Florida recently. Reason being... teman Mak Aya conference kat sana... sambil suka ria... dan menenangkan fikirian (konon...) dan berlepak-lepakkan... dan berindu-rinduan dgn Hanna dan Abaji di NYC.

The original plan was only to visit Seaworld and Universal Studios. Sekali tu... jeng..jengg...jengg... bila sampai sana tengok ade Orlando Premium Outlet dekat ngan hotel. Hehehehe... bak kata one of my friend... "penyakit dah mai dah"... maka tebuntang lah biji mata ku tengok COACH punye la murah... (tak de la murah sgt... but very much cheaper than KL!!!). Oleh kerana teringatkan rakan2 and sanak saudara di Malaysia yg mungkin berminat memiliki original COACH dgn harga yg lebih murah dan berpatutan... so aku telah memborong la setengah dozen handbags itusss!!.. ingatkan nak beli lebih... tapi sendri mau ingat la... excess luggage nak kena bayar... sengatt giler. So hanya ini lah yg dpt ku beli utk rakan taulan di Malaysia. Ingat nak mintak Mak Aya bawakkan balik Malaysia. Ohh.. tak terbawa olehnye sbb dia sendirik telah terhuyung-hanyang nak bwk her belongings. So, nak tak nak terpaksa la post to Mak Aya... mmg menyengat postage cost. But all in all… the bags are still very cheap compared to Malaysia.

So folks, do check out http://discounted-premium-outlet.blogspot.com/ to purchase those lovely handbags.

Ceritera Lapuk...

2008-03-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

Quite a number of events happened this past few months, although they were small and not significant to others... but definitely mean something to me. Managed to captured some moments, but too bz to update the blog. Totally forgot about them until I did housekeeping to my folders recently...

My 1st attempt on PIZZA making (late January 08)

Jadi beb!!.. made it from scratch, was quite impressed with myself since I don't really fancy being in the kitchen. (This pic was taken after aku rasmikan the 1st slice). Ni dah malas nak kira kitchen experiment yg ke berapa dah nih. But this is my 1st time masak pizza, hasil permintaan tekak sendiri dan Hanna. (Susah nak cari kedai pizza halal sini). But I didn't know that the dough recipe was meant for the thin crust pizza, so rasanya rangup mcm makan biskut instead of roti. Hanna named it pizza kruk..krukk... Paling best, being left overnight tak 'lemau' pun (maybe bcoz of very dry weather). So, abaji bawak gi office on the next day. Wanna try? Here.

Light Headed (early Feb 08)

Ohh... rimas giler dah ni. I'm not used to have long hair anymore. Not like zaman anak dara sunti dulu. So Zarina (my new friend) took me and nenet to Chinatown on the 4th day of Chinese New Year. Kasi cantas itu rambut..... Why Chinatown?.. coz it's so much more cheaper compared to saloon near my house. It turned out to be that the saloon owner was Malaysian (Ipoh mali maa...). Fuhh.. bantai cakap melayu jer la... dah lama giler rasa tak cakap melayu with strangers. Ingatkan bleh dpt discount... huhhh!! I was reminded to pay tips some more!!.... mencikk tau dok cni!!... sumer nak kena bayar tips. But my head felt so light after that... no more hair poking around my shoulders.

Sempat tengok lion dance kejap on the way balik. Kiri kanan jalan penuh bersepah dgn confectionary. Mercun kat cni bunyi mcm kentut jer... meletup pastu beterbangan keluar confectionary (hahaha.. tak dapat nye nak menghalau hantu....). This is how ABC (American-born-Chinese) celebrated CNY. Takde la kuat bunyi mercun mcm bom meletup like in their origin country (or like M'sia). True culture assimilation could be seen here. Singa menari - kepala singa cina pengang, badan kat tengah mat saleh , pegang ekor... mat gagak. Tukang pukul gendang... rupa mcm melayu... (Hispanic kot?!)

Hanna's Art & Craft Class (mid Feb 08)

I joined a moms' association here. Not so much for myself but for Hanna. Most of the members are doctors' wifes from all over the world whom their husband doing reseach or specialist at the hospital nearby. Ramai housewife lah... I've made some friends but really have no time to mingle around with them due to commitment of my study (huhuhuh... rugi jer bayar...). Being a member, my daughter has the previlage to join the art & craft class, music class, playgroup and outing sessions, and with minimal fee, she can go to the pre-school there. Actually there's much more activities for mommys and their kids conducted by the members, but couldn't join most of them coz selain bz, their venue is considerablely far. Tak berani suruh nenek bwk Hanna jauh2 alone since nenet is still not familiar with the road here. But Hanna has attended few classes on Art & Craft held once every week. Clearly, she has ripped some benefits from it. She really enjoyed them so much.

Hanna's 1st art - Valentine's Card to Abaji... syiok betul tgk dia layan tampal2 love tu... 1st time holding scissors and glue!

Second craft - Paper Man!!

Ehh!!... tangan paper man sebelah lagi dah tanggal daaa....

Recently... Ester basket... No! We don't celebrate Ester as we don't celebrate Christmas and Valentines... this is just an art craft.

Got pink little bunny mashmellow inside the bag... the green grass inside was made from rope.

It's Story Time!!...

This is another activity most awaited by Hanna every week! I found out a Children's Public Library just a few block from our house in late January. Scheduled with many activities designed for infants, toddlers and older kids (from 6 months to 7 yrs old) like story telling session and creativity session. Obviously, Hanna loves being here... surrounded by many friends and friendly facilitators. She can learn a lot from this place. Balik kelas jer sure cakap homputeh yg slang tah ape2.... and the best thing is.. all classes are FREE!And she got her own library card too... They have losts of good books she can borrow anytime. Unfortunately, there's nothing on early Islamic education. I suggested to the library to have at least a series on Iqra' books or books about 25 Phrophets... hehehe... mcm la diorang nak layan...

Hhhmm... after looking at all these, yet I wonder why I don't have enough time to study although I'm not working. Couldn't be more than agree with K.Zie as what she had campak in her blog... I'm not just a mom... I'm a "Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations". And now I'm training nenet to be the "Associate Research Assistants" like what other professional nanny here does... provided she won't aks for salary jump!! :)

Oh My God !!!....

2008-03-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

OMG!!... MasyaAllah!!! SubhanaAllah!!... Astaghfirullah!!....
As I was looking at my account summary thru Internet Banking, suddenly my eyes became so terbuntang!!... I felt my heart stopped pumping for a while, and then started beating fast like crazy!!!.. Rasa mcm nak gugur jantung nih. I was panicked and overwhelmed... Not becaused some hacker or conman has robbed all the money in my account, (ade baper sen sgt pun kalo nak curi...) but ade terlebih banyak duit pulak dlm account akuh! Quite a huge sum, bukan takat 2-3 ribu...(huhuhuh... sib baik in RM... kot in USD ke... pound sterling kaa... lagi la gelap mata ku ini...).

Oh... adakah ini rezeki datang dari langit ?!! From the transaction detail, it seems like somebody has used a corporate desktop banking and transferred it to me. Obviously this is not from individuals yg nak kirim barang kat cni. I was so excited and wanted to wake Abaji up, but managed to refrain myself form doing that because it was 4.30 in the morning. So, I decided to tell him after subuh nanti and continued doing my assignments. Hehehhh... tak bleh concentrate nak wat keja pun... I was in the deep hard thinking and wondering where the source of that money came from. Dalam pada tu sempat berangan pulak tu, hhmmm... bleh employ private nurse utk mak ngan abah la mcm nih... kalo tak pun boleh employ maid Filipino utk diorang... kehhkehhhkehh... (sbb baru discuss ngan Hakim siang tadi pasal maid indon susah nak dapat).

Tapi mujur lah imanku yg senipis kulit bawang dan kewasaran akal fikiran masih mampu mematikan angan-angan mat jenin ku... (dah la tengah dok buat project paper pasal ethics in Islamic economics ni)... As I don't expect to receive any money from anyone at the moment, I think this must be a mistake. I've heard this kind of mistake happened, which the receiver had already used the money. The court ordered to return the money and the receiver got penalised some more for being dishonest . Since it has happen to others, it could be happening to me as well. The devil in me said... alahai... duit dah masuk dlm acct aku, jadi aku punye ler.... diam2 sudah le buat ape nak kecoh. Tapi hati ni terdetik... dpt duit banyak tak tau mana asal usulnye, tak berkat nanti tak guna juga....

So, trying to be an ethical person, I contacted the bank to verify the source and genuineness of that transaction and now it's under invastigation. * Ohh... Abaji skype from office, tanya bank dah reply blum... hhhmmm... he must be wandering also...*

We had fun under the sun on the snow :)

2008-02-25T13:40:00.001-08:00

Date: Feb 24th, 2008
Day: Sunday
Time: 2.00pm
Duration: approximately 1 hour (tak tahan woo lama2...grrrrrr....)
Venue: Central Park, Manhattan
Weather: Sunny, Mild wind, Cool (0 degree celcius)

Weather remarks during winter: -13 to -6 (freezing cold, not dare going out... except for Abaji yg terpaksa pegi keja), -5 to -1 (cold / considered daily average tempreture, pun dok rumah jer la...), 0-4 (cool a.k.a suam2 kuku, keluar bila perlu for some errands), 5-10 (oh.. nice warm weather for a short walk *provided still pakai baju 3 lapis inside winter coat*), 11-14 (perfect!!... very rare to get, ade la few times for the past 3 months), 15 and above (weather sesat.... pernah sekali dapat sampai 17 degree, best giler... lots of mat salehs pakai shorts... and minah salehs took the opportunity going out pakai spegetti stripe... pastu the next day sojukk balik... jangan harap dah lerr...)

Lepas ni it's either salji makin cair or... akan ade blizzard or snow storm yg jadi lagi teruk... so baik kita pegi skarang walaupun sejuk (aku sebenarnye sudah tepu dok rumah ni buat assignments yg tak siap2 tuh).

Moral of the story: Mendung tak bererti hujan... terik matahari tak bererti panas. Don't ever think bright sunlight brings along the warm weather!

A friend gave me a pair of very nice and pretty winter boots for Hanna during fall hari tu. Aku sudah happy lah sbb dah tak yah beli... asked nenet to keep the boots until then, we discovered that it was PIGskin!!!... (againn?!!!). So main redah je lah Hanna pakai kasut nipis dia... Kesian kaki anak aku beku... nevertheless, she enjoyed herself more than ever...

My Abah...

2008-02-24T01:34:00.000-08:00

As I was skyping with Hik not so long ago, (apart from showing off their pics laki bini riding on Husni's new superbike) she sent me this photo of Abah which was taken in the very good old days... tak tau thn bila lupa lak nak tanya, but i supposed during his 'bujang sunti' time la kot?! Hik passed remark to me, "Husni (Hik's hubby) kata rupa Abah masa ni sebijik mcm ko la Nom".

When I looked at it at first glance, hhmm ye la... ade rupa sket especially kat mata (which Abah used to tease me of having mata panjang sampai ketepi, mcm ayam... keh..kehh..kehhh...). But I thought this pic looked more like Haiat (the youngest) or Hakim (the 2nd)... not so much of me. Then, when Abaji looked at it later, he said, "Ehh... Abah ni rupa macam Hik la... iye la... macam Haziq pun ade..." (Haziq - Hik's elders son). Hahahahaa... aku terus terbarai gelak kuat2 teringat yg laki Hik kata rupa abah mcm aku, laki aku pulak kata rupa abah mcm Hik. Well, lots of people and sedara mara said both of us (me and my elder sister, Hikmah) look like Abah. But the fact is, rupa aku ngan Hik sikit pun tak sama langsung!.. Jauh berbeza sungguh!!!....

I think apart from my look, I inherited his genes more than I got from Emak. My character and behavior (including temperament, egoistic and 'keras kepala') are more towards Abah's. During my growing up days, especially teenage, I always had arguments and dissatisfaction with Abah. Due to that, and plus comparing his different treatment given to all 7 siblings, I had always thought that Abah didn't love me... or loved me the least.

But I’ve been through several changes as I grown up and started to have my own career and family. My perception towards Abah also has changed over the time. I know Abah loves me… he even told me that he loves me… (which I think very rare for typical Malay fathers express their feeling of love verbally to their adult children). My unique Abah, is of the extreme of two… he could be very2 fierce and intolerable bila naik darah (belasah anak2 pakai tali pinggang, tak hengattt punyerr... ni zaman dolu2 la.. takde teledera... hahahah...), but he is also a very sanguine, fun loving father, and always love to entertain his children. When abah buat lawak… memang all of us tergelak sakan sampai keluar air mata… He’s good at playing psychology with kids and his cucus are so bertuah having a granddad like him. No matter what, I really love my Abah and I always do.

Right now, aku sangat rindu nak dengar Abah main organ kat rumah. I called home again several days ago, and it was so painful to hear that Abah is re-hospitalized, dah 8 hari dah… (and no one telling me!!.. chessss!!). He's just discharged from the ward for not more than two weeks recently, and now kena masuk balik. Oh... sometimes I wish I were rich so I can dedicate private nurse and dietitian cum cook at home utk menguruskan hal2 kesihatan Abah and Emak. Being in the far away land and tak keja somemore, I can only pray for their well being and hapiness. And I really hope my brothers could take good care both of them well.

A person can have many children, but he/she can only have one true Abah and Emak. I just hope Allah give me enough rezeki and kesempatan utk jaga Abah and Emak for at least in this life… as I'm not sure I can be anak yg soleh enough for my doa to reach them in their next life later on… Or who knows if Allah wants me to go first before them … takut tak sempat merasa berbakti pada diorang.... Wallahualam…

Sneak Peek at Lovely LV

2008-02-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Went to Bloomingdales just now to pick up this gorgeous piece of handbag. It's TREVI PM from Louis Vuitton (sebut betul2.... "loo-wee vee-tahn"). But it's NOT MINE!!.... huhuhuhu...

Kepada si pengirim... till you get this in your possession, enjoy the pictures of ur elegant handbag first lah ok?... :) (please pardon the background appearance... as I'm just an amature in taking photos... the bag looks so much nicer compared to its pics).

Ohhh... dan yang ini akak punyer senirik... since I always stay up all the night lately (nak menyiapkan project papers and assignment lah), I need this "All About Eyes Hydrating Gel" to diminish my dark circle and puffiness around my eyes yg dah macam zombie nih....

Oh, how I love Clinique skin care products... it's gentle on your skin and it's afforable too. It is Clinique Bonus week now and I got these make-up kit for free. Well I'm not really into the make-up actually... tak reti lah... and I feel leceh some more... I'm not the type of woman who wear make-up to work (time2 anak dara dulu ade lah try2 sikit). I'm more comfortable wearing sunblock and lip balm without face powder, unless for special occasion or kenduri kendara lah. That's why aku punye lipstick dah nak dekat 4 tahun tak abis lagi... sbb pegi keja slalu lupa nak pakai... ni lagi dah tak keja.... tak pakai dah lerr... hehehhh... so dah dapat bende ni free lagi 4 tahun lah tak yah beli lah... lalalalala... ;)

Behave Yourself... OK?

2008-02-18T04:21:00.000-08:00

It was Daniel's birthday last Saturday, Feb 9th. Shelly ajak makan2 in the evening... and I haven't bought the present yet (party started in another 2 hours). So I urged Abaji to dress up and and follow me to buy something for budak tu... segan lah nak datang tangan kosong. Since Hanna dah lama tak keluar rumah, I decided to bring her along. But I gave her a very long lecture before we went out. I explained to her that.... "It is Daniel's birthday, he's the one who got to blow the candle, not you (Hanna... biasala, birthday orang semua jadi birthday dia). I'm gonna bring you to the toy shop quickly and buy a present for Daniel, because it's his birthday, not yours. Hanna, you must behave in the shop ok? Mak is not going to buy anything for you now, as we need to do it quick sbb kejap lagi we'll going to Aunty Shelly's house, eat cake for Daniel's birthday." *ehekss... skarang dah makin pandai cakap homputeh ngan Hanna :-p*

She nodded like a big girl... *iye ye jer budak ni... mcm paham*. So, there we went 3 beranak berjalan ke kedai mainan. Tapi aku dah jangka dlm hati, sure Abaji kena pow dgn si budak Hanna sampai kedai ni nanti. But to my BIG surprise.... Hanna was really well behaved in the shop from begining till the end. *This really not usual Hanna bila berada di toy shop* Dia dok tengok jer Mak and Abaji pilih hadiah. Cuma ade skali jer dia tarik2 my baju dari belakang and said "Makk... Hanna nak hold this one sekejap aje.... ok Mak?" Tah mainan ape dia nak pegang tah... I just said ok. Dia belek kejap pastu dia letak balik benda tu... Alahaiii anak mak... I was really underestimated her good behavior at first. That momment aku rasa nak belikan dia mainan tu time tu jugak. But I had to stick to my word. Otherwise, I'll be ruining the discipline that just built in her.

She had fun at Shelly's house, and yg bestnye senang pulak nak ajak balik kali ni.... hehehe... rasa mcm miracle pulak... slalunye berhempas pulas... melalak2 taknak balik sampai kena paksa. At home I praised and thanked her for behaving well, and I promised her to go to the shop again to buy her present.

And baru2 ni pegi lagi lah with Hanna and Nenent, coz Abaji keja.... hehehhehe...this time around dia sudah jadi Hanna yg seperti biasa.... semua benda nak pegang... semua benda dia nak amik... until I said, BEHAVE yourself ok?... Or I won't buy u anything.... hehehehe.... terus dia suh nenek letak balik semua barang tu... except for one Thomas & Friend small train, "Hanna want this one Mak..." skali mak tengok... Gulppp!!.. ape ke mahal benor la tren cinonet ni sampai $79 ??!! But I told her sincerely, that thing is very expensive, it's not worth for money that we have.... again she nodded like understood. So I brought her to another section, and suggest her to buy stickers instead *sbb dia suka sticker yg dia dapat masa Daniel's birthday hari tu* Dengan tak banyak karenah, she followed me and enjoyed picking stickers that she wanted... hehehhe $3 jer.... *slamat duit aku* but seeing enjoyment and excitement on her face.... PRICELESS!!...

I checked in Baby Centre.com looking at child development at her age, it stated that at her stage, she's very cooperative, wants to be recognized, always want to please people and started to learn the concept of sharing... ohh... no wonder.... My Hanna is just being herself. Subhanallah... best sungguh melihat ciptaan tuhan ini.....

Cabby Perries?!

2008-02-17T22:32:00.000-08:00

Just image if your kid ask u for CABBY PERRIES.... ape ke jadahnye aku pun tak tau, what animal on earth is this thing. That's what happen to me and Nenet, as Hanna always asked for cabby perries especially when main cooking2. From there I knew it's something that can be eaten. Unfortunately, I couldn't make a correct guess on what actually she wanted. Kuih ke, lauk ke, buah ke, jajan ke.. ape... I thought it was something like strawberries, blueberries, or what ever berries lah sbb "perries" kan lebih kurang sama bunyinye mcm "berries. However, the answer was always, "NO... bukan yg tu... yg mcm tu la mak...", pastu Hanna termenung.

"Yg mcm tu mcm mana, Hanna?".... and she just kept quiet, buat muka monyok.... not be able to explain. Sometimes she can describe things very well, but for this cabby perries dia tak leh plak nak describe ape bendenye. What a frustrating situation!!.. Kesian anak aku... Ya lah, bila fikir balik, how can u expect this little girl to give full explaination on what she wants... it's not fair for her. She's just being introduced to this world only for the last 34 months. So it's the parents responsibility to take care of the child's needs.

And days and weeks were gone... until last week, it was Danial's birthday... Hanna bawak balik party goodie bag, ade mcm2 la dlm tu... then she excitedly showed me a Sponge Bob sticker with the burger.... "Makkk... makk... this one... mak... CABBY PERRIES...!!!" Laaa... menatang ni rupanya...!! Masyaallah... Hanna... Hanna..

It was actually KRABBY PATIES!!!... What a bad mother I am... benda tu pun aku tak leh nak guess... pada hal tengok Sponge Bob ngan Hanna almost everyday!!!... Tapi time tengok tv Hanna tak cakap pun nak Cabby Perries... mana la mak nak tau. Then I told her, it's "krabby patties" ... not "keb-bi-pey-ris". She got it correctly... walaupun tersasul-sasul nak menyebut mula2. So the next day I bought burger bun and make beef patty for her... * tak kuasa la pulak aku nak mencari isi ketam buat burger* bukan dia nak makan pun... (she dislikes burger... McDonalds burger kat M'sia pun dia tak layan). Dia cuma nak makan roti burger yg bulat tu sapu cream... and that's what she called CABBY PERRIES. Bertuah punye budak....

Hehehehee... Mak rasa mcm nak men'saiko'kan Abaji belikan Hanna benda ni lah... ade jual kat Toy'R' Us....Hanna punye cooking set pun mcm dah 'hangus' jer rupenye. Syiok sket mak nak main cooking2 sama Hanna.... ;-P